Originally posted by Yunhaier:
There is a hidden message behind this vicious cycle;
one that you may not realise. This happens to almost all who
experience the same situations over and over again - that is you
prevented closing that chapter subconsciously. Ironnically, you
want to close, but you are not willing to shut that valve
completely and allow the drain water to seep through and pollute
your area. [b]What you are doing is trying to clean up the
mess made by the drain water and ignore the dripping
source. These extra work
made you tired, worn-out and drained.
You see, you made the first move and left him, but you
didn't exactly 'left'. Your soul is still within
his grasp and you return the minute he exploit your vulnerability
and weakness. Furthermore, he did employed one crucial element in
his art of seduction - to be omipotent and make his presence known
everywhere. You want to forget, but
things/place/talks/situations/people/etc force you to return to
this torturous mental cage and you felt that you can't escape his
clutches. 
To avoid him will result in gradual avoidance in your good friend.
You have to, if you wished to retain any form of healed sanity and
use logics to combat deceptive romance enchanted by your ex-bf.
There is no point in trying to help your good friend because
you are NOT the suitable
candidate to. In assisting, you hurt two ways.
Don't.
It's all in the mind - you did what you could now. To slash
whatsoever contacts you have with him. To do is simple - you need
to upkeep them.
Avoid eyes (physical/virtual meetings), avoid ears (phone, talks,
message, conversation with others regarding to him), avoid lips
(Don't talk about him or discuss anything regarding to him -
condemn and believe) connection that may fuel your vulnerability.
Strengthen yourself and learn to become immune to his words. (Art
of Seduction Law 10 - Power of Demonic words)
***
Regarding your current bf - I fear for your future
if your heart isn't completely subdued in name of your
relationship. You see, by putting your bf and your ex-bf together
is like heaven and hell because your ex-bf is hell of a jerk and
the key is that almost anyone would seemed better beside him.
When you move along the route of your relationship and if you lose
focus and begin to wonder what you are truely looking for - your
current bf's position will likely to shake and get unstable. (E.g.
Rotten apple beside any good apple will appear to be godly. This
good apple put beside many other good apples, will lose its
position of being godly)
Cheers [/b]
To continue with the drain water analogy, I tink the order's
been reversed. I wasn't clearing up the water while ignoring the
source of trouble. I capped/taped/bound the source up tight while
cleaning up the mess. We have to clean it up at some point dun we?
The cap tore/loosened/broke when I was clearing up the mess,
tinking that it was secure. I got drenched and all upset, feeling
guilty for letting myself in such a situation. It happens... time
and again.
So... I suppose the gist of your msg was I should have plastered
the hole up for good. And I'm trying. Really... Perhaps I thought
and prolly still tink that the best way to solve the problem would
be facing them in the flesh and deal with it. And mebbe like my
fren advised, it was too soon and fast.
I guess... in a way, I needed to hear about them. I needed to hear
that they're well and fine. It settles me.
About the comparison btwn the both of them, it wasn't intentional.
I juz meant that my current bf is loads better. And it's not juz
when compared to C but to almost all the guys around me. But you're
right about the seeking wat i truly want part.
I guess everyone out there has seen/heard/witnessed/experienced
settling for second best. But, has anyone ever considered wat's
best? Sure... U can have a whole list of do's and don'ts regarding
the partner of your dreams but... will you ever find that person?
If you dun, will u settle for 'second best'? If you dun have a
fixed list of qualities etcetc, does ur current partner fit the
image? Will such a person come along? Are you willing to give up a
perfectly workable r/s in the search of an utopian one?
