Originally posted by qy_von:
[b]Hi all,
Ive been with my bf for a year plus and we love each other deeply.
Problem is we have nothing in common and I am really bored in the
relationship itself.
He doesnt like to go out on the streets, and if we do hang out,
itd be with his group of friends and their girlfriends, sitting
around talking. When I am over his home, hell be either on the com
or watching repeated shows on SCV.
I have talked to him about this, but to him, it seems like staying
home with me is consider spending time together already. But its
boring me. I dont mind staying home, but quality time to me
includes heart to heart talk, and not just watching some shows on
TV all the time.
Sex is an issue too. He comes in less than 15 secs and I am always
left unsatisfied and incomplete. I tried to suggest buying vibrator
to play around but he said he doesnt like sex toys. Fingering
doesnt do me much
And even if go second round, by the time he
erects again, I have already lost the mood.
He is a very nice guy, and I feel bad for having so many complaints
about him. But I dont know why I am feeling so bored and
frustrated in our relationship
I dont want to cheat, I dont want
to break off
What can I do?[/b]
You must have some common interest with your boyfriend that
draws both of you together. How do the two of you meet and fall in
love if you have nothing in common? During courship, you two must
have talked over some topic, do somethings that you enjoy together,
be it catching a movie, strolling along Pasir Ris Park, chatting
over a cup of coffee etc etc etc... Try to find the thing that
created the 'spark' in your courtship days. If there is truly
nothing in common with the two of you, it might not have been love
you are experiencing, merely infatuation.
Sex I agree, is also a problem, though the problem I see is
somewhat different to the one you mentioned. A relationship will
lose all its novelty if you engage in sex too soon. Barely a year
plus into a relationship, it is already burning up... In my
opinion, it takes a longtime for a 'true' loving relation to
develop. In the early days of the courtship, you two are drawn
together and are so deeply in a romantic mood that you are blind to
each other's shortcoming. It takes time to learn and accept these
shortcomings, and this period may be potentially stressful to the
relationship. Think of it as a test. If the relationship can
survive this period, it will mature into something far more
lasting...
However, if at this stage, you have already done everthing a
seasoned couple has done, sex and all etc. There will no longer be
any allure and mystery to the relationship. All that is left is a
keen awareness of each other's shortcoming. This is the kind of
thing that will bring about the downfall of a relationship.
On the physical aspect of the sexual problem, is your bf suffering
from any medical conditions such as premature ejeculation? If not,
you can also prolong the session by "taking initiative" (I dont
want to talk about it here, but if you really want my humble
opinion, I can send you a private tell)
I also agree with the previous poster. Have a candid talk with your
bf. It might be that he is not aware of your needs, both physical
and emotional.
