i think i am too narrow minded

sEphIrOth SG

how?

i see in this forum the people all have troubles but i seem to have a nice partner while i keep planting sad and bad thoughts in my mind to keep me occupied.

i always am worried and paranoid, so how to change this? as in, what should my mindset be? how can i make myself change towards looking at the bright side?

FireIce SG

every morning, right after u wake up (and sober), u chant to urself
"im happy today, im happy today, im happy today"

dun laff ok. it works one hor!

sEphIrOth SG

cannot. even people assure me everything is fine, i still will worry.
i can say i am happy, but an external locust will not control how i feel as the controlability of my thoughts come from within.

^tamago^ SG

to be prepared for the worst is a good time, just dun overdo it and definitely dun need to keep it in ur mind all the time.

FireIce SG

it's good to worry
better than bochup

sEphIrOth SG

i can prepare for the worst. i have imagery and self talk to prepare myself.

but i need to stop. everything has an extreme end. i do worry alot but i wish i could place my efforts elsewhere rather than worrying over mundane or worthless things.

de_middle SG

anxieties, learn to cope with them. I'm also dealing with them myself, learn to appreciate the things that you have & cast away negative thoughts....many a times its easier said than done, there's no full proof remedy...ur not alone in this, dun make others suffer becoz of things that may not necessarily happen.

^tamago^ SG

good mah, u noe what u're doing. only u can control ur thoughts.

sEphIrOth SG

im taking psychology in school and i know about anxiety. but what i am experiencing, could be due to a lack of external factors contributing to excessive 'bad thoughts' filling up my mind.

what do you guys say?

^tamago^ SG

ask ur lecturer.

sEphIrOth SG

cannot. she very ngeow one... she is scary, she reads peoples' minds Crying or Very sad

de_middle SG

yes, u tend to speculate by thinking far ahead....finding asnswers even before it happens. I am very much like you & i'm trying to cast that away coz things dun necessary happen. Why set fire to something that was perfectly fine Question

^tamago^ SG

doesn't matter, we don't understand what psychology terms u're talking either.

anyway if u prefer to sit there and keep thinking and worry about this and that, i guess it can't be help. u'll be a person full of hesitation, nothing will be done and i will see no point talking to u since u're totally self-engrossed. good luck.

Isis SG

This sad thought.. it is based on attachment to past bad memories?

One of the fastest way to make yourself happy is to make others happy. Give money to charity, volunteer your time for free, give etc.. U can start by appreciating your loved ones around you.

sEphIrOth SG

im not hesitant, just that i feel something to do with the cognitive part which has to change. i am very up to date with the society but i am not void of my own thoughts.

its just, other than activities to keep one occupied, what are the other methods?

queen0ftiara SG

just always pick urself up when u're down lorh
all i do is "I WONT LET EVIL PEOPLE BRING ME DOWN! BE STRONG!"
then i laugh . altho i dunno why lah. =.=
But, have courage n tel urself u believe in urself n ur whoever.
force urself to be on ther bright lorh. bo bian.

ghimpheng SG

it sound funny doh but not going to try that anyway lol Laughing

no wonder FI everyday so happy until come to SGF

AndrewPKYap SG

Learn psychology of happiness. Buddhism supposedly teach people to be happy but you have to be careful because there are many cults that claims to be Buddhists and instead of teaching people how to be happy, what they teach brings people misery. Christianity, happiness by Faith and you have to be careful too because the line between Faith and delusion is very thin and I would say, non existing, that there is no line.

So all in all, I think Scientific psychology of happiness is still more reliable.

jojobeach SG

Does your psychology studies teach you how to " Let go"?

The reason why you are so paranoid is because you are too attached to the things/person, therefore you are afraid to lose it.

Once you accept the fact that all things must come to an end.
Then you are mentally prepared for the worst, and you will cherish the present.

Your partner will not live forever, neither will you.
Let the limited/short times you have with each other be a happy one.

the Bear SG

there is a difference between preparing for the worst and waiting for the worst to happen...

it is like fishy said, the mantra is "i will be happy, i will be happy"

happiness is a choice.. choose to be happy...

logically, there are only 2 types of problems in the world:

1 - things you can do something about
2 - things you cannot do anything about

for 1, go do something about it.. seems that you can.. so go do it.. do your best.. and there's nothing to worry about...

for 2, no matter what, you still can't do anything about it.. so there's also nothing to worry about..

anyway, you're not narrow-minded.. you're just pessimistic..

just think: man.. it could have been really much worse!! thank Goodness i'm well! and think about it.. be thankful...

look on the wonderful things you have instead of the things you don't have...

be well Smile