My life story... So far

hisoka SG

Originally posted by Anakin Jr:
[b]FRIENDS

The umber of friends I have approximate the umber of fingers on one hand. Ive not been to a movie or clubbing for almost 3 years, not cos Ive no money or no time, but simply cos I have no company.
I honestly do mind going to the movie alone (did that many times now), my greatest fear is only those lovey-dovey couples sitting beside me. Argghh How I scorn these people!!

I am also deciding if I should terminate my hand phone line. I basically do not get any calls or sms, apart from mom & sporadically official matters ( NKF donations, dubious lucky draw winnings). My good friends calls me only when they need 1) to borrow money 2) Run errands or listen to their problems. Once settled, I will never ever hear from them again. Until they are in trouble again

As a result of my virtually non-existent social life, my likes & dislikes have also grown distinctly apart from others.
Like:
Monday
Tuesday

Dislike:
Sat
Sun
Public Hols
Valentine **
Christmas **
New Year

Neutral:
Friday
Chinese New Year
Ghost Festival

** such occasions should be scrapped

LOVE

I have an overwhelmingly vexing love life, which suffocates me almost every nite. It all boils down to the problem there is no love at all--- Relationship or Friendship--- in my life; the vacuum is drowning me.
It pains me to think if I would to die today, how few would the turn out for my funeral be. Other than my parents & close relatives, I am saddened that how few frens & ex-lovers may be there. Most of my friends & ex-lovers probably wouldnt even know, since they have long ceased to contact me.
The prospect of such an embarrassing scenario has kept me from committing suicide

I conclude that I must either have
1) A grotesque, repellant appearance or
2) Some serious character flaws or
3) Psychotic illness ( My psychiatrist says its depression, not schizophrenia)

Why do I find it so difficult to have something easily inherent in most people--- finding a decent girlfriend & having a few friends to hang out with
[/b]

actually i do agree valentines day should be scrapped it serves no real purpose other than to trick/force pple to spend money needlessly

mistyblue SG

ah .. and you'd be stoned to death by the girls who want their chocolates and roses...
Me, I vote to remove that day also Razz
Actually, its getting irritating nowadays, come Thur-Sun. The dating couple would strut around town and give very irritating up-down looks at people like me who like to walk around on my own.

A.J.
Forgot to mention. Its actually your point of view (mental picture if you like of this world) that makes the reality of this world - ie remember matrix? Something like this. Don't believe, go read Emotional Intelligence. If your views are negative, you keep focusing on the negatives ie bad grades and etc. You will see reality all working against you. If you count the things you have, a roof, family, perhaps a better tomorrow, some fun activity to participate. Hey then the positive possibilities are endless. Your mind is the key. It determines a lot of things.

Some people have loads of friend, BF, GF and whatever. Done it all very early. Some people take it slow. Its just is. No one is to blame. I don't have that many friends and I don't feel the need to have. I don't do things to prove anything to the world or myself.

Don't get all depressed over the current state of affairs. Its harder to get out of depression than anything. Anyways, things will pass, you will strive for a better future. And perhaps achieve something you never know you would.

parn SG

Anakin Jr, hey...there's nothing bad in your life right now...so don't feel bad about it ok?

You have your education, parents, your health and your sanity. It's nothing wrong to feel this way once in a while...it happens to everyone at least once in a year. Just that you happened to think of it more than once a year. Smile

I can assure you that you're not alone and this is really a cold world you're living in even though you may be the warm one around. The coldness will vastly overcome the little warm that is emitting from you, and that's why you need friends in your world...they warmed up your world. Smile

Of course the warmness of your friends varies from little warm to hot. And there must always be a balance to make sure that your world don't get too cold(not enough friends to warm up your life) or too hot(too much friends liao). Smile

I can tell you that the problem lies within you although I don't know you personally to pinpoint your flaws. And don't waste your money seeing any psychiatrist, they're no good at all. Save those money for those useless consultation sessions to pamper and buy something for yourself, you'll feel happier than going for those consultation sessions. Laughing

Since I can't tell you exactly where your fault lies, I could do a quickpick like Toto or 4D. Smile Okies....you have a lot of expectations of yourself and you're feeling bad/worse tha you're not even half as close to your own expectations. And this is getting you down and out. So please lower your expectations of yourself...lower them until you feel normal and better.

How to lower them to make yourself feel better? Well, the traditional way would be to give yourself loads of excuses and blame alot of people for your own situation, but that will make you as scornful as the witches of eastwicks. Smile To do it correctly, you should take a pen and papers, write down your frustrations and expectations so that you can see them clearly and your mind will have an impression of it through your own photographic memories...hahahaha... Laughing

After you've done so, start to ask yourself this question "Why am I feeling this way?" - To your frustrations list and "Why am I not achieving it?" - To your expectations list. You will need to answer them by writing them down on the paper and don't care how long the answers are going to be. You must take note of this when you're answering the questions, that is... Do not blame anyone in your answers to those questions in your frustrations and expectations list. *This is important even though it may be harsh*

Once you've accumulated those lengthy answers, summarise them and put those summarised answers for your frustration list as your Personal Goals and expectations list as your Life Goals. Personal Goals are the things that you'll need to learn in order to change yourself. Life Goals are the realistic expectations that you should work towards after achieving your Personal Goals. Smile

Good luck and have more patience in yourself, you won't change in just a day...but you'll see results everyday if you're determined to give it a try. Smile

hisoka SG

yeah got supportter Laughing

i dun mind the giving of the chocolate etc on one day of the year lah but because they fix the day then kena exploited by the greedy merchants who raise their prices exhobitantly for that day very the cheated you know.

mistyblue SG

Sure Support! Its exploitative and the inflation rate just for that day can range from 100 to 500%.
Besides, I am a believer and also romantic that one cannot turn on and turn off one's love.
I told my bf don't bother to do anything for that day. Its just too crazy. Besides, the rose will wither and the chocolates will make me fat.. Razz Very Happy

Anakin Jr SG

Hi thanx to everyone the replies, especially to ShrodingersCat, mistyblue & parn for the helpful advices...

Just started sch this week so been rely busy... my course is one where projects is a complusory component. So i'm kinda of "forced" to interact with others... i already found a grp with 2 guys (including me) & 3 gals.
The class culture is kinda open & friendly, prob 'cos everyone knows everyone is needed in such a course...

But somethings still remain the same, eg. my phone is still silent as the nite. I had a grand total of 3 calls only this week--- one frm a fren borrowing money (imagine how my mood roller coaster when i first pick up the phone..), the other calling 'cos he suspect he has HIV & a wrong number..

I'm rely hoping things will slowly turn for the better, where i'll hopefully find some normal, better frens who will call me out. Just for the sake of socializing, & not using me Confused

browniebaobao SG

with ur O level results, u could have retake ur science or humans to get 5 credits then can go poly mah. Why did u go pre u instead?

i failed my O level maths, retake one yr and still failed, given an option to go pre u but i din, i went to ite. Now in Poly liao.

I believe if u took a different step then, things might be different now.

Anakin Jr SG

Ya tod of that... always wondered if my life wld be drastically better (& better?) had i taken a diff step back then..

But what's past is past... i can't possibly change my past. Hopefully i can make somethk out of my present

browniebaobao SG

gd luck to u.

MRMUSICPRODUCER SG

i think u belong 2 the gen y category. nvr ever faced probs in life, pampered & sheltered by parents. get a grip & stop complaining. instead of whinning, u shd think of wat 2 do in life. u r still young & theres plenty of opportunities ahead 4 u. but these chances dont come knocking at your door. u have 2 get your lazy bum off tat comfortable sofa of yours & go work 4 it!!! a lot of ppl do not have a degree but tat doesnt mean they cant make it. u control your own destiny, do not let destiny control u. gd luck kid

sgcuteyboy SG

AnakinJr, I, Senior Darth Vadar will tell you this...I am your future if you dun wise and buck up as I am very similar to you. Turning 30 this yr. During young, 'O' levels not gd enough to go poly or JC, ended up studying private 'A' levels but only passed GP and flunked everything else. LL went NS, ord @ 21. Joined HDB for sponsorship of PT Architectural studies at SP. Did not even started the course cos discover passion not there and left to work in other lines. Was in sales for a few years and rejoined govt sector again cos tired of sales job. Did a Mgt studies Dip from SIM (PT) and only graduated towards late 20s and resigned from service cos really hate the stupid and mundane work routine.
Now I am only starting to look for what I really want in life. Really really regretted to have wasted more than a decade wandering and drifting nowhere. Crying or Very sad
Though I am 30 and should think and behave like a grown up man, sometimes I feel that I am a kid trapped in a man's body. To be honest, I still don't really know what I am looking for in life, in terms of my career, love life and ultimately, what makes me tick..
I think only god knows, and I seriously hope you will not be my duplicate, pal.

MRMUSICPRODUCER SG

Anakin Jr
Junior Member

Joined: 30 Apr 2005
Posts: 22

Send Message 10 July 2005 · 10:31 PM
Originally posted MRMUSICPRODUCER:

i think u belong 2 the gen y category. nvr ever faced probs in life, pampered & sheltered by parents. get a grip & stop complaining. instead of whinning, u shd think of wat 2 do in life. u r still young & theres plenty of opportunities ahead 4 u. but these chances dont come knocking at your door. u have 2 get your lazy bum off tat comfortable sofa of yours & go work 4 it!!! a lot of ppl do not have a degree but tat doesnt mean they cant make it. u control your own destiny, do not let destiny control u. gd luck kid

Hi Mr MRMUSICPRODUCER, UR reply was highly unwarrented & plain rude. My post was just a light hearted presentation of some probs i'm facing in life. If u read carefully, my main complain is a lack of quality friends & occasional loneliness...
I did mentioned studying hard for my diploma & hoping for the best in my current course.

So from where did u infer that i am a "nvr ever faced probs in life, pampered & sheltered by parents. get a grip & stop complaining. instead of whinning...lazy bum .."

Don't everyone face some problems, feel disocuraged at times?? What is the point of AA forum if one cannot express their problems in a candid manner.

Ur "thou holier than" attitude speaks a lot abt urself too... perhaps u shld do some serious reflections before shooting ur mouth off

hey jr, no need 2 send me private msgs. post it here 4 all 2 c. yes u r rite, i do have n attitude. but my attitude is 2 absorb wat ppl have 2 say instead of rebucking. 1 of the other sickening traits of the gen y is "always think they r rite". how r u goin 2 survive the real world? but still, i thank u 4 your comments.

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