Originally posted by Yunhaier:
What sort of mindset
have you brandished yourself, when you have restore contacts with
him and learned about his marriage?
To congrat. him only. No intention to
spoilt his marriage.
[b]Lady, you are trending on hazardous ground.
You are not very sure of your doings and actions, which resulted in
this deep confusion right now. True.
You may have advised him based on what/how you feel about his
ex-wife's attitude, but certainly, you are not exactly the best
candidate to make such comments. You will subconsciously influence
his decision because he has a terrible soft spot for you.
That was what my best friend
commented too. Kind of regretted my actions. I really didn't expect
that. And I don't know that if you know the scale
of influence (of your words), you have on him.
It's tremendous.
Your emotions are illusionary - you feel anguish when he
ended up with a woman, whom you probably thought he should deserve
someone better, but on the other hand, when you are presented with
the option of coming back together, somehow, your heart don't
really want to take him in, thus the bone picking about his
past.
If love has saturated your soul, you would have look beyond his
past the moment you accepted this relationship. After all, you have
all the first-hand, accurate information and knowledge about his
past isn't it? So when you have accepted him, you would have
accepted whatever that has happen. Then why are you 'minding' it
only after one month later? Yes. I should be contented that I got the first
hand information but I took it for granted. I think too highly of
myself that I will not mind but it is not that
easy.
The truth is that you might have already moved on these three years
without him. His appearance may have conjure flashback in your
memories and stir your emotions, but it may be fleeting and
insubstantial. Definitely not concrete enough to build another
round of relationship with him.
If your man doesn't have the wisdom to make choices for his
relationship and in turn, allow circumstances to make decision for
him, then he has to live with the choice opt by fate. Getting
married based on responsibility? Then suffer the consequence of
marrying someone anything other than love. Remember, you don't have
to fill in that gap just because he has heeded your advice to leave
his wife.
You are not liable for anything, even he has given up his marriage
for you (should that be the truth).
P.S: Never turn your shoulders and retrace your route. It only
allows karmic relationship to glee sadistically and afflict your
life. 
Cheers [/b]
Many thanks for your
advise.
