I really don't get it, all the happy moments spent together, I
made her laugh, she brightened up my days, she made my darkest
moments in life seem worthwhile, no one has ever made me feel this
way. Everything was perfect.
But now, after 4 months of being in heaven, everything just plunged
into sorrow. I made my intentions clear to her. Thinking that since
she made very obvious hints before, it was in the bag for me.
Suprise, suprise, she just treats me as a friend.
Now, I keep telling myself to stay away from her, forget she ever
existed. But she insists very strongly we can still be friends.
However the very thought of me not being with her physically and
emotionally made me cry for hours.
Some stubborn part of my brain is now telling me the remain as
friends with her and that we still have a chance. But I don't want
this blind faith of mine to sell my soul to the devil. Moreover,
she told me last night that she "feels comfortable when she's with
me, but just as a friend". I don't know if this "comfort" can be
cultivated into something more. She also told me that I am a "very
important friend" to her.
After 2 days of knowing the answer I'm emotionally and mentally
drained. Thoughts of us in the past 4 months keep haunting me and
thoughts of me having nothing to do with her anymore just rips me
apart. I keep wondering if I will ever love again.
Now I am in a dilemma. Should I carry on being friends with her to
"try my luck" (I don't know how else to put it) or should I just
forget about her and stop talking to her completely, moving on
while suffering quietly and alone?
