Originally posted by HougangBoy:
Actually before marriage i already have some feeling for this gal
but at that time, i didnt do anything cos my wife has been together
with me for quite a long time. In the end, i lose contact with this
gal till i get married. Then we start chatting again and over the
time, we confess our feeling to each other. And i think my feeling
for this gal overshadow my feeling for my wife now.
You seem to me as a sentimental
person, and yet uncertain in what you want in a girl. You claimed
that you think
your feelings for this gal overshadowed those for your wife and the
fact that you are still compromising to leave or stay by your wife,
tells me that you don't know which gal you want yet. Marriage is a
serious commitment, a covenant. Divorce is more troublesome to
handle than break-up.
Perhaps, the following questions might shed some light into your
situation.
Who comes first into your mind?
Do you have any idea of who means the most to you?
Ask yourself this question and answer it honestly.
"When you are happy, which gal would you want to share your
happiness with?" The one you think of is someone you love.
Ask yourself another question and answer it honestly!
"When you are sad, which gal you want to share your burden
with?"
The one you think of is also someone you love.
If you think of the same gal when you are happy sad, that's the
most perfect.
But if you don't think of the same gal, I would advise you to chose
the one you are willing to share your sadness with because in life,
there are more sorrows than happiness. If you live your life
happily, you can also enjoy it alone. In sadness, however, there
are not many people willing to share your burden with you.
I hope the woman you think of, is your wife. Afterall, you didn't
make the effort to stay in touch with the girl (neither did she)
and in the end, you chose to marry your wife. It's something we
should not live in regrets. I'll just take it that we are not
destined to marry each other.
My mum once told me, to marry the man whom I cannot live without
with, not whom I can live with.
Hope it helps.
Cheers!
