Your
inevitable exchange with such jerks is a result of your gnawing
inferiority living unconsciously inside of you. You may appear (and
probably is) to be verdant, raw and innocent in this game of Love,
but that the unexplainable brush of fate with these jerks is
largely due to your inherent nature of loving the melancholy side
of love relationship.
Your style of writing and the outlook of your blog betrayed this
very fact.
Your lived very much in this drudgery sea of delusion and that you
are probably in love with the notion of Love, more than your
lover.
Love to you also probably means certain degree of suffering.
[yunhaier's scribbling: Appeared
like a Pisces with Mars severely debilitated in sign of Taurus,
Cancer or Libra, with terribly afflicted Neptune. (CloUdiSm X AOS
translate it to 70% Disappointed Dreamer and 30% The
Novice).]
***
I think you need much tuning in your mindset towards
Love because it seemed to me that you exist in a fantasy realm,
where mutual love does not actually exist in that dimension.
You are very much
in a one-player relationship, enduring nonsense from a lover, whose
Love has long cease to exist.
You portray Love in a surreal manner, which blurs the vision of
reality and idealism in Love. Like a child who has encountered a
tainted evil, you scuttle back to your world of idealism and
refusing to accept this certain truth - that your Love is but
phantasmal of what your blinded heart wants you to believe.
Don't dwell on past memories to sacrifice your present and future
prerogative of rudimentary respect, trust and Love. A fulfilling
relationship NEVER loses them... even with the
passing of time. I had to accentuate this:
NEVER.
CloUdiSm states '... it is we who
chose our partner, not the other way round...' If you are so
easily deceived by flippant words and the jester mask that your
suitor carries with him, then avoid loving such men. For your case,
I rather you be protective of yourself and let them prove their
worth in courtship, than having you being easily sway by the vagary
promise of Love.
As for your current, decaying relationship - it's a matter of time
before it ends. And the length of time depends on how much haste
you took to gather courage and wisdom. IMHO, it is beyond
redemption, beyond repair, and most importantly: beyond reasons on
WHY it should survive anymore.
Cheers
