Did u make the effort to understand in the first place why she
will feel this way? Think about what you have done in the past that
causes to r/s to break. Solve the problems within yourself before
you start to drag someone else with you.
You think that the problem is she scare the feeling will never
be the same again? Did you confirm this with her? I hope that you
are not puting what you thinking she is meaning into her
mind.
You say that you have army obligations and so you neglected her,
but now you are out of army you are ready to commit. Are you sure?
Won't you have other commitments later in life? Job, studies? If so
will you neglect her again?
As you said she is insercure, then you should know what is the
thing she scares the most. The inability for you to commit in the
past definitely has made her not wanting to get into a r/s with you
again.
You say you can commit. Don't just say, do it and show it to her.
You said she is insercure, so you need to prove it by action. But
you said she is pressured by you. So just show her what you can do
for her without persuading her to get back into a r/s with you
again. Only ask her that when you think she is feeling more
comfortable with you in the future.
You said you know your mistake, but from your reply, it seems that
you have projected all your mistakes to other things beside
yourself. The army, and your ex. Do pay attention to this.
If she doesn't have any confidence in a r/s with you, you will
want to make her have the confidence. So show it! Don't just
talk... You having the confidence alone is of no point. She needs
to have the confidence in it too and the source must come from you.
Just show her what you can do for her and build the confidence in
her. Do not mention about patchup at all.
However, if you think that all these are too much for you, you
still have the second option... respect her decision and give
up.