I just broke up with my gf today :(

serene0 SG

Maybe she has her side of the story.
And it usually fills up the missing pieces of your version.

But whatever it is, if one of you can't give in, in a r/s, then forget abt it.
It won't work.

Heartzzz SG

Yup. For sure I am trying to understand girls. I am always reading and finding out more about the female species. I read so many books on Mars and Venus and many other attracting and "playing the game" types of books. I can always tell people how to attract and sianz their admirers, but i always can't seem to help myself. I recently just lost a female friend whom I really liked a lot. The reason? I was too whiny, being like a wussy all the time and demand her attention when she wasn't even my girlfriend. I know all my problems but haiz, just can't avoid it when my heart gets "blinded". I know I can't get her friendship back as i know how girls think. Once they call it quits, it's game over. Thus, i'm now still getting over it. I know I can do it and it will be a matter of time before I start interacting with the opposite sex again. Cheers.

M©+square SG

Laughing

Heartzzz SG

Not at me rite??

dokono SG

Heartzzz

Reading and doing things in real life are two totally different areas. You don't read a book on driving and expect to drive immediately. You need a lot of trial and error to gain experience.

Give yourself time to interact with the opposite sex. You know where you have gone wrong. Just don't make the same mistakes again.

doko

Heartzzz SG

Yeah. Making mistakes are my speciality. Ha. Get what you mean though. I'll be fine. There are many other things in life other than this area which I can work and concentrate on. When i am ready, mentally, physically, and emotionally, then maybe things will turn out better that time.

ghimpheng SG

too demanding the gf perharps

meeting too many time in a single week won't help maintain a relationship long

socrates SG

I don't think you are to be fully blamed for this. I personally hate the part where she purposely set up a test to test your response. What is this ? Who is she to set up tests here and there one ?

It may sounds horrible that you call her lesser and lesser and treat her more and more normal etc, but it is really what most guys do. When you chase her, you give your 2000% from what you will do usually to a close person. When you succeed chasing her, you gradually drop to 100%. She have to face it... honeymoon period is over. Your father may have used up a lot of efforts to chase your mum then, are they as loving as they used to or more loving than you and your girlfriend ? If they are more loving than you and your girlfriend, you deserve a kick up your ass. If they just behave like ordinary father and mother, then it is a clear sign honeymoon period is true. The only thing uncertain is how long it last... some people a year, some people a few months and some people many years... but she have to face it one day and accept u as it is... otherwise it is really time for a break up

molgax SG

wrong time wrong person

Yunhaier SG

MCsqure's laughter is not malicious intend targetting at you.

He's just amused at the influence of how book ideology could make the readers feel that they have discovered something never before and that they reckon they could finally take charge of love which they previously not knew and achieve a fulfilling relationship.

P.S: Always learn to understand individual separately - than trying to judge women as a whole and adopt a biased, selective perception of how women think and behave. Idea

Cheers

dokono SG

I guess you must reach as many as 20, 000 plus post counts to be able to understand MCsquare. Laughing

doko

dokono SG

I have to disagree with you on the last paragraph.

hahaha...they always say every woman is different, this and that. Every woman and man will always say they want to be different, because it helps in their ego.

Granted this is true. Every individual is different. But what they did not say is that, men and women are totally different in every way, biologically and psychologically. Why is it that women understand what women mean but men don't understand them ? Why is it that some girls prefer lesbians?

Clearly, men need more help than women. Women have the power in relationships. They will always want to be the chased. They always want to feel like a princess. Seldom do we see the females choose to be the aggressor. That's the universal rule and I agree with this. It's not about judging females as a whole or whatsoever. True, there are females with different personalities, ranging from pure selfishness to pure selflessness. This also depends on the girl's family upbringing and moral values.

However, there are certain common traits that women display such as some excuses and doing things by their emotions. This is not bashing women. Clearly, women behave much more differently than men as a whole. That's where certain books come in to help explain the differences so men know what to do. Experiences play the most important.

doko

rainee SG

nothing wrong with meeting just once or twice a week wat...i m currently doing dat Laughing meet too many times in a week will also get bored wif each other rite?

Abt the female models' pics, I have long since taken this as a nature of men...as long as it is not pics of his close girlfrens, then I am okie wif it (sumtimes might even help him bio wich one is nice and wich one is not...okie, i m weird in this sense Embarassed )

I think maybe this is an incompatibility issue ba...she is more demanding and maybe clingy, while you are somewhat more laid back in the r/s and don't really understand wat girls want sometimes. And she should let you know what she wants instead of flaring up at you.

So take this as a lesson. In your next r/s, if you sense that your girl is starting to cut off contact wif you, try to ask her out and ask her wats wrong. Communication is key in all r/s. Very Happy

mayday80 SG

seriously the letter thing is a bit cliche…. try to get her out to talk better… if good can kiss and hug and patch back faster also!

past tense SG

Dear MingFreeman,

I hope it will not be too late for you to read this...

Do you love her?
Do you tresure this relationship?
And do you see the future as both of you together?

If you answers for these 3 questions is YES! YES! YES!
Then, I think its time for you to do something.

It takes time and a lot of effort to build up a relationship. 8 months may not seem to be a very long time but it is definitely neither a too short time.

I believed what she had done (to impersonate as a 3rd party), does not cause much harm. Instead of saying she does not trust you at all, why not ask yourself if you have given her any sense of security?
Any woman will not wish to see their second half to meet up with another girl (especially since that particular woman has expressed her liking to you).

Although one is free to get to know another party as long as they are not in a marriage BUT that is the first step towards a broken relationship! Are you in a relationship or a COMMITTED relationship?

If you claimed that you have done your best in giving into the relationship, is there any way you can do it better? Because from what I can see, there is still so much that you can give to her.

There is no tips in improving a relationship.
It depends on how much you love her and willing to sacrifice and change for her.
Changes are not that bad. It will just make you into a more mature and sensitive person.
Good Luck to you!

zheshi SG

She come to your house and u didn't bother to send her home, or even send her to the nearest bus stop. Just pass her and than proceed to close your door?

U seem to in the fault too. I would say this is neglected to her

Yunhaier SG

The irony thing about books is that most people ain't reading it objectively - especially books on love and relationship. Subconsciously, one would selectively picked and decides which point made the most sense to them, in reference to his/her experience, as the book reiterated and reinforced their own perception of love (or the opposite gender).

You will be surprised when woman read something about man and they go 'ya ya ya... it's so true...' but when I mentioned that their boyfriend isn't like that at all, they will be like 'most man la'.

Such phenomenon is widespread.

Do remember that our experience doesn't make up the experience of others because we all have different cosmic lesson. One's experience is not a good representation of entire picture of love, because that's probably an example of ONE lesson taught by love.

P.S: I don't think I would want to go the long and short of this debate again, since we have discussed this the previous round. I respect the fact that if having that belief works well for you, then I am glad to respect it's function in your life because I was taught to understand individual as individual. Probably due to my brush with astrology. Idea

Cheers

spinsugar SG

Pls refer to the words in green.

1 - Girls don't like shui bian. They like to see that u're making an effort - for them. This is one of the top reasons why my girlfriends' ditched their ex-s.

2 - Classic case of mismatched expectations. About your list of things she's not happy about (in green) - Lemme put it this way to help u better understand her.. when a person is really "into" another party, they pay close attention to whatever that person does. They constantly communicate and are interested in the other party's opinions. U don't do that.. and to her that's half-hearted and "shui bian" (see point 1).

3 - Meeting up with other girls 1-on-1 is always tricky.. it means you're still looking and fuels her feelings of inadequacy. Many guys I know won't tolerate their gfs meeting up with other guys 1-to-1, either, without a very good reason (eg for work purposes, business transactions).

4 - "My impression was that...the thing is she didnt tell me. ..." Don't let yourself assume. Ask the questions, communicate. If something needs to be done, take initiative.. don't just let her do all the work. Some girls may deny this but we DO like men who can take charge (without being too overbearing). Otherwise what for get bf?

If you can't be bothered to talk to her and find out more, time to ask yourself if you're really that into her and if u shd carry on with the r/ship. If she's not that "special girl" for you, don't lead her on.. it's not fair for her.

littlefishtan! SG

Yea but everything need to master theory and practical. Like learning piano, cooking...etc.

dibilo SG

Originally posted by spinsugar:

Pls refer to the words in green.

[b]1 - Girls don't like shui bian. They like to see that u're making an effort - for them. This is one of the top reasons why my girlfriends' ditched their ex-s.

2 - Classic case of mismatched expectations. About your list of things she's not happy about (in green) - Lemme put it this way to help u better understand her.. when a person is really "into" another party, they pay close attention to whatever that person does. They constantly communicate and are interested in the other party's opinions. U don't do that.. and to her that's half-hearted and "shui bian" (see point 1).

3 - Meeting up with other girls 1-on-1 is always tricky.. it means you're still looking and fuels her feelings of inadequacy. Many guys I know won't tolerate their gfs meeting up with other guys 1-to-1, either, without a very good reason (eg for work purposes, business transactions).

4 - "My impression was that...the thing is she didnt tell me. ..." Don't let yourself assume. Ask the questions, communicate. If something needs to be done, take initiative.. don't just let her do all the work. Some girls may deny this but we DO like men who can take charge (without being too overbearing). Otherwise what for get bf?

If you can't be bothered to talk to her and find out more, time to ask yourself if you're really that into her and if u shd carry on with the r/ship. If she's not that "special girl" for you, don't lead her on.. it's not fair for her.[/b]

Well said... I think whatever you have pointed out is what most guys are having trouble with. But, asking a guy to do all these may be, well, asking too much. Some how I feel that girls are always expecting this and expecting that whereas guys are more like anything will do. Sometimes, its the high expectations that the girls set for the guys that really stress/ tire them out.

Ok, not all girls are like that and I am not trying to generalise here, but you can't deny that there are girls like that too. So how do you suggest guys deal with girlfriends with lots of demands, in terms of emotional, mental, physical (not physical as in sex but being together always)?

« Previous Page Next Page »