When you have lost it without reasons; this
sense of lost is so much greater. Come unexpectedly like a gale in
the night, wrecking and destroying everything you have built over
the months.
When you recover it without reasons, you realise that this gain
becomes nothing and your lost, too, has fade away its meaning.
Confusion sets in because what you thought you had treasured the
most, now became something insignificiant. You questioned yourself
why... having no answer.
You are experiencing a transformation of mindset, which is telling
you that Love and
Relationship is but two separate entities. Love,
technically, never dies and like energy, it is only transferable -
channeling into another source of emotions, like hatred,
acceptance, etc. A relationship is but a choice; something that you
choose whether you want to begin or not. A relationship is heavily
integrated into the subject of Love, but contrary to popular
belief, loving
someone doesn't always mean you have to be in a relationship with
someone. (Law of CloUdiSm)
When you have moved on with your life and having to retrace your
steps and bring yourself back to where you previously stop is
silly. Everything changed when the gale took place - even if the
land remains, nothing is exactly the same. You realise this because
you are beginning to get used to your new life, the motion of
moving on and being teleported back into the past only serve to
remind of your long-ceased relationship.
Because your constant and variables has changed, nothing will
appear the same... forever.
Being lonely and knowing what's better for yourself is critical.
Being lonely is never permanent and very often, it's merely a state
of mind and circumstances. You change those elements, loneliness is
gone in an instant (with some ample effort), but when you delay
what is deemed as the inevitable - a dead relationship, usually,
just will just stay that way throughout your attempt to revive
it.
You are beginning to see how futile it is - what you must learn
from this relationship, grasp it tight and well. Other than that,
release your clutches. 
Cheers
