Hi All,
I've read some things in this forum, as well as spoken to some
younger people (including my nephew, who's 6 years younger than I).
It occurred to me how my past views are echoed in these young
people, whereas my own thoughts about love have changed.
I used to imagine that love will all be roses, that my bf will
fetch me after classes (sometimes with roses in hand, of course
*giggles*), buys me soft toys, treats me to a meal
at Denny's, candlelit dinner on V Day & anniversaries, blah
blah blah... When there was a quarrel or argument, I'd get so upset
& break things off. There was ONE difference, however, I was
never 1 of those needy people My 1st love once told me he was so lucky that I'd let him
go out with his friends for boy's days out, etc...
I used to imagine that I'd marry a guy who's rich, driven, poised,
(maybe a banker, or lawyer?) with a fancy car... We'd work very
hard together & accumulate our wealth, then we'd enjoy holidays
& expensive meals, designer clothing, etc. We zip around town
in his fancy car.
I'm now 28 (fine, I'm NOT secretive about age, can?), & after
having relationships, I've realised what love, at least what works
for me, is all about (to me also, it doesn't necessarily work for
everybody). I learnt about commitment, to give 100% in the
relationship. When there're problems, of course I get upset, but it
isn't the end of the world, nor the end of the relationship. I
learnt Not to sweat the small stuff, & when we argue (which is
very seldom), 1 of us gives in pretty quickly, so that we don't
stay upset for too long.
I learnt that the 1 for me doesn't necessarily need to be rich nor
driven, as long as he spends time with me, & he feels I'm
perfect for him. I learnt that I don't need candlelit meals for
romance; dinners cooked by him are much more romantic, when I can
hold him from the back whilst he's stirring in the ingredients,
& when he feeds me little morsels to taste.
I learnt that to spoil someone doesn't necessarily mean to buy
little things for him now & then, but to give him my attention,
my time, my support & my affection. Hugs, kisses & words of
advice or just a listening ear are much better than a teddy bear
soft toy.
I learnt how much he loves me, is also partly measured by how much
he's willing to forgive me.........
I'm still learning everyday, & I thank my guy for the lessons
he taught me about love, forgiveness, tolerance & being happy
together.
Sorry for the long-winded blah blah blah, I'm just musing : ) Or
day-dreaming, as he calls it And I do it when I'm happy : )
FeowFeow
