Help, Problems in relationship

last SG · 2006-05-21T22:52:06+00:00

lol wat nonsense sia.. if u pass maths test den be CONSIDER to be wif u.. den next time wat? if ur GPA 4.0 den be wif u.. NONSENSE NONSENSE NONSENSE.. hav u...

M©+square SG

It's evident you're not ready to listen to advices.

It's fine, just give your daily reports here.

Idea You remind me of someone who posts his advancement of courtship in bar forum.

Cheers

M©+square SG

you don't know what state i'm in now. Neutral

I'm not lazy.........but......

Haiyah, ok. I'm lazy. Crying or Very sad

M©+square SG

May i ask of your relationship with your family members?

And your parents...their background. Do you have consistent communication with them? And does your parent have healthy communication with each other?

If you need a chat, i'm stayin at Pasir Ris too. Just Private message me.

Devil1976 SG

Hmm... Weird...? Rolling Eyes

Devil1976 SG

No offence, but I think you're making quite an ASSUMPTION there in blue which... Might turn out to be QUITE BAD IF you're WRONG?

I think it's pretty unfair to label his gf as using ElvYanE as a substitute at this point... Even if it holds true partially, there're EXTENTS which such a thought is being carried out... So I personally think that 'using' is quite a HARSH word to use on her.... No doubt she could be using him as a comfort to heal her heart, but I certainly don't see anything wrong with asking that from a beloved one...?

However, I do agree with you that it's certainly unwise of ElvYanE to blindly cling onto the relationship and based very much on self-indulging... Though easier said than done... I would rather propose for ElvYanE to 'educate' his gf and display much patience with her along the way....

Once again to remind ElvYanE... Don't give in BLINDLY pls... You need not be harsh on her, but if you give in blindly to her, you'll just probably have to face the consequence one day....?

Devil1976 SG

That's what I've spoken of previously... You mentioned that you do not compare her to your previous ex gfs, but subconsciously there would certainly be a minimal requirement or expectancy sort of things going on... And don't worry... It's really normal...

When she have been behaving much out of that all these while, your 'tolerance' would come in... You would probably need quite alot of self-assurance... But without any act to change the situation, you'll only find yourself to be in a dilemma in time... Facts do not tally with what you wish to believe in... Soon, your relationship would just as easily be jeopardised....

I suppose it's time for you to quit making excuses for her and yourself (pms and such? So what if it is..? You don't have to face it...?)

Somehow also partially true to what Yun have expressed... She could have been trying to 'shape' you... Not so much as a substitue for her ex I personally supposed, but more like one punching up their sack bag chair so that they would feel more comfortable as they sit on it...

How much do you know of her ex? You probably constitutes some factors which is lacking strongly in her ex... And whatever's lacking in you...? She 'asked' for it.... From the way she tries to dominate the relationship and over you through her unreasonable temper and demands... It indirectly forms a sense of security for herself... Your existence and loyalty to her... The 'promising' you (as she shapes you...)...

YES... All these mentality isn't exactly healthy...

You need to let her ACCEPT you as WHO YOU ARE... CONVINCE her of your WORTHINESS.... She CANNOT afford to live in a DREAM which would probably be TORN APART in TIME...

In SHORT, you'll need to GUIDE HER WELL.... Cool

ElvYanE SG

I think she finally accepted me.. today she went to my house.. we have fun together.. haha.. seems to go fine.. but when she gets home, say her online.. her msn nick was still the same.. saying that she can't forget him..

quite alot of things happened today.. she seems real in the r/s.. i can't tell now..

OO_OO_OO SG

Dude, its called the knockback syndrome.
she lost her ex, the best way to forget him is to find someone else, no matter how short the relationship will last.

she might think she loves you, but actually she's treating u as a substitute.

i think u really need to give her time to cool off, dont be rash, make sure that she really wants to be with you before u do anything or you're only bringing yourself a lot of pain.

M©+square SG

Hmm...more and more theories coming from the young ones.
Yet can't come out with theories on getting past bouncers. Laughing

dartlin SG

sorry but to say this..she is childish. she is always comparing u with her ex. If she truly love u, she should not be doing this. dude, just forget abt her and find a better gal or u can just keep on tolerate her nonsense until one day she realised u are the one.

Yunhaier SG

Woah.. what happen man?

Cheers

Yunhaier SG

I may not be entirely right in an absolute sense, but definitely, she is leeching him emotionally whenever she and ex begin their histrionic acts.

Looking at his current state, I doubt he even have any power to stop himself from accommodating her... even if he has to resort being a 2nd tier lover.

A woman needs a man.

And when a man degenerate to a servile personality, he will effectively lose the respect of his woman rapidly.

To make matter worst: his ex has so much power that it could affect her. That's a very bad ground to manoeuvre

P.S: I believe that there are many things between them that is not visible to him. Probably only time could reveal those thingy. Idea

Cheers

Devil1976 SG

Yes.

ElvYanE. If you're still around, pls go through what Yun has pointed out for you and take his / her words SERIOUSLY....

soul_rage SG

wah so messy
i suggest you take a step back, and continue with your life, (ie meet friends, do sports, read books, etc). Make your life interesting. Don't let your life revolve ard her. No gals like a guy who has no ambitions, no future, no dreams, but only follow her ard like a puppy.

This gal I would suggest to leave her alone, she may come back to find you on her own accord.

Cpt.ZR SG

wow… she is weird… maybe you should really stop… cos this kind of gals make you suffer only in the end… so my suggestion is… stop.. although it hurts.. but its for a short moment only… you will gret over it…

zeny SG

hi I know what I am going to say will not get into your head at all becos you love her too much.

so I am going to say this,

If you feel this is happiness then just enjoy it if it can last.
Since you are still young, you can feel as much as possible becos is good to experience different kinds of love.

There is no right or wrong in your relationship
you are willing to give and she is willing to receive so is fair.

Just remember this if one day she decides to leave let her go.

browniebaobao SG

it's not my responsibility to give advice here, coz I'm not MOD..

I'm just volunteering.

so there's no 'laziness' so as to speak. Laughing

M©+square SG

Yup, it's also a responsiblity to give only sound advice.

Words are powerful matter altogether.

Cheers

browniebaobao SG

It's only words~

and words are all I said

to take your heart away~~~

Reminds me of this song..

Devil1976 SG

I also don't see it as a responsibility of mine just because I'm a Mod in here...

Basically, I can be quite an irresponsible person.... Mr. Green "

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