men men bu le

walesa SG

I second that in red, actually. Petti, have you actually conveyed your thoughts to your beau (by that, I mean telling him explicitly how you feel, not dropping subtle hints)? If not, I don't think you could even pin the blame on him if you expected him to be a mind-reader...

Zarks SG

mayb TS's bf already promised his fren to go Thailand 1st?or wat?

Sigh,, why dont u talk to him bout this.. just tell him how u feel... if you kept it inside.. u wont b happy and might not know the truth...

sigh, thats y i love single life.. for now..

petti SG

Yes, i told him explicitly. but he told me going to pray is important for his career and i cant join since it is tiring and all-men trip.

When a man uses career as a reason, it leaves the woman very little room to say no, isnt it?

jojobeach SG

double post

jojobeach SG

We can all understand the career part.
You don't have a career issit ?
You cannot go and pray for your own career ? Why so one sided ?

But, why is the trip so tiring ?
To get to the temple.....
Do they need to climb a mountain ? Trek the forest ?
I mean , c'mon, we've all been to Thailand.
That place no matter what is still a tourist place.
How tiring can it get ?

Did you send him off at the airport ?
How sure are you that there is really no other girls accompany the other guys ?

Yes, you can still say no, next time he wants to go pray. Tell him he can go outside your holiday period.

Sometimes it is darn frustrating to know your man thinks you are just all boobs and no brains

petti SG

actually i suggested that since going to temple is so tiring, i can go shopping (i am very familiar with bkk and know how to get around) while they go praying, and only meet them up after the temple trips at night. he said it wont be convenient since no girls going. he said he must go this time as it will take a long time to 'make appointment' with the monk(i think) but his friends always go, so got contact to make such last minute arrangement.

i did not send him at airport, but i believe him when he said there is no other girl that went.

jojobeach SG

Then I suggest you go "welcome" him at the airport.
You know his flight details right ?

Seeing is better than believing.

petti SG

i choose to trust him on that.

jojobeach SG

Since his friends can make such last minute arrangements ..... means they can go ANYTIME.
What kind of stupid excuse he's giving... and you actually believe him?

Girl, your man is smoking you left and right.

jojobeach SG

No wonder your guy treats you this way.

Because you'd belive all his bull anyway, all he has to do is give stupid excuse.
No question ask policy.

Gotta keep your man on his toes sometime.

petti SG

In a relationship, through understanding, we build trust. On my understanding of him, i trust that he wont lie to me on such factual things.

i am a skeptical person, and i dont trust people just like that. i know him for 2 years before we are together. he has a good track record of not being a cheat. In fact, he is a direct and outright guy. I see not reason to doubt him. i choose to trust him, and it is not blind trust

jojobeach SG

That's good.
You know him better than anyone of us here.

Well, then if this is the case.
I suppose all you need to do is know when and how to negotiate with him about this issue that has been bugging you.

You and I know well that in a relationship, everything is about compromising.

Then there is no longer any need for you to feel unhappy about this anymore. Right ?
After all, you did allow him to leave you out of this.

Isis SG

Maybe he needs some time off to hang out with his friends.
And his friends, all guy, all said don't bring their gf to bkk, so
naturally, he will tell you that you not to go...

But I don't understand what is ur bf's priority....

walesa SG

In that case, then there isn't much you could do that hasn't already been suggested. Either way, you really shouldn't be unhappy if you can live with his "reasons" since you place so much faith and trust in him.

petti SG

Like i said it earlier, and i shall say it again, the question is never about trust.

the question is where do i stand in his heart when he knew that i have been dying for a holiday, if i miss this opportunity, i cant do it until next year, yet when i first asked him, he said he was busy but could join his friends for praying. knowing that i am really upset about it despite i did not kick up a fuss (he saw me tearing telling my fren once), why is he turning a blind eye to my unhappiness?

Where do i stand?

Zarks SG

oh, then i have nothing to say.. settle yourself this prob . time wil tell. mayb hes just duno wat to do when he saw u that way

jojobeach SG

petti girl, don't get so upset.

Would you have been so upset if he had scheduled the prayer trip during time when you are not having off track time ? Like when you are not having your holiday ?

You are upset also because he left you high and dry, making such short notice trip away from you.
If he had told you way in advance and you could have plan something else for yourself, perhaps you will not be upset ?

It's not that you are not important.. I think you can avoid this kind of situation again during your next mid year vacation, but you gotta talk to him and let him know.

Juggling two person's schedule is always a challenge.
For myself, my partner has access to my annual calender and I have access to his. We update each other's calender when there are important dates to remember.

Sometimes men can be so thick headed. But that's how they are, gotta take the good with the bad.

And always remember, communication is key to any good relationship.

petti SG

Yes, guess if his away is not during my vacation, things would be much better. And if he had told me in advance (despite impossible, cos his trip is such a last minute one), i will be in europe now.

Guardx SG

The answer is you do not stand a place in his heart
Your problem is that you love him more than he loves you and you are willing to think that you trust him so much.

If he cares about you he will take good care of you instead of leaving you behind.

Is up to you since you are the one who will be suffering from it not us.

some small advice.

Since such a small thing like bringing you to a holiday he also hack care. What do you think when you 2 get married?

jojobeach SG

Well, perhaps that is how he keeps you planted to the ground instead of flying off elsewhere without him. By giving you last minute plans, he know you can't go anywhere other than stay put and wait for him.

Just let him know for his next prayer trip, he will have to schedule it in advance, and not be during your vacation time.

After this incident, and after you have voiced out your thoughts and requests, if he still remains so thick headed, then perhaps it is really time you question your standing in his heart.

This is perhaps a small little hiccups in your relationship. Let it pass.
(unless he's been doing this kinda crap many times before)

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