Some article to share..
It is not uncommon for Christians to have questions about
forgiveness. Forgiveness does not come easy for most of us. Our
natural instinct is to recoil in self-protection when we've been
injured. We don't naturally overflow with mercy, grace and
forgiveness when we've been wronged.
Is forgiveness a conscious choice, a physical act involving the
will, or is it a feeling, an emotional state of being? The Bible
offers insight and answers to these and many more common questions
about forgiveness. We'll take a look at the most common questions
and find out what the Bible says about forgiveness.
Is forgiveness a conscious choice, or an emotional state?
I believe forgiveness is a choice we make through a decision of our
will, motivated by obedience to God and his command to
forgive.
The Bible instructs us to forgive as the Lord forgave us:
Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive
whatever grievances you may have against one another.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
(NIV)
How do we forgive when we don't feel like it? How do we translate
the decision to forgive into a change of heart?
We forgive by faith, out of obedience. Since forgiveness goes
against our nature, we must forgive by faith, whether we feel like
it or not. We must trust God to do the work in us that needs to be
done so that the forgiveness will be complete. [[ hihi, i believe
forgiveness does not go against our nature, not really sure if the
author is right to say there, up to individual to use their own
wisdom to judge what God really meant 
........isis ]]
I believe God honors our commitment to obey Him and our desire to
please him when we choose to forgive. He completes the work in his
time. We must continue to forgive (our job), by faith, until the
work of forgiveness (the Lord's job), is done in our hearts.
Philippians 1:6
And I am certain that God, who
began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is
finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.
(NLT)
How will we know if we have truly forgiven?
Corrie Ten Boom, a Christian woman who survived a Nazi
concentration camp during the Holocaust, said,"Forgiveness is to
set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you."
We will know the work of forgiveness is complete when we experience
the freedom that comes as a result. We are the ones who suffer most
when we choose not to forgive. When we do forgive, the Lord sets
our hearts free from the anger, bitterness, resentment and hurt
that previously imprisoned us.
Most times, however, forgiveness is a slow process.
Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came to Jesus and
asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he
sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you,
not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (NIV)
This answer by Jesus makes it clear that forgiveness is not easy
for us. It's not a one-time choice and then we automatically live
in a state of forgiveness. Forgiveness may require a lifetime of
forgiving, but it is important to the Lord. We must continue
forgiving until the matter is settled in our heart.
What if the person we need to forgive is not a believer?
I have found that prayer is one of the best ways to break down the
wall of un-forgiveness in my heart. When I begin to pray for the
person who has wronged me, God begins to give me new eyes to see
that person and a new heart to care for that person. As I pray I
begin to see that person as God sees them, and I realize that
person is precious to the Lord. I also see myself in a new light,
just as guilty of sin and failure as the other person. I too am in
need of forgiveness. If God did not withhold his forgiveness from
me, why should I withhold my forgiveness from another?
Is it okay to feel anger and want justice for the person we need to
forgive?
This question presents another reason to pray for the person we
need to forgive. We can pray for God to deal with the injustices,
for God to judge the person's life, and then we can leave that
prayer at the altar. We no longer have to carry the anger. Although
it is normal for us to feel anger toward sin and injustice, it is
not our job to judge the other person in their sin.
Luke 6:37
Do not judge, and you will not be
judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and
you will be forgiven. (NIV)
Why must we forgive?
The best reason to forgive is because Jesus commanded us to
forgive. We learn from Scripture, if we don't forgive, neither will
we be forgiven:
Matthew 6:14-16
For if you forgive men when they
sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if
you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive
your sins. (NIV)
We also forgive so that our prayers will not be hindered:
Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if
you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father
in heaven may forgive you your sins. (NIV)
In summary and in closing, we forgive out of obedience to the Lord.
It is a choice, a decision we make. However, as we do this
"forgiving," we discover the command is in place for our own good,
and we receive the reward of our forgiveness - freedom.
source : http://christianity.about.com/od/whatdoesthebiblesay/a/bibleforgivenes.htm
