To VampireX,
I have one principle to share :
"It is natural that women need to feel loved, cherished and
pampered by men. It is best that the man whom she loves and is in a
relationship is going to be the guy that gives her the closest
attention."
To restate your problem: You need tender love, but your bf is not
giving enough of it to you. Y seems a good alternative, but like u
said, it's not really about Y.
In some pple (in this forum's) eyes, Y is a bad guy. Well I would
say that each situation is unique. I would say that there are
plenty of guys out there who are similar to Y but unmarried, but
are willing to try to love you the way you want. It's not about
choosing between Y and ur bf. It's really about choosing a man whom
u want . And believe me, you (like everyone else) is entitled to ur
happiness, even if it means leaving ur bf.
How best to resolve ur problem: communicate. tell ur bf about all
ur concerns (maybe u can show him this forum). write a list of his
good and bad points, and ask him to do the same... and discuss each
other's expectations. From ur MRT post, u may sound a little
selfish, and he thinks that's wrong. But maybe his way of
transforming u is hurting and faulting, as opposed to being loving
and patient.
There is a whole world of difference between
"Dear, you should let others out first so that you can get in
easily later" and
"Why do you always not let people out first all the time, don't be
so selfish".
Give him a chance since like u said, you have been together for 5
years and he has his strong points. Tell him ur concerns, and if he
still refuses to address it given countless chances, decide what
you have to do, to seek the love a woman rightly wants.
To the guys out there,
Men who understand the above stated principle go a really long way
to making their ladies the happiest and most fulfilled women in the
world. It took me years to realize this, and years more to learn to
apply this principle. And now I still consider myself an
apprentice.
Men are stewards of their gf/wife's love.
My personal experience to share:
I used to take my wife for granted, doing some of the reprimanding
things VampireX's bf did. And after a while, I realize she is quite
perfect in my eyes but very unhappy. She started to unconsciously
seek attention elsewhere, and believe me, there are many good guys
out there willing to give it to her. I learn to be more humble, and
less judgemental and "principled". Now she's my lovely sexy happy
angel.
