My Problem

last SG · 2006-04-11T23:51:37+00:00

Might take a while to overcome that then....? Try chatting with a friend when you sit and enjoy your food next time then?

dragg SG

i am now into my 29th month of unemployment.

many must be wondering why i am still without a job. choosy? of course not.

it all started many months ago during a job interview. i had a sudden urge to run out of the office. then things got worst. i start to palpitate and find it hard to breathe when queuing for food, travelling in trains and buses. it was then that i know it is for real.

i booked an appointment to see a shrink. i was told i have anxiety attack and mild agoraphobia.

knn. i never had such problems for the last 39 years. and why now?

i was given medication which i refused to take. it can be addictive. the doctor suggested gradual desenitization.

now i find it ok to travel in trains and buses. but i still feel nervous eating at public eateries.

sianzzzzz. can i ever fully recover?

Crying or Very sad

blowfish SG

What u work as?

29 month! you married Confused

dragg SG

single and live alone.

hisoka SG

how are you finances man?

it pretty hard not being able to find a job and yet have to see a shrink and medicate

dragg SG

i am still financially sound. but the problem is i cant wait forever.

i saw the shrink only once. what they advised is exactly what is written in the books.

alfagal SG

i understand that medication makes u reliable on it.
these conditions are hard to treat, and there is no fast or direct cure.
some pple recover faster, some dun.

well e best thing is to listen to ur shrink's advice for now.

but u will need patience and determination to get yourself out of this situation.

dragg SG

its a catch 22 situation.

i need to find a job in order to recover but i also need to recover in order to find a job.

wth!!!

Crying or Very sad

CoolMyth SG

I think you shall start off by trying to solve your problem first.

Solving it might give you further confidence to finding a job.

Do things that will "desensitize" the anxiety at eating places. Such as doing small steps like walking around the eating place, take a look at every stall, ta-pao a drink/meal, sitting at the table and have a drink or meal etc.... Wink

dragg SG

it is very very frustrating.

dragg SG

it is very funny feeling nervous eating at public places.

it is something that i have been doing normally for the last 39 years, and now this.

it is very embarassing.

Crying or Very sad

alfagal SG

wondered ever y u feel nervous?

CoolMyth SG

Nah, it's understandable. Cool

You just have to find the root of your problem and take steps to solve it. Everyone's reasons are different. Professional psychologists can only do so much. The important thing is that you yourself must be determined to solve the problem. Wink

dragg SG

frankly i dont know why.

alfagal SG

coolmyth made a v good post.

u need bring up your confidence.

e.g doing simpler stuff outside ur home, then slowly doing more stuff like dinning, shopping etc.

CoolMyth SG

Maybe you had some bad childhood experience, like kanna scolded by coffee kia when you were young?

Or maybe you kanna rejected by girlfriend while you two were having a meal so somehow the trauma caused you to feel anxious at those places? Laughing

j/k. But it's reasons like this that makes one feel anxious. You just have to discover it for yourself. Cool

CoolMyth SG

Thank you. Embarassed

why ain't you posting at SH? Question

dragg SG

once i ordered a plate of rice and suddenly felt nervous. i asked the hawker to ta bao for me. an old couple who was sharing the table thought i was angry with them and pleaded with me not to go away. many people were staring at me. i took the rice and ate it at the beach. in a hurry to leave i even forgot to take a spoon.

i had for steamboat buffet with my sister. we ended up leaving after only eating one round. i shocked my sister.

on another occasion i arranged to meet my friend for an outing. suddenly the anxiety struck and i left only after talking to him for a few minutes.

it was so embarassing.

though i know they are understanding, i cant help but feel like a neurotic.

dragg SG

for the last 39 years of my life i never once had an anxiety attack anywhere.

i believe it has something to do with my unemployment, living alone and having only one friend.

CoolMyth SG

Hmm.....well saying it out might be helpful as well. Wink

I suddenly feel that your problem may be actually because you are very susceptible to people staring at you, hence the anxiety at public transport/eating places cause that's what you said.

Maybe it's a sign of low-confidence cause you're saying you cannot find a job? Or maybe you think you dun look presentable enough outside? Well, these kind of things are always connected. Wink

Parka SG

This is like change management, being afriad to move on into the unknown because all along, maybe you have been doing the same things everyday.