Friendship at stake

bearx SG

I have meet a friend who i think really has brought life to and shine the light of hope on me. My previous friendships with people who i treasure turned out to be a fiasco becoz of many reasons like one-sided relationship and love relationship which clashes.

So, now it's basically deja vu again. A friend who i think i have been looking for, because he is special and has meet my expectations of what a friend is, is now sort of in love with a girl. I do get abit jealous as times becoz i don't get the attention. There's one night where i can say it's e happiest night becoz of the declaration we've made for each other but then it lasted for onli 2 days.. before things starts to fall apart. His love is in conflicts with our friendship!

Now i need help. The friendship that i've always wanted is now falling apart. Should i save this friendship? or just let it go? This would also means that i have to give him more space for him and his new found gf. Am i being selfish by being protective of him? It hurts to see our bonds getting loose especially when he is "the one".

Bontakun SG

So many bears...

I wanna ask: U wan yr fren to be happy? If U do, let him go. IF he oso value da frenship as much as U do, he will NOT forget & WILL return to U 1, WITH or WITHOUT da gal. Mr. Green

FUMO!!!

bearx SG

Im not too sure if im should let it go. This friendship is like a fulfilled desire which i have always wanted all my life. A great friendship which i should hold on. But to think of it, i should allow it more space for him and myself to breathe. That’s what im currently doing, although it’s painful to see e bond loosen up. Resemblance of water molecules losing it cohesive bonding.

the Bear SG

so, who is he actually in love with?

audlenelee SG

/me confused

dumbdumb! SG

... what u mean when u say friendship then one sided love relationship?

if u like that fella, then dun say friendship, dun confuse 2 diff things..

www SG

i dont know about others but i always regard no matter how strong a friendship is, it still means we all live our own lives.

being a good friend of another individual doesnt mean owning his or her life and should do everything together.

bearx SG

i was abit rushy on that... sorry.

THey are 2 different thing. One sided friendship is meant by me giving in all the time while the other party isnt. I treasure this friendship soo much e other party dun seem to see it's significance to me. That's one-sided.

Love relationship would mean.. a friend who found a gf and sort of like neglect me and forget me totally. So, i dun see the balance there.... so turned out sour.

audlenelee SG

*applaud*

www SG

err... i believe the story here is..

bearx has a good friend.
his good friend spending more time with another girl.
therefore, his good friend gotta spend less time with him.
thus, he is jealous.
he think his good friend is jepordizing the friendship because of this..

and yes... bearx is a he here.

bearx SG

Not really in love. It's jus that he feels much comfortable with this girl in class (not to mentioned, she's cute). But from the way he treats her, it's like their into something

dumbdumb! SG

woo... okok.. tot it sounded gay and all that..

hmm. lol

well, ppl change, things change.. we just hv to get on with our lives.. i get what u mean though..

but dun worry abt it.. being a friend don't mean just spending time together or watever.

being a friend means to be there whenever he needs help, or be his guide thru life, be a good guide of course.

correcting him when he is wrong. giving advices. being there.

the Bear SG

i didn't check profile, but i coulda sworn those would have been words written by a woman who is secretly in love with her friend.. and is not willing to say it Razz

bearx, you need to go out, make more friends..

i would be brutal here.. he needs space... to live his life.. what if he falls for her and marries her?

his time would be for her and his future family and rightly so.. but his friendship, if you respect him enough to make his own decisions, will always be yours...

btw.. what happens if you find some woman you love?

bearx SG

Well, quite true i guess. So what do u guys suggest me to do? How can i make a win-win situation?

audlenelee SG

reminds me of 2 frenz... they (guys) are together like almost everyday... almost like partners... Confused are boys so 'sticky' nowadays...??

JeweL81 SG

Are you being abit too possesive?

the Bear SG

give him his space and be his friend...

learn what friendship entails..

and then, again, be his friend...

bearx SG

Oh well, i suppose u guys are right. I think the mistake here i've gotta learnt to carry on with life but still holding on to the memories and the friendships that i once had. They are my support pillow. I suppose my philosophy of friendship has been tuned at a pretty bad angle. No wonder i suffered so much. Gee...

dumbdumb! SG

bearx... u guy or girl..?

lol i just want to settle whether u gay or gal..

cuz i'm seriously disturbed lol Razz

www SG

with regards to this friend, i cant advise much. after all, i dont know him, let alone knowing how he would think.

but i sure can advise what you should expect of yourself.

widen your circle a little more. dont think that there is only one friend in this world for the rest of your life.

respect what others like to do. a good friend is always someone who support in almost whatever you are doing.