I can relate to you.
It's like the outer you, and the inner you are totally opposites.
Two contradicting entity constantly raging against each other,
seeking to control your mind, throwing your mind in a whirlpool
that never stops spiralling.
You feel tired about life, as if life doesn't matter. You look
behind, you see a long path which you've walked through. But then,
you look forward, and you see this even longer path, ridden with
unknowns, and suddenly you feel tired.
You seek to change your status duo, but in the end, your status duo
changes you. You reject the change, but slowly, your original
intentions get eroded away. As day gets by, you start feeling
smaller, and smaller. As if you aren't worth a thing.
The truth is, people change. Just like the environmental
weathering, we are subjected to "social weathering". Change is
inevitable. Instead of pushing change, welcome it.
Step out of your comfort zone. Do something different; be a light,
instead of a seeker of light. Seek to brighten up the days of
people around you. Charity work?
Bungee jumping? Doing something radical for once helps you to
de-stress, and re-orientate yourself, and get back your bearings.
Of course, radical doesn't mean killing, or harming others.
We often stay too long in our comfort zone, that we start losing
ourselves in it. Step out. Relearn yourself.
