I feel like a hypocrite

last SG · 2007-08-27T16:56:38+00:00

I appreciate your analysis and you have really spoken thru my mind.I know the sticky situation I was in and I have no idea what is the most ethical answer ....

silly&dumb SG

the end—

XenStar SG

hi silly&dumb, there will always come a time where your relationship between you and your boyfriend is put to the test. now is the time. you must never forget the promises you made to each other when you both first started holding hands or when he looked you in the eyes and promised to look after you forever. sometimes, we end up having feelings for other people, but it might not turn out to be love afterall, but just temporarly infatuation. if you really love your boyfriend, then tell yourself that and everything will be fine, and i'm sure your colleague will understand as well. just don't let your decision be made upon haste, as that would be the worst form of judgement.

remember, if in doubt, stop and ask yourself, who do you really have feelings for? the guy who has stood by you for so long, selflessly caring for you, or a person you have just met not too long ago. it might not be worth jeopardizing your relationship over someone whom you aren't even sure of.

dumbdumb! SG

hmm.. u’re not in the fault if ur feelings are aroused. its natural. but it would be ur fault if u act upon ur feelings.

TinySue SG

It can be lonely in a foreign land with no friends or love ones around especially those lonely unbearable nights. Not surprising if you develop an affection for another. Good news is you know it was just an infatuation. Try and make more friends if you can or join a health club so you have a place to head to for a good workout after work or maybe look up if there are any of your fellow countrymen working in that country or not. If they are then you can join them instead of directing your energy on your colleague. Guess your feelings for your bf is really being tested now and it’s up to you to try and resist this temtptation to stray.

SingaporeMacross SG

The past will always be back to bite you in the future if you make a mistake now. Act sensibly.

kiseki SG

ispyyy SG

nah... it is not hypocrite lah...
It is normal for one to feel these way...
But watever yr decision will be , dont regret it...

dokono SG

There's one thread that talks about sincerity.

Are you sincere in keeping your promises to your boyfriend ?

The fact that you could not give a firm answer to that colleague of yours shows how much love and promise you have for your boyfriend. It's just paying lip service for all the empty talk.

I hope there's no sexual affair between the two of you. If so, I really pity your boyfriend. If you do not like him anymore, I suggest it's better for you not to waste his time.

doko

nanren4ever SG

From the moment you told this colleague you not sure if u have bf, u have cheated on your bf already.

Imagine telling ur bf that u want to view this 2 years as a test, and u urself had succumbed to temptation. All I can say is that u must think carefully now before making the next move.

bkbatboy SG

Rock^Star SG

Throughout our lives, it is normal to have affection for the opposite gender (other than your other half).

The key is: How do you handle it?

1) If one has a serious relationship problem with the other half, then perhaps it is time to move on.

2) If one is happily in love with other half but also fancies another person, then he or she should think with the brain, not the heart.

You can either:

- give up all fantasies OR

- be unfaithful to your bf

If you choose the latter option, then there is something fundamentally wrong with your values, perhaps through no fault of yours. And in this case, you do not deserve your bf at all. Leave him for his own good then.

If you still love your bf, there's no reason to have a fling. Stay faithful or live to regret it for the rest of your life.

My $0.02 worth...

silly&dumb SG

hmm i know. there seems to be an unspoken prob btw me n my bf. but i duno wad to do.. i have no idea wad the prob is. just tat both of us are equally unenthusiastic .

i have no intention to cheat on him seriously. but i seem to enjoy the company of this colleague and wan to know him better. is that wrong?

silly&dumb SG

Thank you Tiny Sue . u r right. It is really a test for me. And now i am having doubts about my current Relationship.

Even if this "colleague" did not appear, I am also not sure if we wil be tog in future... wad shld i do...

de_middle SG

how sweet Very Happy best piece of advice for the tempted

de_middle SG

i'm sorry but i find this an excuse.

Zarks SG

whats that ? A joke ? Find out wats the prob ?

Zarks SG

FOr red:Seems to me u dont really love your bf ?

For Green: Pessimistic? Insecure how u both going to stay or just dont believe him ? .. or maybe you dont believe yourself ?

Zarks SG

Normally, of what i know.. if you dont really love your bf and trusted him and expected him to trust you.. i suggest you end your LD r/s.

Be practical like what other ppl said.. Ppl say its tough for LD r/s but depends who say it and depends how much of love worth it

I personally still think you dont love your bf as much as you think you do..

If you do, u wont think twice to say you're MAYBE avaiable or not .. Thats a big mistake..

Looks like you are potential of betraying your bf with excuses of loneliness in other country.. Maybe.. mayb not.. who knows.. but in your condition now..u dont even know wat is infatuation, so stop kidding already bout your so-called infatuation.. What a bull !

SpeedStar SG

mmm....I think I have seen this problem from somewhere before. Anyway its common to have confusion in LDR cos lack of physical affection. To maintain the relationship will depend how the couple have to work it out. As some other have point out, mix with more colleague to dilute the feeling towards ur colleague so as to prevent from the awkwardness. Time will fade the feelings if u are firm enough.

Just curious what ur yunhaier reply?? Haha Laughing
Anyway all the best to TS. Wink

silly&dumb SG

thank you for your harsh feedback and I do appreciate it. Suddenly you make me realised that this seems like a VERY Big mistake and 100% betrayal.

It is indeed difficult to maintain a LD relationship and not seeing each other for a year (since we last met) and I admit that the love is not as strong as before. But I cannot decide if it it just right to end it Now? Like.. Right Now? when I myself duno wad is happening.