Poetry exercise :)

last SG · 2004-07-21T16:03:30+00:00

don give him too many hints lah! rofl !!!! oops!?

the Bear SG

the poetic gentlecheeken... what a wonderful poem for her! Very Happy

True_Xerion SG

Originally posted by skeujin:
Deep in my heart forever youll always stay
Anchored in my thoughts and in my words when i pray

still of the night and i watch as you sleep
Again, in our dreams, we both shall soon meet
Only with you by my side, do i feel complete..

fwah!!!! the cheeken has the soul of a scribe!!!

ps. I bold-ed my fave line!

Asfi_Kay SG

Hmm.. Let me try this..

Pandemonium
Of collosal proportions
Erupt in the confines of
This anguished heart
Into the furnace
Coldly it burns

Verily he was smitten
Entralled by this beauty, but
Rejection was his gift
Set upon him by Fate
Ever the Bestower of Woe

Give me critique!! Please?

KittynMeow SG

Powerful engines rumbling,
Overtaking, swerving recklessly.
Ever impatient, eager to speed
Thundering through the lanes.
If only he had some common sense,
Caution would have saved his life.

Veering left and suddenly right,
Eventually crashing, smashing head-on.
Regret won't save him, nor can paramedics.
Speeding is fun, but it kills too,
Everyone knows, nobody listens.

ratinacage SG

Prince of morning star,away from the light
Out of the cold cell, he shone so bright
Eternally trapped within himself,no more
Towards the ancient oak giant doors
In his mind,there is no doubt.
Chained for 4 thousand years,now he wants out

Verse for verse, he wrote this page
Ever ready to fight his fate
Rather unethically he goes about his way
Stealing beLIEvers harden faith
Edging closing to ure end of days

LazerLordz SG

Here it goes..

Prancing around in my head
Old but yet not dead
Everything you say and do
Takes me up to those clouds
Illusions are your forte
Close to me you will always be

Verily I yearn to see your face
Even if I must be a moth
Rendering the care unto you
Sad to say i cannot speak
Else I would say, "I still love you"

the Bear SG

fwah… i am in awe…

DeadPoet SG

I am so proud to be a moderator of DPS. Very Happy

You guys are fantastic! Look at KittynMeow, look at ratinacage, LazerLordz, etc...

Who said there are no poets in Singapore!

If only I have the capital to publish a collection of poems in DPS. That will be my next goal in life. Embarassed

KittynMeow SG

hehe i just noticed this is the first time i wrote a poem that doesn't end in rhyme... hahahaha Laughing

i like Ratty's version... sounds rather diabolical... kekekek Mr. Green

skeujin SG

Promises broken
Only emptiness remains
Everything has no meaning
Time stands still
Innocence betrayed
Cold is the hollow heart

Vengence beckons
Emotional turmoil
Recourse found
Suicide is your only ally
End.........

DeadPoet SG

Originally posted by Asfi_Kay:
Hmm.. Let me try this..

[b]Pandemonium
Of collosal proportions
Erupt in the confines of
This anguished heart
Into the furnace
Coldly it burns

Verily he was smitten
Entralled by this beauty, but
Rejection was his gift
Set upon him by Fate
Ever the Bestower of Woe

Give me critique!! Please?[/b]

Your writing style is quite similar to LazerLordzs.

Profound and full of imageries. Mr. Green

DeadPoet SG

x2. Same here. I like the way it flows like a river. Very Happy

skeujin SG

wat was edited in mine?

I_am_PeTe_Parker SG

People, they come and they go
Out the door to the streets below
Every single one of them not stopping to smile
To at least bring me a little cheer for a while
I am alone again
Confused and in pain

Vicious this torment
Every journey in my life is but a long treacherous road with unforgiving bends
Right up here from my bedroom window
Strangle by the anguish I do not want to face another tomorrow
End it all now I must and rid myself of all these sorrow.

DeadPoet SG

Originally posted by I_am_PeTe_Parker:
[b]People, they come and they go
Out the door to the streets below
Every single one of them not stopping to smile
To at least bring me a little cheer for a while
I am alone again
Confused and in pain

Vicious this torment
Every journey in my life is but a long treacherous road with unforgiving bends
Right up here from my bedroom window
Strangle by the anguish I do not want to face another tomorrow
End it all now I must and rid myself of all these sorrow.
[/b]

Hope it is not talking about you. Sad

Very touching poem. Truly reflect the coldness in today's society.

Something most of us here can relate to. Wink

[email protected] SG

Please somebody, just kill me.
Oh what is this?
Emptiness.... this hole in me,
This dreadful blank,
Its sucking my life from within.
Can't run from it, can't hide from it.

Vortex, malevolent force.
Energies destructive,
Ripping me apart.
Sundering me, from within,
Eternally dying, but never fully dead.

tare SG

Positive in thinking,
Observant in details,
Everything seems simple,
To him ever so wise,
In awe of his knowledge,
Continuously surprised.

Vehemently stubborn,
Externally normal,
Reach beyond the surface,
Sensitive to the core
Ever so faithfully mine.

and i anyhow write! Mr. Green

KittynMeow SG

Originally posted by tare:
[b]Positive in thinking,
Observant in details,
Everything seems simple,
To him ever so wise,
In awe of his knowledge,
Continuously surprised.

Vehemently stubborn,
Externally normal,
Reach beyond the surface,
Sensitive to the core
Ever so faithfully mine.

and i anyhow write! Mr. Green [/b]

wah.... something your lao gong did to inspire you ah?? mebbe its the shopping?? kekekeke

tare SG

hahhaa.. no lah.... been wanting to write something abt him lor.... i actually got something in chinese. saw this thread so try lor....

then again maybe he should bring me shopping more, i'm sure it'll help with my flow of inspirations!!! Mr. Green

the Bear SG

hey, DP.. any more? Wink

maybe if any of the nine muses come visit, i'll try this again Very Happy

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