I feel like a hypocrite

SpeedStar SG

Settle ur current relationship before u try another one. This is the best advice I can think of....

silly&dumb SG

Erm.. End my current r/s for my crush?

bbmars SG

Can understand how you feel. Afterall, I was once away for 2yrs studying while my wife is back in SG working. That feeling ...is no fun.. and same case, there was some problem after I left.... we hardly talk and just kept to ourself.. that made it even worse.

Suddenly, there is no one for you and you have to fend for yourself in a strange land. In fact, I was free to do anything I wanted except time to go home. only got to chat with each other online anf that was in open forum where everybody was reading your post.. mostly about house, family, but nothing about ourself.. merely 30 min the most, most time 10min... long story after that.... but long distance really a test of each other's faith and real LOVE?

You really have to ask yourself. If without this posting, will you still have the same feeling with yr b/f? would the same thing happen when another guy comes by? Probably only you can answer that. If you are really not for each other, it will still happen and this working in foriegn country merely hasten the pace of the happening. Talk to your b/f, may chat online and find out how each other's doing.... there is this thing as video chat. If I can chat my my vendor in India, why not you?

Zarks SG

Look, maybe the love is not strong anymore , did u both always communicate ? or something bad just happened to him that he didnt wish you to know bout it ? Take more time to communicate with him..

As for the guy u thk have infatuation, just be friends 1st.. u 'll never know some1's true colour if you understand the person's lie.. Mayb hes cute, thats ok.. but control ur emotion... Do not trust anyone including that guy.. just remember this... Never judge ppl by their apperance.

And for your bf, right now, if you think something wrong, its either you or him to find out.. cmon man, its your r/s, anything u felt wrong just ask him or tell him... dun hide.. remember , u and him are already so far away, any need to hide anything ? Just tell him watever you don feel right, at least he knows bout it after you tell.

If you n him really hard to be together ,then let time tells,.. For the guy, relax, just be friends 1st.. dun rush on things like this.. just becareful cuz you're alone there.. u need to be smart and alert with the ppl around u there.. care of some1 out there to backstab you whenever possible.. Not im being pessimistic but this is the real world.. Always stay alert.. That guy is not your no.1 priority... remember..

silly&dumb SG

Thank you bbmars. I think I feel the same as you then. But I am not trying to rush into a Next r/s. I just met this someone whom I took a liking and would like to know better and hang out with. Definately a R/S is not possible , this i Know.

I am not sure if he likes me coz I nver try to find out or what. But I realised that I tried to be evasive with regards to questions about my bf, like resorting to lie. And suddenly, I seem to forget to think about my bf .

Yunhaier SG

Sia la... I thought I had posted my reply on Sunday. Din know it didn't survive through the lag.

***

LDR is not just any other test - it's a high risk gamble with regards to blind faith without physical presence; like believing in God without seeing God's avatar in person.

One truth is that not many can handle the implication of absolute freedom because when we are so dazzled by this fresh breath of freedom, we realised that we have so much powers on hand that we can do anything we want without being caught (or at least the accountability can be concealed).

Right now, it's so possible for you to cheat on your bf without his knowledge, fool around for a good two years and after you had your fun, you could go back to your boyfriend in Singapore and treat everything that took place as surreal (unless your conscience hinders you in any ways). Of course, by then, if you reckon that you loves his man better, you are also free to dump the guy in Singapore and continue this relationship.

A best of both worlds isn't it?

You are facing a factor most commonly attributed to the failures of LDRs - when you realised that you have new considerations. Imho, the lack of your bf's presence might have contributed to your initiatives, but nevertheless, when you talk about test, this is after all your 'examination question', therefore your dilemma is anticipated and isn't random.

You are not a hypocrite; you are just emotionally confused because this man wanted to check your on current 'status' and you felt that if you were to be truthful, it might eliminate whatever possibilities it could have been - whatever the possibilities your subconscious mind quietly desired.

Take it easy first. Yes, you might have felt something different in this man; but it's too early to decide on anything. It could be a product of your emotional needs not tendered while slogging overseas - seriously, you will never know. My suggestion is to be truthful with yourself, your circumstances and take it one at the time; making dubious replies will make you appear evasive.
Please allow time to give you some directions. Idea

Cheers

TheGoodEarth SG

aah, didn't you here this: absence makes the heart goes wandering ... wandering to a new love!

silly&dumb SG

I appreciate your analysis and you have really spoken thru my mind.I know the sticky situation I was in and I have no idea what is the most ethical answer . I know I have acted evasive and dumb- struck and perhaps he did not mean anything more than that.

Okie I know what to do now. I shld stop this feeliing from further development.

Thank you...

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