I'm with my gf (I knew from camp) for 5 months plus(at the point
of time), and one very fine day we to the IDP open house and I
happened to bump onto "her", She was my campmate and of course my
gf know her too. So that night I called her to ask her why she was
there, what course she's going to take when she is going to
Australia etc.. Basically to sum it up is to know hows she doing.
So we find each other able to communicate well and so quite often
I'll call her to chit chat without my gf knowing and in no time my
feelings for her grew. One fine day when we're about to end the
conversation. I was telling her that me as a friend can only know
her at the most 70% the rest is only accessible by the boyfriend,
So she said:" Do you want the access??" Well I said I already have
a girl friend already so I cannot have the access. Perhaps this
conversation was the catalyst that made us grew closer. But anyway
I called her to ask her if she has any other meaning behind the
above said conversation. She said no. Perhaps she's shy or what I
dont know... Anyway so occasionally we still do chat on the phone.
And what happened after this I cant really remember. All I
remember was that I didnt treat my gf well and I care for the
other party more.
And so on the day of my birthday, I called "her" in the morning to
ask her if she is free to go out with me later in the day (Cos my
gf working), "She" accepted the date. I was so happy that Im
finally able to date "her" out. Then later in the day my gf called
to tell me that she's free to celebrate my birthday with me. I
stumbled and think , my once in a blue moon chance of dating "her"
out spoilt by my gf. No way Im going to let that happened. So I
cook up some excuse to ask her to rest at home (cos she sick take
MC). So that night I had a very happy time with "her". She got me a
very small cake (previous night I got stuffed with cake) and I was
very touched by her little action. I dun believe that shell make
the effort on her normal friends. Then on Saturday I told my gf I
wanted a breakup because I kept looking for "her" no point in us
continuing on. My gf was devasted , a guy that she loved a lot did
this to her, willing to spend his birthday with another gal instead
of own gf. Seeing her so sad, my heart very soft :-( Then the next
day I was very sad and unhappy that she breakup with me. In the
morning, I messaged "her" that I just broke up with my gf, as usual
"she" did not reply me. So I spend the day feeling very sad. When I
was home at night, I couldn't stand the time without my gf around.
So I called my gf to tell her that I wanted to take back all that
Ive said. And promised her that I would forget her and not look
for her again. She did allow me to be her boyfriend once again,
but she wanted me to re-chase her. I said thats its not possible
for such things to happen because well never go back to the
honeymoon period. The 1st week of patching up was terrible. We
quarrel the re-chase, she mention something about my attitude,
maturity and etc. But the following week was a lot easier, thats
when I finally made her drop the idea of the re-chase. Then she
went out of country for holiday, I pondered if I should go look for
her again as her birthday was approaching. Finally I decided to
ask her out on her birthday, she then di di da ly for a few
days before confirming with me.
I was hoping that Friday came faster and faster so that I can see
her, so I brought her present and decided on where to go and
stuff. Just then I wondered, if the girl that Im celebrating for
is my own gf, would I have done so much for her? I knew wouldnt.
So Friday came and brought her out for birthday and after which
she was very happy and contented with what Ive come up for
her. During our chat at the seaside she did once mention that
she did not reply my messages because she wanted me to
concentrate on my gf. At the same time she said "she" wasnt
ready for a relationship, I was thinking that "her" ex must have
hurt her deeply for her to feel this way. The next day I was
thinking of her to whole day, if only our Christmas eve could be
spend together. In the end, my gf came back and we celebrate the
eve together. I did treat her nicely she was happy with me that
night and on the Christmas card she wrote some very heart melting
things that I feel that I should just forget about her. Then i
thought; do I love my gf or its just LIKE thats why i'm with my
gf?
I feel that somehow I need to make a choice for myself, I admit
that Im very afraid of breaking up with my current gf even though
I found someone that suits me. I hate the pain thats involved but
guess it all part and parcel of a relationship. What goes up must
come down. Or perhaps my gf is the one except that Im blinded
other factors. Im not physically attracted to her, so I presumed
that Im not having crushes.
I love/like my gf for she is an caring person and someone that dote
on me alot. But she lack the matureirty and we have different
thinking. My gf is quite possisvie in the sense that she's like me
to be with her often. But she's losen up a little these days.
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