I need advise

Exhaustedrau SG

Well, I'm coming 22 this year, a simple girl who wants somebody to settle down with.

Apparently I have came to know my boyfriend on 27 Feb and get together on 29 Feb this year... I know that we are too fast but apparently its all by nature you see...

I came to know that he is on seperation now and he is in big debts... What should I do?

Devil1976 SG

Originally posted by Exhaustedrau:
Well, I'm coming 22 this year, a simple girl who wants somebody to settle down with.

Apparently I have came to know my boyfriend on 27 Feb and get together on 29 Feb this year... I know that we are too fast but apparently its all by nature you see...

I came to know that he is on seperation now and he is in big debts... What should I do? www.livejournal.com/users/harleyrau/[/b]

That's a funny question? What do you wish to do? Cool

BaByBoY SG

u should haf been more careful..
ur pics are lying ard for the public eye..

SunRisE SG

Separation?? he's married.. not divorced yet..

a short period of time to knw and get together is a risk taking.. you have not even fully understand him..

jus becos.. you wanna settle down.. and he's on separation.. both need someone to be there.. so happen you both come together as couple..

you may be simple.. but marriage is a kind of commitment.. is not kids playing toys.. and you're still young.. you got lots of time choosing one that really suits you.. and not anyhow pick one.. jus be cos you wanna settle down.. Rolling Eyes

One reason of divorce rate goin up.. Ppl take marriage too easy.. get along come together.. dun get along divorce.. simple..

Pls reconsider your this relationship seriously..... from there you see how you wanna go...

Nelstar SG

Before you two can get married, he must file his divorce papers.

First of all you need to know the situation behind the separation if the person you loved is still considering getting back to his wife. That would be unfair on your side.

Do not get sexually involved with him as it might actually cause more unnecessary problems for him, especially when serving the papers.

You must always understand that a male divorcee stands on losing grounds in a divorce paper as his wife will benefit on certain issues and you must be willing to accept these outcomes should his current wife continue to be a divorcee (never remarried).

You must be prepared mentally to accept the peer pressure, especially from family members if you're getting together with a man who divorced his wife. You must be able to withstand the rumours and all the aftermath especially since you are together with him since the separation.

There are other considerations which I will probably add on later.

The decision is yours, follow not the voices, but your heart.

Nelstar SG

About debts.

Is he bankrupt or still clearing his debts?

What debts are he owing?

These are the things you might clarify so that we can offer our advice and opinions.

Yunhaier SG

You are playing with a gas-leaking bunsen burner.

You are a simple girl, but the man you are getting is no simple man.

Too hasty in entering relationship; passion will cease much faster. Nothing wrong with a separated man - but a combination of outrage deception and financial instability will cripple relationship to certain death.

Since you know the truth, before you make any decision: lay your cards on the table and make your man talk - about the full story. Do not take whatever he says, listen carefully and update here.

Cheers

M©+square SG

Heed the advice well and you'll be on the safer side.

gerrykoh SG

My advise- drop him cos you are still young & he is so problematic

gaoyue SG

Bravo! Well said! And you must make sure he clear his debts before marrying him, one golden rule. Marriage ain't child's play, its for life. And find out why the hell he wanna spilt from his wife in the first place.

chunyong SG

wah, i coming to 23 dis yr and i have totally no intention to settle down until i finish my studies. heh. if he is in big debts, it wouldn't be wise to settle down with him at the moment as you all will face bigger financial problems unless u are so rich as to be able to pay off his debts and stuff like that. it takes more than pure love to settle down, u need to plan ahead...

CaReLING SG

seems to me like you are entering a danger zone.

the man is finding a shelter to share the burden with him

but your life will indeed be harder, to be living with debts is a very very hard thing. not only you want to get on with life, you have to pay off debts. It is very frustrating when times go by.....

my_name_is_Natasha SG

x2

men scared enter wrong career
women scared marry wrong guy...

Exhaustedrau SG

He is going to sign the dirvorce papers by Aug 2005 which falls on my birthday month! I have ask around and observed him and the people whom we mingled with... Things are just getting out of hand when he is unsure about law issues.. That's why his ex wife had swollow him big time now...

Therefore now I'm feeding him with alot of informations and guide him thru with Lawyers' advise...

I was thinking that we got long way to go, therefore I'm rushing into things... We are not getting into any marriage topic thou he did tell me his plans. However I'm not looking into this topic at all.

New issues araising:
My Dad detest him, HOW? But he don't know bout his unhealthy background...

Well, If I would to follow my heart, I will have to overcome all the things with him.

pipi & poot-poot SG

Originally posted by Exhaustedrau:
Well, I'm coming 22 this year, a simple girl who wants somebody to settle down with.

Apparently I have came to[b] know my boyfriend on 27 Feb and get together on 29 Feb this year... I know that we are too fast but apparently its all by nature you see...

I came to know that he is on seperation now and he is in big debts... What should I do? [/b]

Shocked Shocked Shocked

luv at 1st sight?

usually sumdin dat feels very, very rite, always can hurt u very very bad.....

ppl always marry bcos of 'Lurrrrrve'......but dey nev seperate w/o a reason.....

do u know wat drove his wife away?

PS: u probably shudn't b listenin 2 jus his side of d story too

Exhaustedrau SG

I wished I could listen to his ex wife story too however I can't. For what I have know from the guys that his wife is very materistic and not understanding.. Therefore, he tried to resolve the problems but his ex wife still commit the same old mistake few days after the talking...

He had told me that he didn't wished to see me in this state too as he know that its very unfair for me to undergo such situation. Neither he wants to.. He is sad to see me suffer and can't be happy when I stand with him thru these shit cos He doesn't wants me to go thru all these doh...

pipi & poot-poot SG

when a man learns 2 luv.....he oso learns to wait...

u'r 22.....giv it some time......if u rily mean s much 2 him, like him 2 u, his heart wil find his way back.....

if u decide 2 marry him now, u'r not letin him make a fair choice......

u'r makin d statement :" i cherish u...d day u divorce her, i wil b at d altar waitin..."

i admire ur courage 2 folo ur heart & i wish 4 blessins upon u.....

dats y i'd hate 4 u 2 make a wrong choice & end up sumwhere u dun belong.....

gerrykoh SG

Seriously, take my advice. Don’t marry him yet cos he has so many problems & your dad don’t like him. Better to remain single & be carefree than stuck to a mistake!

Forever84 SG

You know you should seriously consider about getting invloved with someone who has a serious debt problem outside
might cause u much distress, mayb u should end it soon or at least see how things go with his debts.
Wait he make u pay for his debts :X

Devil1976 SG

Personally.. I think ALL THIS would be too much for you to bear. What kinda of thick and thin have you gone through with him?

The journey's gonna be tough and long... Don't let yourself be covered in the mist... You'll probably lost your way...