guys in long-term relationship

Daydreamzer SG

hihi all.... if a guy is in a long-term relationship with a girl, say almost 6 years, and yet no hint of getting a house nor concrete plans of getting married/ROM... does tat mean tat the guy is not really keen at all on marrying this gal? Though he gave her reasons that he is not financially stable to start up a family yet, could tat translate to mean this girl ain't the right one... who will help him in his career?

juz kinda wanna get a feel of wat guys tink cos this is one big question tat baffles me for a long long time... juz wanna know if i shd continue to stay in the relationship or leave him so tat he can find his right one soon, to start a family with and one to help him in his career??????

Ferret SG

6 years oledy and he's still delaying ?

Gee. Move on. Neutral

Omniknight SG

boink and go

soulwinner SG

What’s is the guy thinking? indecisive?

mystee SG

1st: if the gal is not the rite one for the guy, y the guy is still holding on to the r/s?

2nd: is the guy's finance allow him to hold a wedding + house (include renovation, furniture, electrical appliances, etc)?

Daydreamzer SG

maybe he cant decide if im the right one for him... :-(

bladez87 SG

kao. depends on age de right? u cant expect a 20 yo guy to marry you if u 2 started dating at 14. Zzz

gigabyte14 SG

indecisive men are ah guas

hisoka SG

depends, how old are you? Laughing

but truth is, alot of guys don't plan so far ahead.

alot don't plan about getting a family etc until they decide to get married. as in just b4 proposal.

of course its not all lah but quite a number.

sunny6110 SG

tis kinda things 3rd party how to comment?

u decide urself la... heart to heart talk wif him. sometimes guys often over look lots of things de leh... u nv remind him or u say nvm he really thot nvm de...

mystee SG

love is not abt money... but marriage is about money..

think abt it in a positive way, he may want to provide u with a house, marry u with a decent wedding dinner, rent/give u a decent wedding gown.

marrying is not just about 2 persons, he has to think of ur family & his family.
traditional family will prefer wedding dinner & will cost quite a sum of money.

i m oso eager to get married, have to dating for 5 yr +, but i will wait till my bf & I have a stable finance.

gigabyte14 SG

gd for u Smile

clueless007 SG

girl, maybe it's not tt he dun wanna marry u, but would it be that he wanna make sure tt he's financially stable enuf, can afford house and wedding b4 he wanna get married?? men are creatures with pride, sometimes he juz wanna give u the best but he juz need more time... love is about caring but has he stopped caring abt u?? u mean if he didnt proposed to u, he stopped caring?

think u shld stand by him ba, maybe hinting him $$ is not tt impt, both of u can work hard tgt as husband and wife for ur future... unless u not willing...

ben1xy SG

I've been with my gf for 7 years. I am 25 coming 26 now. So maybe i can help explain.

Personally, i feel a need to settle all aspects of my life before i ask her to marry me.

I need to make sure i am financially stable,
i need to make sure i got my qualifications,
i need to make sure i can provide for her so that she won't experience hardship,
etc.

We discussed these issues a few times.

From her view: She doesn't need all these things, but she can see where I'm coming from

From mine: I won't be able to look her in the face, or even look myself in the face if i make her suffer with me (i know it sounds egoistical).

This is just a surface discussion on this matter. What you should do is to have a heart-to-heart talk with him

Good luck

ben1xy SG

bullseye

clueless007 hits the issue spot on

Daydreamzer SG

guess i probably have the ans in my heart... juz tat im lookg for third party opinion.... to substantiate the ans i already hv...

anyway, thanks for hearing me rant... to b frank... was quite anxious to know wat a guy feel... cos whenever i proach this subject to my bf, he tries to avoid the question... making me even sadder and helpless... clueless about the direction we're heading for...

Daydreamzer SG

true as it may seems.. if only i hv the time in the world to wait...

ben1xy SG

sometimes we're ashamed to admit that we're not good enough to ask for the girl's hand yet.

In a way it's a form of escapism. However, it's escapism from ourselves and not from the girl

My advise still stands. Have a talk with him. it might get a little uncomfortable, but a little discomfort in exchange for a true understanding of what your other half is thinking is more than worth it

mystee SG

just curious, how old are u? i think i m much older than u... but good thing are worthwhile to wait for..

dont be so dishearted ya, i think u need a heart to heart talk with him, let him know how u feel & let him tell u how he feel.

smudgey SG

if this is your personal problem.

please talk to him.

you'll gain no closer answer with the answers here...

what matters is HIS answers and whether you believe it. how old are the two of you?

do you really think he's delaying or is he really trying to be financially stable before taking the next step?