old man at work

ordinaryguy32 SG

Originally posted by jojobeach:
JD,

Don't let age, color and gender intimidate you.

No doubt, you have to respect his experience in his field of work.
But remember, he is merely human.
He eats, poops, sleep, farts , snort like you and I do.

You have a self imposed barrier that must be overcome before you can step out with confidence and be at ease with yourself.

Don't hold your breath for him to fulfill his promises.
In a man's world, promises are made to be broken.
Promises are merely a matter of convenience.

Sometimes, in the real world, the ends justifies the means.

He's friendly with you now, because he needs to. Not that he really wants to anyway.

Get your way, YOUR way. Never rely on others to get what you need.

I don't agree on that. Because of that kind of thinking, the human civilization has had countless, justifiable in the eyes of the perpetuators, wars on the surface of the Earth.

But then, lots of people have done so in moments of weaknesses.

In the book Emotional Intelligence, it was mentioned that 90% of criminals, murderers and others, thought that they did the "right thing".

The upside is that most eastern and western philosophies and religions basically say the same thing regarding this:

Do to others what you want others to do unto you.
Don't do to others what you wish not others to do to you.

jojobeach SG

No harm disagreeing.

JD ain't no criminal, and definitely no terrorist.

True, that so many has done so in moments of weakness. And so has many to achieve greatness.

It is common to hear what one must not do unto others.
And what about, when others do unto you what you will not do unto others ?

ordinaryguy32 SG

Thank you.

In JD's context, I wouldn't recommend her treading on Mr N's toes deliberately, like the latter did to her.

But I agree that self defence is important, and that the line between a defensive measure and an offensive measure is very thin.

Like you say, JD needs to stand up to Mr. N's nonsense, as much as she possibly could, to win in her own right. And she has every right to celebrate his hopefully eventual demise.

It takes someone of the make of Jesus Christ to forgive those who nailed him on the cross. But such people are very rare. I am not one of them, and it would be unreasonable of me to expect that of people around me.

Master -_- SG

Don't let him step over your head. Sometimes, u need to cross the protocol to get your point clear. Take notes of physical contact (any kind) with him. Furnish it clearly with dates and location. If he pepper you with abuse, take note of it also. Any time u step on his tail, apologise to him and if he pursues that matter, you go girl..HHNFLAWS Laughing

jackdaniels SG

Dear jojo and ordinary,

Everything human is pathetic - Mark Twain

Thanks for the advice given. I should be growing some testicles since I've decided to major in a field filled with these people. I've met nasty male colleagues before, but their nastiness was always justified (one way or the other). I cannot figure out the root of my conflict with Mr N, hence my frustration. My frustration stems from having reviewed my work and realizing I did not have a good shot to show for. It is not entirely his bad attitude. It is his bad attitude and him getting in the way of my work.

My point being, it is an important project. I showed up for work. I realized I hadn't captured what I desired. I asked Mr N for a possibilities of a set up. He promised me one. He didn't deliver. He dismissed the entire set up. By end of the work day, he had the nerve to congratulate me for having accomplished my "winning shot." You get his double entendre. He knew I had nothing to show for. Somebody stuffed a smelly sock and I had to swallow. You get the drift. He is not some stupid old fool who gets a kick out of screaming at women. He is mental. And has since devised an effective method to get at me. I don't know what kick he gets out of this. I just want to do my work and get out of this. I just want to wiggle my way out of this without any drama.

I have no time to devise new methods against him neither do I care whether he is doing a good job or not. It is none of my business and I'm not pounding the war drum. Leave the gun in the drawer because there is no pot to be found.

Alright thanks guys for the advice. I think jojo is right about me having to stand up for myself though. Not trying excessively hard to come across as a nice person, but I've gotten into a lot of needless trouble before. Am much more wary about being forthright these days because I have a job I feel fulfilled in. It's not any other crap job like it was before. Things have changed.

jojobeach SG

JD,

Be careful where you grow those testicles.
Don't want to look too obscene, ya ?

Perhaps at the top left and right of your head might be cute.
You know, the Mickey Mousey look ? Laughing

jackdaniels SG

Frankly, I don't really care even if you ingest me with hypothermia now.

I already look obscene when I work as well.

I can go on and on but will let it ride because I don't deal with estrogen very well.

Turkey after this. At least it's something to smile about.

Close the thread please thanks.

RedizAlertz SG

Dear JD,

I can almost understand ur situation. I too, had similiar incident a yr and a half ago. Similarity, he is oso a senior who happened to b a mgr to where i work. We happen to hold the same position, but as i was new to the area, i remain humble.

I did not know when, where or how did i get on his nerve..everything i do, he snapped at me, even to the extend of in front of my staff. I took in all in with stride...not wantin to create any scene nor makin him looked ugly. Until one fine morning, he failed or I shld say, missed, doin his job properly..As a proper procedure, I hav to write in our communication book & i swear, i did not make it sound like it was HIS fault, in fact, i din even bother to know who was the mgr-in-charge the previous nite. In my opinion, if work is not properly done, i wll go to the supervisor, who will in turn, make sure the staff will not b makin the same mistake again.

The mgr, read the coms book & called upon me to have a seat..There, he ranted on & on & his voice was gettin louder..Again, i sat there, respectfully listened to him, but was gettin intolerable..I held onto my tears. I hav staff around, it was not right to cry..Then he got personal. I cldnt take it any more, so i asked him if he was done, i din even bother to wait for his ans, i walked off.

I hide inside the toilet & released all. It was after some time tat he peak into the toilet (common),saw me crying, showed little signs of uneasiness. But he still ranted on (WTF!? I juz needed b left alone!)..in the ranting, i got the msg tat he din want this matter to blown up, juz to settle among us. (note: he din want our head mgr to know abt tis). & I din. From then onwards, he was kinder towards me..

I know urs might b slightly serious case than mine..but in my opinion, even if the other party is takin it personal, we shld try not to let tat gets into us. Instead, let's try to understand their situation..We are so much younger & energetic + opportunities in advancement is definately greater than the seniors/elders collegues in our area..It's onli natural tat thy feel threatened, & thus we get their harsh treatments..It's their way of hiding their insecurities..

JD, tilt ur head to one side & look at the senerios again..u might discover new things. All the best! ^^v

storywolf SG

Easy - try what my friend did - sudden he just stand up in the middle and shout.

"Please can we have no more shouting at each other, it it causing me stress ... I am human - need some care and love, please kindly do not stress me !!!"

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