Parents in Law living with you

last SG · 2007-06-20T17:37:43+00:00

I was choking when I read some of the replies of the thread on parents... http://sgforums.com/?action=thread_display&thread_id=261985 Then later I came...

ilovethesun SG

I feel sorry for you. I understand exactly how you feel to live with someone so different.

You can choose you husbands, but you cannot choose his family.

Headache isnt it...

tutu2 SG

hi..
actually everyday i see my MIL, i can't help worry for her..she's suffering from mild depression..hence she cant think properly, do work properly..u see her, u will know she's sick but she just refuse to see doc..say waste $$..but wen she buy 4D, she nvr say waste $$$ Sad she alwys has FULL of excuse, saying tired, wait until she's free..she nvr cleans fan, aircon filter..toilet etc..until i start washing, then she says "'oh., i wanted to clean but duno now to open the fan, the toilet i wash 2 weeks ago, u no need to wash".. Rolling Eyes ..i was like toilet shd wash weekly or twice a week cos u use daily! omg..even my hb aso cannot tahan her..i tell hb if got kids i wont want her to take care..cos she cant even take care of herself..she will cope herself in house whole day, when FIL goes market & cook..ask her to join FIL , she will blame that FIL dun want to wait for her Sad ..she will ask FIL buy this, that for her, then ask her go buy herself, she will say 'lazy' ..basically, she blame everybody for everything, i gave up Neutral !

tutu2 SG

today she complain of neckache..bcos last dec she had a fall at home..but refuse to see doc..she kept saying she's fine,.until recently, me aso fall & trip my ankle..but my recover was much faster cos i go tui na Laughing

then she tell my hb she got relapse, neck pain, hand cannot rise..we bot her to see doc once, already gave her the address to go see doc by herself..but she needs somebody to accompany her to go..she says fil refuse to go with her..why she can't go by herself ?!? can someone teach me how to handle her ?? i am at wits end Crying or Very sad ..even my hb aso frustrated with her, sometime i tell my hb, maybe at nite u go sleep in her room to take care of her Laughing

jojobeach SG

Your MIL wants attention.

Since your MIL and FIL not very close.

Your MIL is lonely. It's the "pity me" syndrome.

Since your SIL don't let their children go near your MIL, it probably makes her feel even more worthless.

She needs something to occupy her time.

Why your FIL don't go with her ? I mean, he is her husband.
What does your FIL do ? Is he still working ? Why is he not free to go with her ?

tutu2 SG

hi jojo,

Yesterday she got temple ask abt her neckache iso see doc Shocked

SIL got no kid..even she has she wont let her kid come

Both PIL are not working, FIL & MIL cannot click..cos my MIL walk very slow..he dosent like to go out with her.if they do go out, is like walking 50meters apart..he has crossed the road while she still have not .. Neutral

Teach me who can occupy her time ?
ask her go exercise, she says ''Lazy",
go temple pray, she says ''too far, too crowded" she just dosent wants to do anything ALONE. she just has a billion excusesesss.. Rolling Eyes

dreamykite SG

be friend with other old folks. go void deck and mix with some old folks there. having people to talk to make them happier. she need someone to push her. go nearby temple.

old people always got a square mind, depends alot on the hb, when hb didnt do anything, they will not do anything too. so is best that she has other friend who can give her the kick

jojobeach SG

You have just solved the mystery.
She is lonely, and she wants someone to accompany her to do things.
Maybe she needs to go visit some senior centers to get to know more friends.
If she has friends, they can go out do things together.
Do you read this blog ??
http://laozhabor.blogspot.com/
The author has a friend to go do stuff together.
They are unstoppable... very cute seniors...

Is your FIL strong enough to push a wheelchair ?
If your MIL don't mind sitting in one.. maybe FIL can push her ...kekkeke...
Or maybe a walker might help your MIL get around faster ?

tutu2 SG

she dosent wants to go out, how to make fren? Rolling Eyes

dreamykite SG

watch tv and listen to radio also can occupied time and change her mind.

is it that she only go out if her hb go out, listen only to her hb that kind?

she needs a company,woman mah. maybe a grandson er. Laughing

tutu2 SG

mmm..visist senior citizen centre is nono for her..cos she says these pple 'dirty' duno got wat disease..she has no frens..

i thot this blogspot only for show in Law & order?

haha..wheelchair..she dosent want, she find it disgrace. my FIL propose a NTUC trolley for her to sit inside..

tutu2 SG

ya..as i mention lor..she watches TV whole day long..sit there like a couch..

no..she dosent click w hb..she just need company..i wont dare to let her take care of any baby since she cant even take care of herself

jojobeach SG

Then bring friends to her lah.
Throw senior parties..or have mahjong sessions at your home lor.....
Invite a few seniors... maybe some handsome old man.. your FIL might want to pay more attention to his wifey lah.

tutu2 SG

hi jojo

my life dun revolves around her only leh..
mm..they dun like to interact with others..then they will say ''this one not my house, i cannot invite frens here, i got no house"
they keeping repeating infront of me

tutu2 SG

every morning when we go to work, she will stare blankly at the wall Confused
ask her go down for a walk, she say haben change clothes..u ask her more time, she will hide in the rm and dun come out

choco B SG

This is when it would be really useful to introduce religion into their lives Laughing

tutu - It is frustrating. But some things and people cannot be changed. Perhaps just accept and live with it.

tutu2 SG

hi choco..

thanks, i also understand i cant force her to be like me..but is for her own good..i guess i will hv to live with it..i am just here to vent my frustration.. nothing else lor , cos nobody can help me Cool

tutu2 SG

hi..
hb and i was out of town last few days..left the PIL at home..so far..they survived..but FIL complain abt MIL too..hahaa.. Laughing

the_don SG

Misty n Tutu... after reading your posts n it made me worried abt my own future Shocked

hope things work out for you gals n i salute your resolve to stay in your marriage Smile

tutu2 SG

hi the_don

no worries for me lah, i m just here to vent my frustration, i m lucky that my hb supports me, he is very understanding, we believe time will solve this problem Smile

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