Worries always favours the pessimistic mind

Depressed...*sigh* SG · 2006-01-18T23:56:49+00:00

You are not alone, there are others in this world thinking the same way. Get to know them and u will even forget about these thoughts u are having. Part of t...

Depressed...sigh SG

You see, I am so afraid of facing the real world. People judge you by your looks, academic, attitude etc. but I can't seem to have any of the attributes mentioned. Also, I have like only one or two close friends but we only communicate through MSN Confused

It's not that I don't want to meet new people, but whenever I tried to open up, I always never fail to disappoint people. Maybe it's because we don't share the same interest or maybe because I am too rigid. I always tend to tremble or feel uncomfortable all of sudden whenever they start a conversation with me. This is really frustrating and it's affecting my social life and overall well-being. I feel so useless and really thought that I should be better off as a 'bai jia zi' than to set a goal to achieve in my life. I mean, really, this place on earth favours the more sociable people than the introverts.

I've been hurt too many times in the past and I can tell you that wherever I go, people do not like me...for whatever reasons, it surely is something bad about me like I've mentioned. They think i'm stupid and clumsy, always wearing a frown on my face. This, I can't help it, it's already a trait that I've been exhibited from young. I have everything a loser/nerd can have for Rolling Eyes

The root of my problem here is not my past but on how to change my perspective from a negative to a positive one? I always see the uglies and now, I want to have a change, a breathe of fresh air...because, I always been feeling so small, isolated and unwanted. My family is not the best, my step mum seems to adore her dog more than me, she will give me more money if I play with her dog.

All I can say that, I am a person that never have a tatse of self-confidence and real success in reality. It's always disappointments, disappointments and more disappointments.

*Sorry I was just writing what I was thinking

Pitot SG

oh my...
I think there are good and bad wherever you go.. its how you choose to live with them..

rainee SG

Think positively. If you keep thinking that everyone hates you, it will become like a self fulfilling prophecies and ppl will start to avoid you not because they hate you at the first place, but because they see that you are always looking unhappy when you are around them.

Yunhaier SG

You just need one good experience to eradicate all those negativity.

Perhaps you can consider forum outing as your first step. Idea

Cheers

dragg SG

take it easy and socialise more.

lower or avoid having expectations of people and you will feel better.

le cruz SG

This is good advice. But, Depressed...*sigh*, I also realise that you may feel it is difficult to "think positively" because of past hurts. I think it's perfectly within reason for you to feel this way, although it isn't good for yourself in the long run.

You must constantly strive to think of ways to improve your life. Dragg mentioned not having expectations of people you meet, I think that is a good idea. Whether they like you or not when you meet them, should not matter to you right now. It will be hard to think this way at first, but keep repeating something like "it doesn't matter to me" and I hope in time you'll condition yourself to think this way. I hope it'll help you to relax in the presence of unfamiliar people. You must try to RELAX, because when you are tense and guarded, it is very obvious and people find it hard to react you like that. They are also thinking if it is because you don't like them! How to learn to be more natural? That can only come with more practice. A 'safe' environment to condition yourself could be with relatives, and friends.

One more thing, you say people think you are clumsy.. I'll bet it's because you are feeling stressed and so you tend to be unnatural in your actions. It's not because you are "stupid"..from the way to write, I think you are definitely not.

There will always be challenges in life. Don't care if some people have it easy, some people have it harder or wat. We just learn to take them one by one. One by one. By and by, we get better at it.

Just my small piece of advice, all this. See all above replies, got people helping you already. So all is not lost

Very Happy

RaTtY81 SG

if u dun help urself , den nobody can help u. start thinking positively. its impt to have some self confidence, without confidence, u cant show ur characters, personalities n ur true self to others. Confidence is wat u need.

Ito_^ SG

everyone treats me like xiao di di. Confused becuz i have dat blur blur bo chup look.

but, dats u lar. dun try n look by the bright side, just do it naturally. don't try too hard, you'll end up repressing your emotions and end up even worse. just be yourself, for better or worse, dats my advise.

Devil1976 SG

Well. You can continue to just complain about them or you can try to do something to change them?

Depressed...sigh SG

Actually, I wrote this message because of one thing in mind : How am I gonna get a job with me still behaving like i never grow up?

Really, I either can't find or I can't stay at one job for too long. It's either the person fires me or try to cheat my money (like pay deposit la..blah blah) Rolling Eyes Really, I hardly see people like me working on a job..it's either admin or whatsoever but they have a cert, I only have my 'N' level Neutral

Also, I can't stand it when other ppl praise others 'very smart la, he achieved this at age blah blah..." 'very chio la', 'handsome la', something wrong with me huh? I will either be depressed the whole day or sulk like a spoilt child Neutral Also actually when others talk to me, I can feel that they pity me cause I see it in their eyes...they always say others more ke lian than me la, so don't feel sad..yaya, when did I ever feel sad only until you mention it Rolling Eyes Almost everyone I met at first sight say that to me..even when I go for interviews..so you tell me, issit I must go for plastic surgery to reconstruct my facial expression??

Also, I always wonder how do ppl can talk so much when they just met each other..it's like..they have a talent in communicating with others, making others feel comfortable...I want to attend those classes that teach people how to interact with others..but the it's soo expensive =.= i'm saving my ang pao money for a makeover leh Embarassed

.Dark.Yuki. SG

Looks do not matter. Don’t waste money on make-overs

Depressed...sigh SG

I do not second that. If it doesn't, I won't be suffering half of the injustice that is done to me.

pinkish purple papayas SG

wow...even ur nick is depressing....
get a life....

M©+square SG

Wah...PPP

Triple P. Laughing

Cheers

Depressed...sigh SG

Hmmm, quite true, I always try to be happy nowadyas and forgive myself and my parents, relatives for the atrocities that has been donw in the past.. we all been young before and make lots of mistakes right?

But the funny thing is, some of my relative is so bias against me, they seem to love making snide remarks and trying to show off their child a.k.a my cousins/nephews. They look down on my family and think they are better than us..that's why I quite anti-socail during gatherings..less talk, no quarrels er?

I tried communicating with them but they always seem to ignore me or just pick on me for no reason. One even slap my back so hard and scolded me just because I said I was too full and can't take any more food. Neutral

Haix,I dunno how to face them this coming new year...I like to play with one of my cousins but they always find a way to stop me from being happy..aiya..geez..

Depressed...sigh SG

Hi dragg and le cruz,

I have no expectations of people, I just want them to treat me nice or maybe give me a geniune smile, is that too high of an expectation? Mr. Green

Depressed...sigh SG

I'm very much alive. If i'm not, I won't be feeling any feelings at all. Thank you very much.

laosu SG

Just one question for you to ponder upon.
How do you expect people to accept you when you can't even accept yourself?

From what you wrote, I don't even have to see your face to tell me that there's these words craved on your forehead "Don't Come Near Me".
No one in thie world will be able to reach out to you if you keep hiding in the closet. This is not a Hide-N-Seek game.

rainee SG

Looks do not matter as much as how much confidence you can exude from yourself. If you know how to appear confident, you will appear beautiful to other people.

rainee SG

I think you are thinking too much of what people might think about you. Maybe they don't feel that you are pitiful, but you think they are thinking that way. As I have said, it is a self-fulfilling prophecy. Don't be so self-conscious about your looks, as it is not everything. Learn to feel and appear confident.

You do not need to go for plastic surgery. Simply reconstructing your looks will not solve your confidence problem, which is what you are facing now. Don't need to waste money on plastic surggery or make-over session. Instead spend more time trying to accept and love yourself.

And don't think so much about what others think about you. Who knows you better than yourself? if you can form a good opinion about yourself, if you can find peace in your heart about your personalities, then you will able to feel happier and get yourself out of this depression.