this gurl

leilan84 SG

i got to know this lady(26) about 1 month back through my aunt... she's a very capable lady i would say. she's the boss of 6 companies.. and she's single.. she's really cute, pretty, and smart Smile she's the kind of gurl that all guys will fall in love with once they know her Wink ... and in my case, i'm not spared from it either

she seems to have "hao gan" towards me but yet seems not so...
she'll always "jia" food for me whenever we eat, remember the things that i like... for instants i told her once that i like strawberry and when we celebrate one of my aunt's friend's birthday, she reserve the strawberry just for me Smile
it really touches my heart.. Embarassed

but yet whenever i sms or call her, she only reply and ans my call only occasionally. and she don't like it if i sms her telling her that i miss her and if i ask if she miss me.

i'm stressed up now.. Sad
why? coz in ns, i'm a poor man, don't know what future lies ahead for me
yet she's so capable, rich, pretty smart... so many suitors..

love ain't about these worldly matters, yes i know, but if you're in my shoe(as a guy) you'll never wanna be provided by, by a lady would you?

but yet i can't control my feelings for her... the feeling that i've once thought i've lost when my ex broke off with me for another guy, is all rushing back to me at one shot Evil or Very Mad yet it all seems so foreign to me..

what should i do? tell her how i feel? hint to her(not my usual style)?
ask her about her feelings for me? do nothing and just wait?

some rational advise pls... i'll appreciate it alot thanks Smile

BadzMaro SG

U already answered all the questions urself. Unless needed to be reminded or told why ?> i will explain to her.

I see u are..mm. 21 ? In NS so i assume so.
1) Age difference.. as u said.. she is 26 , capable and owns 6 companies.. what on earth would she want with a little boy. UNLESS... u can really prove urself to be something and special n also unique to the others.. ur chances are slim to none.
2) She already says she dun like it when u ask her if she misses u or that u miss her. That is another obvious sign.
3) U say u dun want to feel provided... well, if u realy wanna proceed with this relationship.. its gonna even make if worst for u.
4) Ur feelings is just maybe this attraction. She is something hard to get , successful like u said.. n many suitors so u will think of even trying.

Solution?
Depends do u still want to proceed with ur fantasy of wooing her. Chances are, if u fail.. thats it. GAME OVER. I reckon she treats u like a Xiao Di Di.. maybe too fast for her. I say u can try n work at it.. if not..at least become her toy boy. So u gotta be fit , able n humouress. She is a working lady so has obvious stress...try to destress n understand her more lo.

leilan84 SG

Originally posted by BadzMaro:
U already answered all the questions urself. Unless needed to be reminded or told why ?> i will explain to her.

I see u are..mm. 21 ? In NS so i assume so.
1) Age difference.. as u said.. she is 26 , capable and owns 6 companies.. what on earth would she want with a little boy. UNLESS... u can really prove urself to be something and special n also unique to the others.. ur chances are slim to none.
2) She already says she dun like it when u ask her if she misses u or that u miss her. That is another obvious sign.
3) U say u dun want to feel provided... well, if u realy wanna proceed with this relationship.. its gonna even make if worst for u.
4) Ur feelings is just maybe this attraction. She is something hard to get , successful like u said.. n many suitors so u will think of even trying.

Solution?
Depends do u still want to proceed with ur [b]fantasy of wooing her. Chances are, if u fail.. thats it. GAME OVER. I reckon she treats u like a Xiao Di Di.. maybe too fast for her. I say u can try n work at it.. if not..at least become her toy boy. So u gotta be fit , able n humouress. She is a working lady so has obvious stress...try to destress n understand her more lo.[/b]

fantasy of wooing her? i don't understand why you consider it a fantasy? yes it's hard to archieve but... that's why till now she's still single and ain't seeing anyone... haiz....

it has also comes across my mind that she just treat me like a small brother... but... if she only treats me like a small brother why would she be so "xi xin"?

toyboy... i reckon you'll do that... i'll not...

*not picking a fight here... but the term that you use seems kindda offending or am i too sensitive>?

StarPuppy SG

hmm...I feel that you might be taking her friendliness on the wrong side...

It is natural that if you are like a good friend to you, she will remember more things compared to normal guys... I feel that she is friendly and you took it more on the r/s side.....

I would not say that you are not good enough for her...everyone is good for another person care, love and concern

Idea I suggest that you improve your work first...make yourself financial stable, upgrade yourself

as you said...you are a poor man and have no future...why not upgrade yourself and create a future for yourself? You think she will be with a person who has no future?

even your talents and skills are far apart...the point is that
you try constantly to upgrade yourself and give her a better life by playing your own part

~+Cheers+~
StarPuppy

BadzMaro SG

Well.. if its not some kind of 'fantasy' u tell me what it is then. Just a normal affection towards her ? look... she is a working lady , asu said, very successful. In general, most will want someone better then them or someone they can look up to. I have a good example . My older sis.. she is a double Major , works in one of the biggest law firms.. able to provide herself anything n everything. U think she gonna accept any Tom Dick n Harry ? I am just being straight forward at what i think. U dun like it its cool with me. U can shove it right back down at me.

She very Xi Xin with u maybe something about u that she finds u maybe adorable or something. Thats why u move slow..u rush , n its nada man. Like i said , u have to get to know her more n understand her. The only way is to be able to understand her n make her feel that u are different from the rest of the losers out there. Plus u are young some more.. what have u got to give ? Her mindset is different from urs so u better think at her perspective.

If u find my terms offending.. then i say i am sorry for ' offending ' u. Maybe i am a bit harsh.. bt thats the way i see the possible outcomes of ur situation. So i voice out my opinion for u to consider. There will be others , so the more ideas and solutions the better right ? Everyone has differnt experience. I have experiences also.. in older women but is slightly different from urs thats all.

StarPuppy SG

hmm i find that there is truth in your words...
but i clearly think AGE is not a factor Confused ...TALENTS AND DETERMINATION would be key words for this thread starter

BadzMaro SG

Age may not necessary be a factor here. BUT ... in most cases.. it doesnt last long. Talents n Determination.. mmm.. true. But i would think more of.. Understanding and then able to make her see the possibilities of him. Women at that age would want a very understanding partner and someone that can be there to listen to her stress. He is still serving NS n it will take years to be able to make her see his value. Thats why he has to understand her first to be able to determine his next course of feasible action.

Ito_^ SG

wah. power women. Very Happy

FeowFeow SG

Helloooooooooo Penguin Mr. Green

I like your way of putting things, & most of what you've said hit the nail right on the head. I've had "admirers" (for lack of a better word) younger than me, but I wouldn't consider them even if I weren't attached. Nothing against younger guys, but the discussions or even chitchat topics are kinda boring, it's a case of "been there, done that, help you through that", & Not necessarily affection or fondness. I tend to treat them as little brothers, etc.

No matter how fast or how slow a younger guy moves, it's gonna be difficult to attract my attention, unless this person displays a sense of maturity far beyond his years (haven't encountered 1, apart from 1 forumite here called Chief Sitting Bull who's certainly "seen things"). I honestly wouldn't wanna spend my leisure time indulging someone's pouts or tantrums Laughing

A person doesn't hafta be rich nor successful. But if he's mentally too young, then he's too young, period. I don't really care for the fast cars he drives if all he talks about is teenage angst.

FeowFeow

dragg SG

26 and own 6 companies?

frankly i have not seen or met a capable woman whom is nice.

alexkusu SG

maro really can give advice..boleh tahan Laughing

leilan84 SG

hmm... i think what you guys have said so far is rather true... i'll heed the advise that's given... Smile thanks Very Happy

leilan84 SG

well... i have

alexkusu SG

Personally, I think you have a chance. But it all boils down to how you use this chance. Wink

BadzMaro SG

Ah..Master FeowFeow! Ever so subtle n fair.. Mr. Green I agree in terms of not being mature n being young in the mindset. Those that seek the younger males has no doubt seeking just the thrills of having a younger lover... mmmm But at the age of 26 n owning 6 companies.. Makes me wonder what does he mean by owning.. Shocked Anyways Maturirty n the ability to understand. To be able to see past all these and be understanding, the person many be on his way to being mature. Rolling Eyes

alexkusu SG

maro..feow prefers to me calles as miss/mistress Laughing

leilan84 SG

hmm... how should i make use of this chance?

FeowFeow SG

Yah lorr... When I'm frustrated at work, what I wanna do when I meet my partner, is to speak to him on an adult level, what I experience, & have proper, rational & intelligent suggestions on how to solve a problem, rather than, "Go HOOT that guy! Go & bang table, plus all sorts of profanities whatever, etc" Razz

I like nights curled up in front of the TV with a good movie on & having peppermint chocolate chip ice cream compared to "cheonging" at pubs (c'mon, at my age, excessive alcohol ruins the skin). I'm No longer into the adrenalin rush, nor do I crave to see & be seen whilst clubbing etc. Once in awhile, it's ok, but Not on a regular basis anymore.

True, sometimes I do miss the excitement of being young, but at this stage of my life, life is too short to stress about things & rushing about when I'm Not at work. Gimme a simple life (minus the temper tantrums) anyday Wink

And yes, MANY view me as harsh. But I don't believe in sugar-coating words. If you're a man, take it, I dare you Wink

FeowFeow

FeowFeow SG

Oh yah hor!!!

Bad Penguin Evil or Very Mad

FeowFeow

dcx SG

Frankly speaking, i find that you don't stand a chance at all....

She's kind enough to feedback to you how she dislike you sms-ing her about those "u miss me? i miss u" thingy...

Obviously, she finds you rather a childish immature boy...note the word i've used upon -->"boy"
I feel that she has yet look upon you as a MAN or GUY...

Let's put aside her capabilities and success in which you feel are "barriers" to your advancement..

Ladies at her age, truthfully speaking, would like to look upon guys who're maturely enough to take care of himself and needlessly to say, to take care of her too...

Many times, guys thought that age difference doesn't really play a major part in a relationship..but then, in reality, ladies would love to have a guy who's older than them and with a stable career.

I feel that age difference of guys younger than ladies should not be more than 3years old younger than ladies, which i feel is the maximum limit/offset.

There's no wrong of you liking a woman who's 5years or so older than you. But you've to face the reality.

Just ask yourself these few questions:

1] When will you complete your NS?
2] When will you step into the working society?
3] How long does it takes for you to have a stable career? 3years? 4years?
4] What can you give her if she's your gf?
5] What confidence level can you give and provide her?
6] Anything can happened within this 4yrs, i.e. relationship turning sour.
7] So, if let's say something real bad will to happen within these 3~4yrs, you'll be ~25yrs old but she'll be ~30yrs old. You're still young by then, but she's not. You can look for another girl easily, but can she do the same as you?

Have you thought of those questions above? If not, it'll be meant to perceive that you're a selfish person, as you think all for yourself, sparing no thoughts for her future and feelings.

All these simply leads to INSECURITY which you can't provide her with.

So, i would suggest you giving up the idea of being togather/relationship with her. It's for your good, as you don't waste your time and of course, her time and youth.