For a long time there had been something indefinite but
repulsive in the air. People were telling each other that in the
next few weeks it would 'start in' - but I was unable to imagine
what was meant by this. First I thought of a strike like that of
the spring. Unfavorable rumors were constantly coming from the
navy, which was said to be in a state of ferment. But this, too,
seemed to me more the product of the imagination of individual
scoundrels than an affair involving real masses. Even in the
hospital, people were discussing the end of the War which they
hoped would come soon, but no one counted on anything immediate. I
was unable to read the papers.
In November the general tension increased.
And then one day, suddenly and unexpectedly, the calamity
descended. Sailors arrived in trucks and proclaimed the revolution;
a few Jewish youths were the 'leaders' in this struggle for the
'freedom, beauty, and dignity' of our national existence. None of
them had been at the front. By way of a so-called 'gonorrhoea
hospital,' the three Orientals had been sent back home from their
second-line base. Now they raised the red rag in the
homeland.
In the last few days I had been getting along better. The piercing
pain in my eye sockets was diminishing; slowly I succeeded in
distinguishing the broad outlines of the things about me. I was
given grounds for hoping that I should recover my eyesight at least
well enough to be able to pursue some profession later. To be sure,
I could no longer hope that I would ever be able to draw again. In
any case, I was on the road to improvement when the monstrous thing
happened.
My first hope was still that this high treason might still be a
more or less local affair. I also tried to bolster up a few
comrades in this view. Particularly my Bavarian friends in the
hospital were more than accessible to this. The mood there was
anything but 'revolutionary.' I could not imagine that the madness
would break out in Munich, too. Loyalty to the venerable House of
Wittelsbach seemed to me stronger, after all, than the will of a
few Jews. Thus I could not help but believe that this was merely a
Putsch on the part of the navy and would be crushed in the next few
days.
The next few days came and with them the most terrible certainty of
my life. The rumors became more and more oppressive. What I had
taken for a local affair was now said to be a general revolution.
To this was added the disgraceful news from the front. They wanted
to capitulate. Was such a thing really possible?
On November 10, the pastor came to the hospital for a short
address: now we learned everything.
In extreme agitation, I, too, was present at the short speech. The
dignified old gentleman seemed all a-tremble as he informed us that
the House of Hollenzollern should no longer bear the German
imperial crown; that the fatherland had become a ' republic '; that
we must pray to the Almighty not to refuse His blessing to this
change and not to abandon our people in the times to come. He could
not help himself, he had to speak a few words in memory of the
royal house. He began to praise its services in Pomerania, in
Prussia, nay, to the German fatherland, and - here he began to sob
gently to himself - in the little hall the deepest dejection
settled on all hearts, and I believe that not an eye was able to
restrain its tears. But when the old gentleman tried to go on, and
began to tell us that we must now end the long War, yes, that now
that it was lost and we were throwing ourselves upon the mercy of
the victors, our fatherland would for the future be exposed to dire
oppression, that the armistice should be accepted with confidence
in the magnanimity of our previous enemies - I could stand it no
longer. It became impossible for me to sit still one minute more.
Again everything went black before my eyes; I tottered and groped
my way back to the dormitory, threw myself on my bunk, and dug my
burning head into my blanket and pillow.