Poetry exercise :)

last SG · 2004-07-21T16:03:30+00:00

don give him too many hints lah! rofl !!!! oops!?

the_don SG

Embarassed
/me touched beyond words....

KittynMeow SG

DP... idea... let's do a competition using this method... kekeke

Suggested prize?? hmmm ... NYDC Voucher??? kekeke Mr. Green

KittynMeow SG

another attempt... kekeke

Hate

Patiently as I wait
Overwhelming anxiety chokes, my confidence shakes
Evoking memories sad and depressed
Tormented by the emotional mess
I cried for release
Crying for peace

Vainly as I wait
Expecting the worst, resigned to fate
Rejecting comfort and refusing relief
Snatching at illusions and lies to believe
Enshrouded in denial, my hate begins to live.

choco B SG

Peel away the rough and hardened hide
Old and cynical, tired of the joy ride
Empty thoughts that fill a glossy head
Twinkling sequins, eventually they fade
Into the depthless inky skies
Charcoal gollywog face with bright eyes

Vice and venom to his simple goodness
Easy touch calms the nervous sprite
Raging days, bitter and ruthless
Sweet refuge found, as night
Embraces me.... we take flight.

KittynMeow SG

Shocked Shocked Shocked so sweet.... lomantic lomantic... kekeke

choco B SG

Sweet? ~__~ then I must've written it wrong. Back to the drawing board...

Glad you liked it Smile

Master -_- SG

Patrolling always suck
Often finish late
Endlessly in the dark
To lock the gate
In times i get fucked
Constantly in my head

Very Happy
Everything went well
Rest and have a nappy
Saturday chiong in hell Rolling Eyes
Endure?

Laughing

the Bear SG

goodness...

offer that to your loved one, he'll break down in tears! Very Happy

I_am_PeTe_Parker SG

Hi DeadPoet, I had quite a difficult early teenage actually. Had problem dealing with schoolwork. Was close to a nervous breakdown at one point. Woke up one morning and had chest pain and refused to go to school from that day onwards. Doctors could not find anything wrong. It was frightening. I just could not breathe properly but the doctors keep saying there was absolutely nothing wrong with me. It was agonizing I missed so many days of schooling, I could not sleep well, could not eat well and I simply just did not want to go on and contemplated taking my own life (kind of like what I wrote in the poem). No one seems to be able to help and bring some relief. My family was always there but I felt they were suffering as well and it made things worst.

It was one long emotional struggle, but luckily, I eventually got out from that spiral of misery. Nevertheless till this day I still fear not being able to breathe and that is why I chose Strangle for the S in VERSE. I fear strangulation and suffocation more than death itself.

Anyway, that was in the past. I have another POETIC VERSE. I would like to dedicate this to all the forumite here especially to you the DeadPoet himself.

The flower in you

Pretty flower blooms
Open your rainbow kissed blossom and banish the gloom
Ever so beautiful, ever so gentle
Touching heartslovely coloured petals
Inviting joy to fill the emptiness
Cleansing sadness turning them into happiness

Violet or blue
Emerald, yellow and golden too
Rays of sunlight falls on little droplets of dew
Sparkling like diamonds rare and few
Everlasting your words the flower in you

To me, poets have little flower in them. Something like inspiration. And when that little flower/inspiration blossom it brings much joy to everyone reading the poems/words they write. Everlasting your words(poems)(thank you for) the flower(inspiration) in you.

DeadPoet SG

Some typo error, just a tiny amendment.

Glad to see your poems here. Very Happy

DeadPoet SG

Do not underestimate the destructive force of emptiness. As reflected in Poet Heng's writing, emptiness drives people to madness, emptiness kills.

I like the last line Eternally dying, but never fully dead. Unfortunately, most of us are presently in this condition, walking dead. Sad

I especially like the first and second line,

Please somebody, just kill me.
Oh what is this?

I know this is a serious poem, but the first two lines are so damn comical! (ahem pardon my language) Mr. Green

I look at Poet Hengs avatar, and I read the poem again and I cant help laughing. May I suggest The confession of Darth Vader as the title of this poem? Hee hee.

DeadPoet SG

Originally posted by tare:
[b]Positive in thinking,
Observant in details,
Everything seems simple,
To him ever so wise,
In awe of his knowledge,
Continuously surprised.

Vehemently stubborn,
Externally normal,
Reach beyond the surface,
Sensitive to the core
Ever so faithfully mine.

and i anyhow write! Mr. Green [/b]

Ah in praise of someone you love. So sweet. Poet tare has successfully brings out the characters of her hubby. Very Happy

This kind of man hard to find liao, lucky tare. Embarassed

Just a suggestion, instead of Externally normal, which in my humble opinion sound a bit hmm, well, why not change it to Extremely handsome or Exciting and hot? (Joking only lah) Mr. Green

DeadPoet SG

Not at the moment. Too busy with work and studies. Wink

DeadPoet SG

Can can but not now. Maybe after Oct. I indeed to have 3 - 4 competitions per year. Mr. Green

[email protected] SG

Originally posted by DeadPoet:

Do not underestimate the destructive force of emptiness. As reflected in Poet Heng's writing, emptiness drives people to madness, emptiness kills.

I like the last line ?Eternally dying, but never fully dead.? Unfortunately, most of us are presently in this condition, walking dead.

I especially like the first and second line,

[b]?Please somebody, just kill me.
Oh what is this??

I know this is a serious poem, but the first two lines are so damn comical! (ahem? pardon my language) Mr. Green

I look at Poet Heng?s avatar, and I read the poem again and I can?t help laughing. May I suggest ?The confession of Darth Vader? as the title of this poem? Hee hee.
[/b]

Mr. Green
glad u liked it. hahaha. I like the suggested title. So it shall be. Laughing
quite a nice reading and analysis of the poem. Very Happy

DeadPoet SG

Originally posted by KittynMeow:
another attempt... kekeke

[b]Hate

Patiently as I wait
Overwhelming anxiety chokes, my confidence shakes
Evoking memories sad and depressed
Tormented by the emotional mess
I cried for release
Crying for peace

Vainly as I wait
Expecting the worst, resigned to fate
Rejecting comfort and refusing relief
Snatching at illusions and lies to believe
Enshrouded in denial, my hate begins to live.
[/b]

Hee hee another poem by my favourite poet. Mr. Green

But just want to be sure, the 'I' in the poem, is it Hate or is it the poet? Wink

[email protected] SG

going out for a midnite drive. will be getting inspiration on my other, n biggest passion as a topic for a poem. Mr. Green

DeadPoet SG

Very dark poem. Can see that the poet has selected the words very carefully. For example, 'depthless inky skies', 'Charcoal gollywog face', 'bitter and ruthless', etc.

These words help to create a very dark atmosphere.

Well written, rich in imageries, good use of metaphor, personification, etc. Very Happy

Good ending,

Sweet refuge found, as night
Embraces me .... we take flight. Mr. Green

DeadPoet SG

Okay. Be careful, don't drive too fast brother. Very Happy

DeadPoet SG

I have to confess. I read this poem several times and really enjoy it. Every time I read brings back different memories of my NS days.

The words are simple, clear and ahem also a bit crude. But hey, thats Army for you. Wink

Well done! Very Happy

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