Feeling distanced from class

zeny SG

err bro he just suggested only but you are the one who confirm his guess.
The school must be really bad in order to be name so quickly.

You are looking for someone who is willing to OCCASIONALLY give up some of his stuff just to be a friend in school that is well know for abortions, badstabbing and snobbish people?

Too shocked. Btw if you can find one any normal people inside remember to tell me 4 numbers so i can buy 4D and win first prize.

viopurp SG

haha.
look at the bright side yea?
jc is just a 2-year course.
see? u are already reaching the end of it!

hm seriously, i don't think there's any chances of finding any true friends in jc.
'cause after all, most people are just putting their main focus on A-levels for these 2 years.
the friends whom I'm really close to right now are still my secondary school friends.
my new jc friends and i are on talking terms but not that close to the extent that we will share each other's secrets etc.
just talk about general stuff like school work etc...

kinda boring lah.
but it will be over pretty soon!

and you will be able to start a new phase of life in NS and later, in university! Wink

so yea, don't be so sad lah.
and panadols are definitely not the solution to your problems, alright?
cheer up cheer up!

jojobeach SG

You still don't get it , do you?

You give them cash ? How much longer can they survive on your megre cash ?
1 day ? Perhaps 2 ?

When fate dealt them such a cruel hand.
Have you asked yourself, WHY don't they just end their life ?
They can simply throw themself into moving traffic. And end their pathetic life, right ? And let someone else clean up the mess they made.

WHY did they continue their cruel life ?
Because they want to LIVE.

Now you, you have all sensory and limps , yes ?
YOu want to end your life because nobody pay attention to YOU ?

Let this be known to you.

The more friends I have, the lonelier I get.
WHY.
Because they will never understand me more than I ever will myself.
Because they can rely on me, but I cannot rely on them.
Because I will be there for them, but they will not always be there for me.
SO. I live for myself.

You expect others to return you in kind too ?
Then my suggestion to you is, DON't EVEN START.

YOu want to be a VET ? What's stopping you ?
Your JC combo is not right ? THEN MAKE IT RIGHT IN THE UNI. Stop giving yourself stupid excuses.

the_fallen SG

hmm..

i think i'm in the same category as you..

online, i'm normal...just like anybody else..

but in real life..if i didn't get to know the people from online..than i'll find it hard to get to know the person face-to-face for i'm a introvert--due to some unhappines passed when took away my extrovert nature when i was much younger..

since the start of the 1st post til now, you mention that you always ask if u could eat with them etc.. and didn't have them saying good-bye to u etc..

but for them to say those hi-bye stuff, have you even being their frens?

if it's a no, than of course it's normal for them not to say good-bye or simple greetings right?

when you finish eating, than don't leave quietly..make some noise la..or at least stay back t chat with them etc..see what programs they have during recess or lunch break and join them la...

walesa SG

I think you have to realise having quality friendships surpass having a vast quantity of friendships any day. More importantly, having friendships in vast quantity need not necessarily translate into quality friendships.

As a matter of fact, the picture you painted (about you trying to be nice to accomodate others, etc) hardly augurs well for friendships with a solid foundation to be built. After all, you shouldn't need to try to be somebody or something else to attract friends, should you?

At the end of the day, many of the best friendships in life hardly arise from you consciously going out to solicit them. By that, I am not referring to just friends whom you can hang out with or have a meal/movie with (you might realise this point will become particularly salient as you grow older and eventually step into the workforce). By that, I literally mean those friends who will be there for you when you need them (perhaps, as an example, the following would serve as some qualities which the finest friendships would possess or are capable of withstanding : these people will take you seriously when you call them at 4am for help and would go out of the way to be there for you, friendships that survive stormy rows and arguments; basically, such friendships are those where your friends can live with the differences and your needs rather than the similarities and their needs) and oftentimes, most people - if they were being completely honest - will have very few of such friendships (as a matter of fact, many people I know have no such friends).

I suppose, at this moment, it's just your loneliness getting the better of you and your desire for peer acceptance (which is perfectly understandable) that's pretty much causing the unrest that you're experiencing. As jojobeach has already mentioned (and this is something I concur fully with), an awful lot of people out there (and this is a trend I find especially common amongst women - more so than men, at least) relish and cherish being in the company of their friends, but few would actually find reliable friends whom they could share their darkest secrets with and ultimately, stick together through thick and thin through the various phases of life. At the end of the day, if you're going to have friends just to keep you company for the sake of doing so and ultimately drift apart for whatever reasons (be they work, marriage or other commitments), you're merely getting a companion for a transient phase of your life which is hardly what you would call a true friend, isn't it?

In essence, I don't see how this issue could supercede the importance of your A levels which will undeniably hold a more influential key towards dictating the paths available to you in later life. If I were in your shoes, I'm pretty sure a fleeting moment of peer acceptance isn't going to be worth a lifetime's worth of satisfaction and joy.

the_fallen SG

Originally posted by walesa:
I think you have to realise having quality friendships surpass having a vast quantity of friendships any day. More importantly, having friendships in vast quantity need not necessarily translate into quality friendships.

As a matter of fact, the picture you painted (about you trying to be nice to accomodate others, etc) hardly augurs well for friendships with a solid foundation to be built. After all, you shouldn't need to try to be somebody or something else to attract friends, should you?

At the end of the day, many of the [b]best friendships in life hardly arise from you consciously going out to solicit them. By that, I am not referring to just friends whom you can hang out with or have a meal/movie with (you might realise this point will become particularly salient as you grow older and eventually step into the workforce). By that, I literally mean those friends who will be there for you when you need them (perhaps, as an example, the following would serve as some qualities which the finest friendships would possess or are capable of withstanding : these people will take you seriously when you call them at 4am for help and would go out of the way to be there for you, friendships that survive stormy rows and arguments; basically, such friendships are those where your friends can live with the differences and your needs rather than the similarities and their needs) and oftentimes, most people - if they were being completely honest - will have very few of such friendships (as a matter of fact, many people I know have no such friends).

I suppose, at this moment, it's just your loneliness getting the better of you and your desire for peer acceptance (which is perfectly understandable) that's pretty much causing the unrest that you're experiencing. As jojobeach has already mentioned (and this is something I concur fully with), an awful lot of people out there (and this is a trend I find especially common amongst women - more so than men, at least) relish and cherish being in the company of their friends, but few would actually find reliable friends whom they could share their darkest secrets with and ultimately, stick together through thick and thin through the various phases of life. At the end of the day, if you're going to have friends just to keep you company for the sake of doing so and ultimately drift apart for whatever reasons (be they work, marriage or other commitments), you're merely getting a companion for a transient phase of your life which is hardly what you would call a true friend, isn't it?

In essence, I don't see how this issue could supercede the importance of your A levels which will undeniably hold a more influential key towards dictating the paths available to you in later life. If I were in your shoes, I'm pretty sure a fleeting moment of peer acceptance isn't going to be worth a lifetime's worth of satisfaction and joy.[/b]

a very good post..

but there's a part which i agree to only a certain extent..

the more friends you have, the better, because it helps in the long run..

example if there's a retrenchment wave in Singapore...(or whole asian) does having a few quality frens helps u in finding a job easily or when u have more friends easier?

having more friends means that we can help one another in times whereby there's really a need to work together..

but at normal times, just having a few good frens who will be able to lend u a shoulder or listening you when you need one..

that's what i learnt over the years..

derekcsy SG

Please take time and read what I have to say to you (PlsDunBanMe)

Hmmm... maybe you should see it in another view. It could be possible that they have already formed a clique and decided to disinclude you from their clique. All they do is talk to on another, have fun with one another and go out with one another... often without you in the picture, despite efforts trying to be grouped along with them...

Don't worry bro... It happened to me in Secondary School before... Maybe they feel that you are "too good" or the otherwise to be in their group, so they purposely ignore you though you were just sitting beside them and trying to penetrate into their clique. Sometimes, they disinclude you because you are "too good" for them... because you are being too nice in school, they feel that you are a hypocrite when you are not, and does not want you to join their clique and ruin their bonding. Most of the time, cliques reject those interested from joining is because they feel that they are "way too good" for you... they look down on you and shun you...

They are obviously ignoring you, my suggestion is not to join their clique. Don't waste your efforts, brother! If you are really that nice in school, I suggest you reaching out to the unloved ones in your school - those that are lonely and all by themselves... (other than those whom are hated for something bad they have done.) they truly need a friend! These are the ones who are potential candidates to be your friend for life... Do not call them nerds or anything bad about them, cause they are the ones who truly treasure a friendship and cherishes it. All you need to do is take the first step and be friends with them... thereby having your very own group of friends.

Sorry to break it to you bro... But she does not seem to like you as much as she likes 'the other guy'. She likes that guy... and makes an effort to cause him to sit beside her than letting you sit next to her... You try to get to know her better but she is trying to know that guy better, obviously she is interested in that guy... Sad

I know and understand the pain that youare going through right now, being silently rejected because your beloved has chosen someone else besides you... I gone through the same situation as you... She does not deserve your love, so don't shower her with your love too much since she is not even receiving, do not waste your time and energy thinking about her or approaching her... You are a nice guy, such a girl with such a bad attitude is not worth chasing for... I am sure there are better girls out there... Very Happy

My suggestion is to put this matter at the back of your head, do not think too much about it. Try to sit at a place that is away from her and a place that you cannot see her and concentrate in the lecture... Do not waste your years in JC away... Girls prefer guys who are smarter... Do your best academically and outshine the other guy, prove to others that you are not only a nice guy, but you are someone smart in intellect too!

Wow... we really have a lot in common... Well, you have to take things easy and not think too much... you are in JC so that you can study hard and go to University! I know that it is very frustrating that no matter what you do, your actions are hardly being noticed and people do not often 'open themselves up' to you... It is not wrong being serious or nice... but it is certainly wrong trying to be fun or trying to be someone that you are not - people can detect that you are being very superficial and consider you mad. Be yourself. Be true to your personality... If you feel that people reject you because you are serious, so be it! They are missing out how nice a friend you really are...

In my previous school, I am also like you... not popular in school, silently rejected by my beloved, very hard to make friends despite how nice I am... but I stand by my principles and be the person I truly am! Only when you show the world your true self, despite how serious, how quiet or how nice you are... the world will know that you are not trying to be someone else or being a hypocrite, they will then slowly accept you... After I decided to be true to myself, only then did I start receiving more and more friends who remain true to me until now... Those cliques even the ones I see now, may seem to be very strong in their bonding but they end up going their separate ways as time comes and goes... Do not be too sad over the matter...

Please do not! I say... DO NOT do anything foolish! Shocked You are not being responsible to yourself, your friends and family members if you decide to take your life! Spare your family members and friends from any unnecessary misery! Spare yourself and redeem yourself! Don't let your emotions rule you! Don't behave like this! You are a Man! In life, every one of us face challenges and trials at every intersection in life! What may seem bad now, may turn for the better in future... You have to will yourself to go through this challenge in order to be a better person when you grow up...

STAY STRONG! Life's Lessons may seem very tough and tiresome, but they help shape you today to be a stronger and better person tomorrow... Can't you see? Please do not gobble up 30 panadols at one go... this world is really losing too many good guys already and it cannot afford to lose you! You are not mentally unstable... you are just very depressed and desperate! So I am here to help you, please send your requests to my Mailbox and I will render my time to try and help you out in your situation...

Be true to yourself. Do not do anyhing foolish! Send me a message to my Mailbox when you need my help... before you decide to take your life, you must ask my permission first! Hope you come to your senses. Rolling Eyes

yiha093 SG

few things u can do, but i will only tell u 1,
form a clique or ur own, reach out!
surely theres sum1 who is also like u?
cmon, u have to cre8 happiness? Rolling Eyes Mr. Green Wink

walesa SG

The truth of the matter is, most people will hardly ever have more than a few close friends. While it's easy for many to call just about everyone they're remotely connected with a "friend", it's not hard to understand these friendships vary in degrees of strength.

After all, I'm not talking about acquaintances who might be of use to you at some point later on in life (which is the point you seem to be addressing) - as a matter of fact, I doubt you'd count everyone who recommends you a job (or benefits you in some way directly or otherwise) a close friend, do you? I certainly do not believe everyone who recommends you a job would be patient enough to be there for you when you need them. More importantly, I don't see how quantity will ever supercede quality friendships for how exactly do you keep in touch and spend quality time with 1000 friends as opposed to someone who only has 2-3 close friends?

Nevertheless, I think the chap who started this thread should realise ultimately, you shouldn't need to be somebody else to befriend someone.

tanjun SG

In my opinion, u should concentrate on your studies first. A Levels are really important to your future and career prospects.

Another thing will be try or at least make a conscious effort and talk or say it to your parents be it Dad or Mum abt this problem that you have whoever u are more comfortable to. I believe that they will take their time out, sit down on the table and listen to your problems patiently. They can provide you with advices to tackle with this issue especially A Levels are around the corner. Tell them what you want or anything that they can do for you. I am certainly sure that they will be willing to assist you to tide over this ordeal.
If not, u can confide your problems to one of your siblings. Saying out your problems will definitely make you feel better.

Besides, when you go or NS later after your A levels, you can meet up with more frenz which perhaps one of them can be your close frenzs. Who knows? In NS especially in BMT, we have to do things together. One for All, All for One. When there is a problem with the platoon performance, everyone will make a conscious effort to enhance it. Pkus there are also some activities which tests your ability to lead, teamwork and cooperation of the team during BMT.

Next thing will be dun let the emotions control you. Ultimately, you have the control of your emotions. A half filled cup can be viewed as half empty or half full. Cheer Up and Be happy. Very Happy

FBI SG

i believe the prob lies with your class and not u.

if they don wat to b frends, jus forget it.

PlsDunBanMe SG

Thanks to all who has helped me. Some of you made me realise that I do not really need them after all. I should focus on my As and find friends later on in life. And they are not worth all the panadol taking. Very Happy Thanks to all who has helped me!

Meat Pao SG

Hi....u really hear voices....?

If you hear voices....you should go see a psychiatrist....

It is a symptom of mental illness....

I have read alot about this, because I was a mental illness patient myself. (but not hearing voices).

Meat Pao.

PlsDunBanMe SG

Yes, I do hear voices, but not all the time. It's just when I'm lonely or angry that's all... I hope it'll get better cause I dont want anyone else to think I'm mentally ill. Haha.

ghimpheng SG

hear voices that extreme

you seriously need some friend pal

or indulge yourself into some game and take part in wcg next year Laughing

aiglosicicle SG

from what i can guess you are from an odd combi class?? as far as i know, for odd combi classes stuff like these are normal.

just concentrate on your As lar... like me Laughing

mir4cle SG

jc sucks la. u j2 liaos lea. jus get ur paper and get outta there man. u can do it (:

popikachu SG

Well, i am the same...
Always alone in school...

It just that, you need to talk to them first.
You need to get closer to them first then they will get closer to you...

PlsDunBanMe SG

Haha, but the thing is, I DID try to talk to them, but their responses keep discouraging me so I gave up after a while... Haha, yes I'm taking an odd combi, maybe that's why.

rathcycle SG

kay siao
u so sociable 1 loh

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