PIG FARMER
A farmer buys several pigs, hoping to breed them for ham, bacon,
etc. After several weeks, he notices that none of the pigs are
getting pregnant and calls a vet for help.
The vet tells the farmer that he should try artificial
insemination. The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this
means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, he only asks the
vet how he will know when the pigs are pregnant. The vet tells him
that they will stop standing around and will instead, lie down and
wallow in the mud when they are pregnant. The farmer hangs up and
gives this some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial
insemination means that he has to impregnate the pigs.
So, he loads the pigs into his truck, drives them out into the
woods, has sex with them all, brings them back and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the pigs. Seeing that they
are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try
didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out
to the woods, bangs each pig twice for good measure, brings them
back and goes to bed. Next morning, he wakes to find the pigs still
just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds
to load them up and drives them out to the woods. He spends all day
shagging the pigs and, upon returning home, falls listlessly into
bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look
at the pigs. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the pigs
are lying in the mud.
"No," she says, "They're all in the truck and one of them is
honking the horn."
