Originally posted by jarc:
Hi Rau, I can understand how you feel and sometimes it
feels like there's nothing wrong with loving someone. It's good
that you can think that you are rushing into anything. As everyone
has been trying to put the point across to you, take your time and
know what you are getting yourself into.
In my point of view, this situation can be broken down into 2
different parts. His marriage/divorce (with his wife) and his
relationship (with you).
[b]His marriage/divorce (with his wife)
Do you know FOR SURE that they are really saperated? And if he is
really seperated and going to be divorced, be prepared for the
entire process to take about 3 yrs or so. Don't forget the dangers
for him if he is seen having a girlfriend (adultery) - the damages
to him can be devastating. Womans Charter in SGP will fight for a
woman.
So also remember that the divorce is not the end of his and his
wife relationship. After divorce and all the settlements have been
made, he may still have to pay alimony to his wife monthly for the
rest of HER LIFE or until she remarries. Think carefully and ask
yourself if you can accept that.
His relationship (with you)
Being with a divorced man has it's hazards, like his past. A
persons character is moulded by the storms he has riden through
life. Has he become a better or worse person after his 1st
marriage? Do you know what he was like during his first marriage to
make any comparisons? Will he change further for better or worse
once he's full time with you?
As for the psycological point of view, are you able to accept him
for who he is now, and for the rest of your life together? Are you
able to put the image of him being once married and sharing a house
and bed with another woman before away? Are you able to put enough
trust in him and yourself and not wonder if he can get divorce
once, he can do it again?
you don't have to give your answers here,
these questions are for you to think about and answer yourself -
you owe yourself that much! Remember, sometimes relationships are
like whirlwinds, they sweep us up and we get all mixed up and
muddle-headed. But don't lose sight of your values and the big
picture.[/b]
I like the way u draft out the whole senario as that is what I
have been asking myself. I shall wait and see... Anything I will
update you guys... Thanks guys... Your really very
great!!!
