Hi Sep,
Everyone here is trying to help - whether by 'Chicken Sauce' method
(reversed psychology) or out front written support - just so that
you know.
You are young and everyone needs varying degree of attention from
others. Me too. There is nothing wrong with that and I think that's
what you are craving/missing/lacking.
Let's deal with this logically. You contemplate suicide as a last
resort IS some form of 'logical' thinking because, to you, you
think that you have tried your best. But the problem is, not
everyone is right and practically there are hundred and one
solutions and not everyone, given the same situation, will think
that suicide is the last resort.
That lead us to a snag. What if you are wrong thinking that suicide
is the last resort? The deal here is to prevent making permanent
mistakes. Death is irreversible.
Ever heard people talk about having no regrets in life and all that
bullsh*ts? Well, the condition is to HAVE A LIFE to appreciate and
evaluate what they have done. Can you evaluate if death is the
right way out? If not, how do you know it's the 'last' solution? To
me, it's not even a solution.
We will die eventually but the only difference is, can we die
proud, smart, with integrity and achievements? Are there things in
your life that you are proud of, like a painting, an poem, a song,
your school result, your girlfriend, your buddies, your parents,
your obedient pet, your room decor, your choice of clothes,
etc...As long as there is one thing that you are proud of, you
should pursue it and exploit it, and excel in it. Can't do it when
you are dead. Nothing to be proud of? Read on...
It takes courage to commit suicide. Do you have that courage? It
takes a lot more brain to die successfully. Are you smart enough?
If you have the courage and brain, then why waste thinking no how
to die?!!!! Seow huh? But you are not seow what?
The thing is, if you succumbed to suicidal thoughts, you are weak,
useless and unaccomplished. For the moment that is. Every breathe
you are taking now is a sign of strength, life and determination.
All the food you are eating are energy for accomplishments. But
what have you done beside shitting and internet surfing? Get up and
do something positive. Write a song, save a life, adopt a dog, get
a f*ck, etc...(opps, NC 16)
Maybe what you feel is right, that your potential is under
utilized. But why do you feel that way? B'cos of your mum?? Oh
please! Stop blaming others. The only potential you have exhibited
is your propensity to commit suicide??
If you die, the world will still move on. One less forumite the
most. But there will be at least 2 sad souls. 15 years into the
drain just like that. If a meal cost $4, a day expenses is $12. One
month is $360. One year is $4,320. And 15 yrs is $64,800. I
strongly suggest you repay your debts to your parents first so that
when they are old and frail, they won't be penniless! And dun
forget your education fees, pocket money and interest. What's the
prevailing interest rate now?
If you think you are Leslie Cheung, you are NOT. He was famous,
rich and has many fans. I'm sure his family is already well taken
care of.
You need to improve your personal character. Don't be whinny and
annoy your gf. Be positive and interesting to her. She's already so
busy. Show her support and dun drag her down. She needs you more
than you need her.
Prove yourself to your family and friends. Not escape. You to
explore your potential, find ways to it and not resigned from it
because no one helps you. Why should anyone help a negative, dimwit
person anyway? Understand not yourself but people around you. Dun
be selfish. I know you are too young (and maybe immature) to
understand this but it takes time. That's life.
I dunno. When I was 15, I was busy with school works, cute girls,
basketballs, cute girls, impressing my teachers, cute girls,
etc...what about you?? If don't have a CCA, dun need to join
suicide club too. Unless, you wanna escape from NS la, then that's
a different story altogether.
Get a life la. We are fierce but you have our support!
Gampai.
