Gosh this is a serious problem. Seems like she is lying to 2 men
at the same time. Well, the only conclusion is boredom and a
general disatisfaction with current situation.
I'm a Singaporean now living in HK and having been here for 5
years, I can assure you that HKies living in Singapore and
especially those without many friends can find Singapore
"stressfully" boring. On top that the child minding can make your
life doubly boring and tiring. Trust me, I just did it for 2 weeks
and boy, you think you have the whole day and there is bound to be
some free time, but it never happens that way. So, in my mind she
has made a major contribution to the family though not
financially.
No doubt the cost of living in Singapore is high, but have you
overworked and neglected her and treated more as a mother than a
girlfriend/wife since your kid was born? Is she only doing the
messaging just to get more attention from you? My suggestion is to
have a heart to heart talk with her, ask her what would make her
happy and that in return you would ask her to cut her contact with
her ex so that both of you can built your relationship. Some girls
just need to be sweet talked to, even though your dillengence at
work has already shown your love for the family. To them luv for
family and luv for them can be 2 different issues. Forget about
trying to talk to or find out about her ex-bf as it may cause
jealousy to get the better of you. And he is not the root cause of
the problem as he is being lied to as well. Have you thought of
moving to another country where both of you are happy to find
employment?
