Disappointed and Sad

mitgalant SG

Hi guys,

i am currently in a relationship of 2.8 yrs. recently i had a major quarrel with my gf. Then we stopped contactin one another for like 1 to 2 months. During this standoff, she starts to get independent and starts goin out with her frens.

Meanwhile over at my side, i am tryin my best to see if i really want this relationship. She assured me that she still want this relationship

After much consideration for a month or so, i finally got back to her. We started doin things like goin out, to the beach etc but suddenly, when i ask her, y is she so cold towards me, she replied me that she no longer feel the same in this relationship

She prefers her singlehood now. She is enjoyin herself now. Every friday night clubbin all these.

She does not seems interested in this relationship now.

What can i do to make her come back to me like the past ? I really really love her alot.

Can give me some advises. Thanks

Rock^Star SG

Suggest that u take a break from each other and see whether she calls u. If not, then say bye to the relationship.

If the bird wishes to fly out of the cage, let it.

rainee SG

If she no longer wants to be in the relationship, there is nothing you can do to make her stay...

And I think you have tried your best to salvage the r/s by going out with her and spending more time with her after the cooling off period, but still she said she doesnt feel the same in the r/s...

Think a break up might not be faraway... Neutral

elindra SG

Good luck man. She has discovered that life without you is actually better for her in her own opinion.

I guess the only thing you can do is appeal to her emotional side about the good times you shared together.

Either that or you have to accomodate the new lifestyle and carve a new future together

mitgalant SG

how to make her come back to me ?

is there any other ways to make things work out better ?

how to strike her in the emotional way ?

she told me i am her ideal husbandbut she wants to have fun and might come back to me after all the fun, but i dun wan that to happened.

rainee SG

have a talk with her? ask her where she wants this r/s to go, whether she still wants to keep it or not...

If she doesnt want to, then you cant stop her from leaving...her heart is already not with you...prolonging the r/s when one's heart is already not there will only cause pain and torture to both parties...

Better to release her early so that both of you can go and find a new path to happiness...

mitgalant SG

she juz told me that "she duno what she really want"

she told me " how she wish to have some fun and come back to me next time again"

haiz. i really dun wanna lose her. yet this is all happenin.

I am feelin very down and i am facin a very lack of confidence problem now.

xuexue SG

Time will tell........

rainee SG

hmm...i tink she got problem of committing to the relationship...ask her how long will she take before she returns to you? Are you willing to wait for her? And what if she meets someone else whom she thinks is more exciting and goes into a r/s with him?

Basically she wants to have her cake and eat it too Confused

Rock^Star SG

U r at ur weakest now, so the only advice u wanna listen to is, "How can i get her back?"

Problem is, there such an advice in your situation? Get a grip on yourself first, then u can see clearly and judge better. U r thinking of all ways and means to salvage it but any action from there may make things worse. Sometimes, it's just gd to take a step back and watch first.

dokono SG

Can you tell us what is the major quarrel about? Were you wrong? If so, quickly apologise. But I tell you, it might be too late.

You know how I know? Her feelings towards you are very low when she said she can't feel the same and worse, she rather be single facing the wall than look at your handsome face. It means she is very turned off by whatever actions you did to her. It 's not she prefers singlehood, rather she doesn't want to be attached to you. That's what counts.

You can't make her return to you. It's very low. When a woman has loses her feelings for you, she will never love you like before again.

Suggest you back off and see if she will still contact you. If not, it's sayonara. One more thing, don't be fooled by her saying she might still come back to the r/s. That's a contradiction to what she is saying. She prefers singlehood and still wants you as husband? That's doublespeak.

doko

elindra SG

I think she is saying that she will come back to you to make you feel better as there is something called ‘false hope’

Devil1976 SG

You didn't contact her within that 1-2 months' break?

Personally.. I feel that the least you can do for her now is to give her some room and space?

Are you too controlling and possessive over her?

smudgey SG

why not you let her enjoy her single-hood first...

if in the end she comes back to you, then she's yours.... but do not hope too much....

if she wants out there's not much u can do.... h

smudgey SG

talk with her?

try to strike a balance.... eg. friday night is her clubbing night...

try and find a common ground...

smudgey SG

i agree with rainee...

ask yourself, do you love her enough to wait for her?

bewarned... she might meet guys that may ultimately win her heart.... then where will you stand?

BUT if you love her enough to take that risk, then wait. but meanwhile learn to love life more so as if she does leave for good, you will be able to move on

Gedanken SG

Hmm – she said she wants to go out and have fun. One interpretation of that is that you’re no fun. On the other hand, she could have an odd definition of what fun is – do you have any idea what it is?

thinger SG

my bum is itchy.

i vote that you forget her, go out, and have yourself a fun time!

smudgey SG

to me, she wants to play with no guilt, and by that i mean get to know guys, flirt, have fun and have the freedom of a single gal.

darknessfall SG

well, i think you can look to the future in finding a new partner liao...
if she really says that she doesnt feel the same in this r/s, and that you can feel her coldness, i think its a clear ans to you to give up...

unless she feels for you again, if not, we are sorry dude...