Very confused n insecure

peacely SG

jus to let u know , i have read this book b4 and i have read other versions of it too. but to some extent, i am not very sure if its true.
it may only applies for guys on general only.

loneryu00 SG

Oei...... -______-

To Mc... yup, he seems serious... Wink

& to Peacely... (Coz Dis time I took much time to read EVERYTHING... I agree MOST wif Yun & gonna reinforce his statements.) U as a Leo is quite open & blunt... (noe dat...), He as a Capricorn tends to be more quiet & deep... There r times U have to tink b4 U comment... (As fellow Leo, I noe... Wink )

Actually yr galfrens ARE correct to sae U, but Yun & da rest here r oso correct! Every1 have their own views & r ALL correct... BUT its their own views... meaning in da end its YOU who decide dat matters... I can understand y yr galfrens said dat... but remember, they r girls... NOT guys... they r tinking & commenting on a gal's pt of view... wat abt guys? Remember wat yr galfrens said to U... dump da guy? Its virtually shaping U to a perfect person in their mind... Like U trying to shape yr BF in da 1st place... ironic, isnt it?

Actually when U took da initiative to reconcile wif him, U did CORRECT... I can sae he appreciate it ALOT, any guys would... U noe how difficult it is for guys to take da initiative to ask a gal he likes? Imagine da fear of rejection or failure? can totally shatter his confidence & there goes another good man... If da gal goes 1st, U score BIG wif da guy... Wink

U may feel insecure, but U shld ask yrself y give unnecessary stress when its actually so simple? Juz love him! Dats it! Juz love him all U can, U dun bother by how long can it last, where is da R/S gonna take U, etc, etc... Coz wif all these "limitations", its gonna pull U down. Juz like in an exam, U aim for 70, but U fear U cld not get dat score, it WILL grind into yr mind till dat dae & torture U until U make or break & in da end, normally U BREAK. Let dat go... juz do da best, dun hope for anything dat can give U unnecessary stress... da more natural U feel, da better U can do it... in da end, U will NOT believe U can get higher than 70, COZ U dun give yrself stress...

My points here r based NOT on BGR... but more towards life... U dun worry abt all those unnecessary stuffs, juz love him naturally. If its meant to be, then its meant to be. Can means can, cannot means cannot. Dun add all those things dat CAN contribute to da "cannot"... Mr. Green

Yunhaier SG

The difference in here is the kind of preception between the two people. Woman, being on the more sensitive side - and when the kind of showering of love and concern isn't constant - they will feel it - its not suprising.

For your bf - its more about how he treat you when you both of you come together as a date - its when love is being shower and hugs & kisses are exchanged - of course, it feels good. But when he is working - his attention and devotion are gone to the work or the surrounding - the thoughts of girlfriend isn't forgotten - it is there, but not expressed it to you that's all. Rolling Eyes

You extra sensitivity comes from the fact about the relationship that had took placed in the past - which made you feel and concern deeply over little strange weird seemingly treatment you receive. You mentioned that you are expecting too much - the real reason is that you grew thinking too much - which indirectly sparks alot of unneccessary worries. Rolling Eyes

Advice?

You feel insecure, you have your own right to your own feeling. The next time when the both of you meet, talk to him and say that this insecurity is affecting you - ask him for a morning sms everytime he wake up whenever possible - treat it as if it is a natural action like opening your eyes when you wake up. Then if he don't sms that morning - for every two times he fails to do it - he owes you a day to company you go shopping or something - make relationship interesting, work towards solving problem and probably spend more time together. One stone kill 3 birds. Twisted Evil

Cheers

peacely SG

u know , i did told him abt this insecurity and he says tt this is the way he is.He is not trying to be "hot n cold" but this is his normal reaction.
& its also true that i am very blunt and always talk without thinking much.i guess he has been hurt by a couple of times . Twisted Evil

i cant help to admit tt i am someone who thinks a lot and constantly observed a lot abt my r/s.but i hope theres a way to stop this. Somes times when i cant think through, i feel very frustrated and confused abt it.

Now that i truly understand the reasons behind the ways he treats me, i didnt want to force too much from him to be consistent. but i guess, if i really got a need for some consistent concern, i would request it. Embarassed

Haven SG

Rolling Eyes To love and being Loved in turn....

Yunhaier SG

See that's the thing: differences in preception and expectation. To him is a normal reaction and to you; it seemed isn't enough which accounted for the seemingly hot and cold treatment to you and normal reaction to him. Rolling Eyes

Think alot about your relation is good because you constantly reflect and improve - but to the extend of affecting this relationship, you need to cool down for a moment because all this worries and pondering will have negative effect. Keep things simple! A simple relationship will be easy going and smoothier for you. Rolling Eyes

Ask any other forum mates who thinks alot when it comes to relationship and they will tell you the same thing: It sux when you can't ponder through and get stuck in your brain.

Your imprisonment comes from the past and the fear of the future - learn to release yourself and improve. Once you get through this cage of yours - you will truely appreciate the beauty of your own love without the worrying and pondering part. Wink

Cheers

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