"What we have here... is a failure to communicate... "
not implying anything but when I read the poem and the subsequent
posts, this line by Martin Luther King popped into my mind.
true... poetry is a form of expression... but it is also a form of
communication. And when it comes to communication, what is
important is not just what the writer wants to express, but what
the writer wants to communicate to the reader and what he wants the
reader to understand.
the poem is a decent start at writing but I guess what is lacking
is how it can be better expressed to communicate your feelings, to
get the reader to feel like you do or want them to. Which is
probably why there were some replies that say they didn't get a
visual when reading your poem.
Sure cliches and abstracts can make good poems, but it's how they
are expressed that differentiates between a good poem and a
mediocre or even cliched effort....
do write some more and like I said before, practice makes
perfect.
DP posted an exchange he had with Gilbert Koh, one of Singapore's
better known poets and what they said about poetry and how
expression becomes a good poem provide some food for thought... go
read it...
