I really think you need to be persistent to resolve the issue.
You said after few months things went back the old ways. That's
what happen to me before and I had reminded my wife about it. Over
time,things got out of hands and I had remanded her and told her
off about what we discussed about. Sometimes, it was my fault, but
more often, she was of 2 minds and hoping that I could do
everything for her, she just sit back and relax. Ended up, always
grumbling.
Why Husband always think its wife fault whenever there is a
quarrel? True and not true. My case, especially during our early
yrs in marriage. I had promised certain things before marraige and
I am still fulfilling that promise till now. But for my wife, she
really needs time to adjust to changes and aloing the way, often
complain this and that......
Often when we quarrel, hse always said I win the arguement and she
could not rebute a single thing I said about her... I said it seems
that way, but sometimes, what she said was right, just that in the
heat of arguement, she lost her poised. But I actually reflected
upon it. Making matter worse, she often describe and item, e.g. A
but tells me its B. So given that, how on earth can we talk? It was
untill much later when my 1swt child grew oldewr and told her the
same thing then did she realised the problem.
Of course, we had hardly any quarrel nowadays, except when she
throw temper, hte children will also get it for nothing. ANy
overdone by her, she will get remanded by me. Often then not, I
will just keep quiet or tell her at night before we sleep.
Regarding husband and wife stuff doing things at home. She came
from a background where her mum does everything for her. While I
grew up where I had to fend for myself for almost everything. like
sewing my torn clothes as a small little boy, cooking marketing,
caring for my granny, babysitting, etc.. almsot all house chores...
cleaning, sweeping, mopping, washing,... etc..
THat's the promise I made to her, take care of her. I still do but
lesser extent as I do have much time to cook in the morning before
going to work. My daughter's morning preparation has "eaten" into
my time. Wake up in the middle of the night to tend to my children
when they were sick, pee, cry, milk, diaper, etc....
Since the beginning of this yr, things had changed, now hardly cook
before I leave for office. Not forgetting Sending my 1st & 2nd
child to school on bicycle leaving the 3rd one sleeping at home
with my wife looking after. We used to wake her up and bring her
along as my wife send the 2nd one to school while I send the eldest
to her school. There were some arguement initially over this as my
wife refused to change her way because I find it hard for the 3rd
child waking up early in the morning simply because my wife had to
send the 2nd child to school and no one look after her. And her
health is kind of affected as she became to fall sick easier.
It was after an incident that she realised my suggestion is
workable, but she just refused to understand ... only needs to
leave the house earlier by 5 mins, I can send both of them to
school... now she never said anything at all.
My wife is a full time house wife now, she does the washing tution
the kids. Apart from that, I still handle the children to sleep do
the house bill, plan for holidays, 1st person to wake up, last
person to sleep. On top of that, get the children to visit the
doctor if there is anyh timing clashes with my other kid's
schedule.... many more. I don't find it a hassle, but sometimes, I
still would tell my wife off. WHY, she just take it for granted...
and then... I know from her reaction... she knewn what I was
referring to ... she become "AUTOMATIC"....
