Going in circles

last SG · 2004-07-24T02:08:42+00:00

Dun worry... If i'm not the tiniest bit in love with him we wouldn't have been tog for 2 years. I am... I appreciate him for being everything that he is and...

M©+square SG

Originally posted by Yunhaier:

How are you going to face them in the flesh and solve when the actual problem isn't about YOU alone; its more about him. Yes, you did tried to impart theories of a proper, serious long term, one-one relationship and did attempt to evolve the 'bad guy' he originally was. It didn't work that way isn't it?

I used to tell my other friends who fell into similiar trap like yours: if previously all who had tried in his other relationships had failed to change (thus his character currently still), what made you think you could? This is a risk you choose to take.

It's not about having the second best, best or whatsoever category there is; its about a choice. [b]Every relationship presents an opportunity to power or degenerate yourself. The ones you will love to love probably degenerate you (ex-bf) because the elements you seek clashes with visions you had in proper relationship. To like a bad boy style, but wishes a husband-material in view of long term relationship is a case so common, I could name many of the people around me.

P.S: We all make choices everyday. Sometimes when we pick a route, it may not be wise to look backward and drive forward at the same time. We will eventually crash into a lamp post or other moving cars. Once we are confident about our route, go along with it. Leave and do the things you ought to do and be firm. You need to heal your soul and had to learn to prevent injury to old wounds. Idea

Cheers[/b]

That's why there's Dating Tips Forum Twisted Evil

Devil1976 SG

Mr. Green

You should put the link in your signature a 'blue' so that it's easier for people to notice it's a LINK and click on it? Wink

'm back SG

i dun know lah.
but yesterday i stepped on a dog's tail and got a bite from it.....
so pain u know.

then i know not to step on dog's tail coz i need my legs to 'walk a longer road ahead.

then again (leg still pain) i saw another dog and again i stepped on it's tail
and got beaten again.

silly me Mr. Green

so i decided to post it here in this forum...how?

Jazzytunez SG

Hi, i can see from here that you still have feelings for him. Your head tells you " Don't be stupid lah, he is making use of you and so and so and so " and yet you still can't get over him. Why?

This is how i see it...

You had a relationships with him, been through alot because of him. That why you will have such nostalgic/ strong memories or attachment for him and upon seeing your friend like this, remind you of what happened to you and reminded you of your hopes of trying to change him. You still believe in that hope do you? You still have a tinge of feeling for him? ( cos he did many sweet things for you, like helping you when you are down, considering the bond that you 2 have once had ) but does he really love you or is he making use of you??? or Maybe C has problem of his own, like having a phobic to commitment; staying faithful to other party or perhap a sex addict Laughing .

I must say, it's quite futile to change a person. Love is about accepting the person as who he is. An individual has his own thought, if he wants to change, it's has to be his own decision.

I think it really normal for you to feel the way you feel now. Hey you are human and has feeling. It not easy to let go off things right? even though you know that you have to. It's take time to forget about that guy and release all the feelings you have had for him. And you have a really nice boyfriend now!
Why look back? Look forward, dear!

Jazzytunez SG

Originally posted by nymrod:
Yeap have been doing all of the above.

With regards to my current bf, I tink i dun really need one. The reason why we got tog in the first place was becuz he was so persistent and [b]I dun wanna hurt him. But I can truthfully say that we have a happy r/s, albeit an independent one on my part. I can live w/o seeing him or calling him etcetc but not the other way.

b]

Hey,ERRRRR......... are you sure you are happy in your present relationship? Or are you trying to psycho yourself to be grateful that you have a nice boyfriend and not being true to yourself? I see you trying to be a Martyr for there C guy and now your present bf. I must say you are very noble but abit foolish. (no offence =)). i know most gers will rather have a guy to love them more than they love the guys, esp after they were hurt by a guy whom they love more than the guy do. After getting hurt, their outlook and needs change ( can't help it at all ) but just don't end up hurting the guy and yourself, yeah? cos' the guy may again look for a girl who will love them more than they love the girl. Then the vicious cycle will ride on.

There is no such thing as the best love. Every relationships you have had is unique in experience. Your present relationships is still being experienced, it's unfair to compare it with your previous one. In addition, the previous relationship is over. Look for love? Look at the present and see your answer.

Axelheat755 SG

hmm i think ur bf has an inferior complex issue, he thinks u're too good for him, u're a godsend. He's afraid u'll leave him, yet he's unwilling be a hinderance to ur "happiness". Thats why he always say go if u have a better person chasing u.

im sure he is not stupid... he does think about the relationship with u but he is not convinced that u r his. he is feeling very insecure n he's scared if he voice his true view, u'll leave him. in a way he's constantly testing u n u're starting to wear thin in patience as u wait for him to open up his mind n heart to u.

u really have to talk to him, heart to heart n convince him that u love him, not out of gratitude, but for who he is. as u said , u'll be frequently travelling so that will confirm be another mental obstacle for him to overcome. u have to be very patience with him.

only my 2 cents. good luck.

PS: ur bf character a bit like mine so maybe my insight may be useful to u. but then of course i could be wrong Laughing

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