Anti-social

StarPuppy SG

sgboy2004 SG

go for outing here lor... Croco organise for u want or not Laughing

deathstar SG

My friend invite me to a party a few times but then I always reject,not say the ppl there I dunno,but not very well,I could make more friends but I scared I go,I act very anti-social but fact I scared of making myslef look stupid and ppl treat me even more anti-social

Any Ideas on how to improve meself?

first of all... be presentable. wat they said ah, first impression last or something. Razz
anyway, try to smile, not smile stupidly or too wide kinds. then dun think so much lah.

hopy SG

juz be confident of urself and u will be fine Cool

Yunhaier SG

Because you fear how others would see you, you became defensive and acted anti social. If you want to expand social circle, drop that attitude for it will hinder your social networking.

Be yourself and stop being so conscious, with regards to yourself. You do not have to know everyone to be yourself in the party - since you want to enlarge social circle, there is no point if you knew everyone there very well.

Cheers

on tenterhooks SG

StarPuppy,

i was like you as well....let me share wif you a way out.

Everytime a friend invite you to a party, think this way. I am going to the party because for my friend took the effort to invite me...I'm going there for my friend's sake...nobody else. If I chat up with someone, it's a good to have...If I din chat with with anyone, at least me being there is a form of me showing my friend that i appreciated his/her gesture of inviting me.

Shift your focus from yourself towards your friend...it's difficult but it's not impossible. Practice this mentality enough and you'll get there! Wink

ditzy SG

I don't get invited to parties very often due to my old age and lameness. So you should take the chance my dear StarPuppy. Laughing

M©+square SG

There are lots of insecurities in yourself.
You'd rather keep your present friends and dare not thread upon other opportunties of widening your circle. Or even to allow your friends to see the fun side of yourself.

What you are facing now is a esteem problem.
People with low self esteem never feel in charge of their own lives. They often feel like victims. They feel like outsiders, left out, unimportant....blah blah blah

What you are doing now is to put yourself down and elevate others before you, making them seemed a much authoritative figure compared to you. This is called Disempowerment.
No one else could take away your empowerment, only yourself.
Not that they have power over you....but you have disarmed youself of the power.
They are your friends for heaven sake. You don't have to seek approval for whatever you do!

Every time you think, I cant do this, you are creating your own reality, and that makes you exactly right. You cant! When you tell yourself that you dont deserve something then you dont. It really is as simple as that. What you tell yourself is true.
Stop all those sick thoughts and tell youself to be positive.
If need be, you should go to the mirror and speak to yourself.

Please be responsible of your own life and take charge of it. Earn your esteem by treating yourself right and refuse self conciousness anymore.
Stop being a people pleaser. It won't get you anywhere.

1-Mix around with positive people, confident friends.

2-Make a positive contribution to others, you begin to feel more valuable, which increases your sense of your own value and raises your self esteem

3-Involve yourself in work and activities that you love.

4-Start getting to parties and activities!

p.s
If you feel self-conscious in a social situation, it's usually because you don't have enough to do! Focus on what your purpose in the situation is. Whether you're there to:

-find out if you like the other people in the situation
-make others feel comfortable
-find out some information

Hope you'll get something out from this,
Yunnie had shared the gist of his post. Here's my addition.

Cheers Neutral

my_name_is_Natasha SG

Just go there and enjoy the food, the music lor... relax and enjoy....
dun be too bothered by how others look at you...

gaoyue SG

i not really anti social, but i don't like socialising without a clear purpose, anyways, in that kind of situations, which we must face one way or another is that, you just act nice, smile more, and act interested in others. when people speak, pretend they are very interesting and funny or whatever, and you are paying attention to them. just remember the focus is never on yourself but others.

supposingly, once people likes you, you won't feel discomfort or anything le, than you'll like socialising with anybody even strangers in parties or whatever. im just naturally quiet and prefer to cut staright to the point. Wink its not a bad thing, anti social is completely rejecting and denying any social contacts.. which you are not, you just lack the experience. its okay to look stupid, just don't remain stupid.

M©+square SG

Correct theory, but very 'hypocritically' delievered. Rolling Eyes

The rest are good points.

gerrykoh SG

It is good that u are invited. That means people like u. Don’t be so conscious abt. how to entertain & behave towards your friends. Act natural! Be a good listener cos everyone likes to talk abt. themselves. Be sporting & participate in activities. Don’t ignore the shy ones. It is good to network & get to know more people. Once u get the hang of it, should be very easy & u will be more confident.

barkhide SG

There is only one thing you need to do...that is to go there.... and leave the rest to your spirit within..

Bontakun SG

Juz go, if U still scared, bring me along. I MAKE SURE U can make all those frens in da party.

kaobeikaobu SG

hmm...u ve got quite plentiful of good advices frm ppl here...
puppy, go to one first...take it easy..you're not paid to entertain...so dun stress...so are the rest you see there...talk to one first would be a nice start...
tell yourself "no obligation, I'm sure there's someone whom I can talk to"
just be sincere...that won't definitely make you look stupid....unless you act like krusty...

NeonTetra SG

be yourself and yet be open to the people there? dun have the idea that ppl will treat u like alien....be normal and friendly. Smile

gaoyue SG

well, i need to survive through all those wedding dinners, relative gatherings.. crap stuff, all these years, if not mommy not happy.

but i still prefer to be myself. Smile

StarPuppy SG

I dunno what I am really like,since small,I always stay at home,I rarely go out except to library or friends house…sometimes most outings talks $$$

antoh SG

being what you are is the best

Devil1976 SG

Well... You would still have to start somewhere...? Wink