Some advice to decipher such a situation

last SG · 2006-01-07T14:26:25+00:00

but to me she seems like trying to playaround with me... sometime this gal she take to intro me.... then sometime she teases me about another

binZ SG

talking about oneself is normal de.. girls tend to be talkative.. or else whats there to talk about nia..

to her.. u might be someone who can confide with.. a good friend who will listen to her when she needs u around.. someone who can chat her heart out knowing tat u dun have ill intentions..

possibilities are countless.. it is for u to decide whether how much u like her or whether is she worth ur time.. i see a number of sound advices here~ take ur time and choose the best one~ Smile cheers~

the birthday cake thing does confuse things a little.. but well.. some things are hard to say.. i send flowers to my friend's office before on her birthday~ i dun really mean anything special~ just a surprise nia.. well.. up to u to decipher the situation~ double cheers~

hyperactivechatterbox SG

In my opinion, I think she really likes you as a good friend, but is afraid that when she rejects you, you guys wouldn't be as good friends as before. It is possible that a few people have also told her their feelings before, and they weren't as good friends as before. So, she is sorta trying to make you give up on her, but still remain good friends.

But then...this is all my opinion. Maybe you could go out with one of her friends, and test her reaction. If it is like what I think, she will be a little jealous/not jealous, but relieved.

curiousOrange SG

Unpredictable sounds like unstable to me.

I think the bottom line is, you have to keep her wondering about you.

Talk about anything under the sun. But dont disclose too much personal info at the initial stage.

Scenario 1:

You and her taking a walk around City Hall area after watching a concert at Esplanade when she mentions the dreaded question:

Her: So why did you and your ex break up?
You: It happened.
Her: Surely there must be some reason?
You: We were young then, we could have done some things differently.

(Change topic, make use of anything you see on the streets at this point.
Point to the War Memorial Hall)

You: You know people can be inattentive sometimes. Like that War Memorial park over thereI walked past it so many times in my life, but I dont really pay any attention to it.

Keen for some adventure? Grab her hand and smile,
Lets do some exploring this time!

Scenario 2:

She starts asking about your finances way too early in the relationship

Her: I heard being a XXX pays well
You: OhI earn enough
Her:
(Obviously, not satisfied with your answer and waiting)

You: Enough to buy your little sister some balloons for her birthdaylook at the designs they have here!

Her: ..
(Shes still looking p!ssed)

You: Hold her hand, smile and give her a kiss,Asking too many questions.

When she wants more info about you, tell her a little without lying about anything.

falling_stars SG

so you see... that's the part that has confused the situation till now...
i m sure one doesnt gives a birthday cake to every friend rite?? wat's more i only knew her like less than a month that time

M©+square SG

Shocked Motherly instinct!

Cheers

alexkusu SG

orange, u satisfied ur curiosity yet? Mr. Green

binZ SG

dun think too much about it..
she might have other things than romance in her mind when she bought u the cake..

you might know the reason or u might not know the reason..

One always look at the present and look into the future..

im sure u wont let one cake interfere with ur decisions?

binZ SG

Mr. Green

dakkon_blackblade SG

Originally posted by curiousOrange:

Unpredictable sounds like unstable to me.

I think the bottom line is, you have to keep her wondering about you.

Talk about anything under the sun. But dont disclose too much personal info at the initial stage.

[b]Scenario 1:

You and her taking a walk around City Hall area after watching a concert at Esplanade when she mentions the dreaded question:

Her: So why did you and your ex break up?
You: It happened.
Her: Surely there must be some reason?
You: We were young then, we could have done some things differently.

(Change topic, make use of anything you see on the streets at this point.
Point to the War Memorial Hall)

You: You know people can be inattentive sometimes. Like that War Memorial park over thereI walked past it so many times in my life, but I dont really pay any attention to it.

Keen for some adventure? Grab her hand and smile,
Lets do some exploring this time!

Scenario 2:

She starts asking about your finances way too early in the relationship

Her: I heard being a XXX pays well
You: OhI earn enough
Her:
(Obviously, not satisfied with your answer and waiting)

You: Enough to buy your little sister some balloons for her birthdaylook at the designs they have here!

Her: ..
(Shes still looking p!ssed)

You: Hold her hand, smile and give her a kiss,Asking too many questions.

When she wants more info about you, tell her a little without lying about anything.
[/b]

Did you dream all this up or did you really do that with some girl before???

binarynwitz SG

^^ possible, but the guy needs to be daring enough.

And falling_stars, it seems to me that girl is testing you out. Go out with one of the girls she introduced. Make sure it's the prettiest. That would make her jealous if she's interested in you. If she begins to take some initative after you went out with the other girl, congratulations.

The birthday cake kind of mess things up a bit. Did she deliver the cake herself, or just bought the cake and asked smoeone else to bring it? If she did it herself, most likely she did it with the intentions of love. Because that way, you would know she was the one who bought it. That's what i feel.

falling_stars SG

no she did not deliver it... she gt someone else to do it... when i asked the person who was the one who made such a request he said dun noe...

so i called her straight away that day bt she denied...

bt by the end of the day she admitted it when i said i wanted to throw it away since i dun noe who is the sender and who noe's wat's inside the dake??

yuko-ogura SG

could there be a possibility that she doesn’t want the thread-starter to know it’s her cux she doesn’t want him to have the wrong idea?

falling_stars SG

hmmm.... well.... i dun reali noe man... only noe that aft that she said she
wanted to gave me a surprise on my birthday thru sms

yuko-ogura SG

u noe wad?im a gemini myself.

i can safely tell u that we are pple who change our minds v quickly.that includes me as well..haha..

but if we see someone we like,we would go all out.

the cake incident could be a sign of her affection..but she's shy to show it.

good luck!follow the advice in the earlier replies.u'll do perfectly fine.

if not,being frens wif her wouldn't be that bad..can start slowly first too. Smile

falling_stars SG

haha... ok thks yuko... she's the 2nd gemini gal i noe so far.... m starting to catch the characteristics of geminis alreadi....

guess you ppl are rite after all... will heed your advises.... thks everyone who contributed to the advises here!

curiousOrange SG

dakkon

Translate all that to Chinese and it would be what i said to the current one.

But 9 years ago, when a girl asked me the breakup question, I spent 15 mins explaining the reasons in detail. Obviously, I did not hear from her again. Wink

Which is why now I learn talk about anything but my personal info. At the beginning of the courtship, she knows next to nothing about me.

Feed her with the negative details (breakup is usually negative) and she will think negative!

yuko-ogura SG

wad if she asks personal qns?

give her the snub?

curiousOrange SG

Depends on the question she asked.

When she asks the reason why my previous relationship fails, I understand why she is concerned.

So I said this:

You know people can be inattentive sometimes. Like that War Memorial park over thereI walked past it so many times in my life, but I dont really pay any attention to it.

Then I asked her to check out the park with me.

I will try to change the topic as smoothly as I can.

But at the same time, I let her think that in a way, I'm answering her question.
So I'm willing to disclose a bit of info to her.

When she asks about how much I earn (when it's too early in the relationship!). I said this:

Enough to buy your little sister some balloons for her birthdaylook at the designs they have here!

That question is a strict "no".

I will bluntly change the topic to hint to her that I am not comfortable about that question...without making any hurtful comments to her.

If she continues to probe, she lacks respect and is not the type I'm looking for...I will walk away.

drx SG

Just curious if I tell you the girl does not like you will you accept it?
If not then it does not matter at all.
The ways and methods which you are using will only push her further away from you. Give her some time to know you better. Be her friends first before you decide anything. 1 month is way too fast to know someone. Whether she is introducing someone to you or not does not show how much she likes you. Just give her some time to know you better.

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