I have not slept properly for the past 26 hours, so dont mind
me
if I dont remember who is who..
but I do appreciate all the kind responses and the replies you
all
have given me.. but you are not in my shoes, you cant feel
wat
i am feeling either.
I feel.. lost.. numbed, and sometimes the pain shoots back
into
my heart.. or watever is left of it.. and i have been stoning
on
my windowstill for hours.. i stoned for.. 7 hours? I have yet
eaten
anything.. i dont feel hungry.. nor thirsty.. my mind blanked
most
of the time..
i still have the set of painkillers... 50 of them, mixed with 20
synflex..
stolen from my sis.. dunno will die properly if i swallow 70 of
them..
will i even die.. ? dunno..
but then again, i tried to tink it positively, no use.. i cant even
think
straight.
you guys really tried.. but failed le ba.. i still dun get
it..
watever it is.. really, maybe im just not suited to be on earth
anyway..
the pain is too great for me to bear... how can any girl be so
harsh to
show you mms pics of her and another guy hugging jus like
tat..
and added.. "i tink we shld not be together le ba.. we are
still
friends.. 
" smiley face at the
end...? wtf? break up mus go hug
other guy ah....
I told her i feel like dying.. she said "oh, dont jump off the
building ar..
or else next day auntie will wash like siao de.. die also dun give
people
trouble la.. ;p"
I was too hurt.. or even stunned to reply.. or rather, how to
reply?
am i hurt? i dunno leh.. i dun even feel properly.. or is it
hunger?
.... wat in the world... ... no logic... no sense.. im...
wrong?
Im still locked in my room, i really mentalily shutting down
le..
maybe i shld try to sleep.. for the 18th? 19th? time..
im tired.. im pretty sure.. my face looks crap.. maybe i shld
sleep..
