Hi H_Koala,
Don't feel sad, or dejected that you have not found the right girl.
I nkow it's easier said that done.
Let me share my story with you.
From a rather tender age, things started out for me as puppy love.
I see someone whom I think I like and I try to "chase" her. Well, I
never really got together with anyone that way.
As the years went by, going through Sec Sch, I thought I really
liked someone and made efforts to let her know that I liked her. It
was still puppy love. The same happened in JC days. I think you're
getting the picture.
Then in my NS days, I met a Malaysian girl. We hit it off quite
well. I even called her occasionally over the phone to her place in
KL (cost me a lot of NS pay). But that taught how to talk with a
girl over the phone (with the short 5min we had each time coz I
only could afford $5 phone cards).
That "relationship" (if you can even call it one) didn't last very
long.
I then met a church girl in my NS days. I thought she was the one
for me. In the end, found out she was only interested in getting me
to go to her church (I was "abandoned" once we reached the
destination).
Life went on and I was in my NUS days. I met some girls, not for
anything but just friends. I liked some of them, but never asked
any if we could go steady. Then in my 3rd year, I met a junior. I
thought we really had something going. She was nice and all. We
went out together sometimes after school. But when I asked her to
be my girlfriend, she told me she had boyfriend already (but was
going to breakup). So I waited with patience. One day after exams,
she left me a note. It was to end our "relationship".
So you see, to that point, I've never really been in a real
relationship. Before any could really take off, it already crashed
and burned.
Later on, I met someone. We got along very well. We could share
happy moments and sad moments together. But at the back of my mind
was the preparation that we might not even last beyond this. I was
preparing myself for rejection. That way, I wouldn't feel hurt if
things didn't work out. I just played the normal guy and was myself
all the time. No longer was I all out to impress the girl. I just
decided to be myself.
And lo behold, over time, we grew closer and closer and finally
now, we are a couple.
The point I'm trying to make is that you don't have to feel sad or
miserable that a relationship does not take off. Trust that there
will be someone out there for you eventually. You just haven't met
her yet.
That was how I found my girlfriend.
I hope this helps.
Regards, Colin Teo
