Buddhist website for children

Weychin SG

The Buddha’s advice to parents is clear – support your children to become generous, compassionate, virtuous, responsible, skilled and self-sufficient beings. We don’t need to teach Buddhism to our children, we only need to give them the basic skills they need to find true happiness. Buddha Heart Parenting is a book that gives us, as parents, the skills, strategies and techniques to support our child to realise their true Buddha heart or nature. We, as parents, are the ones who can provide our child with what they need to understand Buddhist philosophy.

The single most important thing we can do for our children is help them to understand that every action has consequences. They can understand that each moment presents us with an opportunity, and it is up to us, as individuals, to choose how we will think, speak, or act. Each of these actions will determine our happiness, not only in the moment but in the future. This is the basic teaching of karma, or cause and effect.

In the following sutta, the Buddha shows us the importance of right speech and virtue.

Ambalatthika-rahulovada Sutta: Instructions to Rahula at Mango Stone

Translated from the Pali by Thanissaro Bhikkhu

I have heard that on one occasion the Blessed One was staying near Rajagaha, at the Bamboo Grove, the Squirrels' Feeding Ground.

At that time Ven. Rahula1 was staying at the Mango Stone. Then the Blessed One, arising from his seclusion in the late afternoon, went to where Ven. Rahula was staying at the Mango Stone. Ven. Rahula saw him coming from afar and, on seeing him, set out a seat & water for washing the feet. The Blessed One sat down on the seat set out and, having sat down, washed his feet. Ven. Rahula, bowing down to the Blessed One, sat to one side.

Then the Blessed One, having left a little bit of water in the water dipper, said to Ven. Rahula, "Rahula, do you see this little bit of left-over water remaining in the water dipper?"

"Yes, sir."

"That's how little of a contemplative2 there is in anyone who feels no shame at telling a deliberate lie."

Having tossed away the little bit of left-over water, the Blessed One said to Ven. Rahula, "Rahula, do you see how this little bit of left-over water is tossed away?"

"Yes, sir."

"Rahula, whatever there is of a contemplative in anyone who feels no shame at telling a deliberate lie is tossed away just like that."

Having turned the water dipper upside down, the Blessed One said to Ven. Rahula, "Rahula, do you see how this water dipper is turned upside down?"

"Yes, sir."

"Rahula, whatever there is of a contemplative in anyone who feels no shame at telling a deliberate lie is turned upside down just like that."

Having turned the water dipper right-side up, the Blessed One said to Ven. Rahula, "Rahula, do you see how empty & hollow this water dipper is?"

"Yes, sir."

"Rahula, whatever there is of a contemplative in anyone who feels no shame at telling a deliberate lie is empty & hollow just like that.

"Rahula, it's like a royal elephant: immense, pedigreed, accustomed to battles, its tusks like chariot poles. Having gone into battle, it uses its forefeet & hindfeet, its forequarters & hindquarters, its head & ears & tusks & tail, but keeps protecting its trunk. The elephant trainer notices that and thinks, 'This royal elephant has not given up its life to the king.' But when the royal elephant... having gone into battle, uses its forefeet & hindfeet, its forequarters & hindquarters, its head & ears & tusks & tail & his trunk, the trainer notices that and thinks, 'This royal elephant has given up its life to the king. There is nothing it will not do.'

"In the same way, Rahula, when anyone feels no shame in telling a deliberate lie, there is no evil, I tell you, he will not do. Thus, Rahula, you should train yourself, 'I will not tell a deliberate lie even in jest.'

"What do you think, Rahula: What is a mirror for?"

"For reflection, sir."

"In the same way, Rahula, bodily actions, verbal actions, & mental actions are to be done with repeated reflection.

"Whenever you want to do a bodily action, you should reflect on it: 'This bodily action I want to do — would it lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both? Would it be an unskillful bodily action, with painful consequences, painful results?' If, on reflection, you know that it would lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both; it would be an unskillful bodily action with painful consequences, painful results, then any bodily action of that sort is absolutely unfit for you to do. But if on reflection you know that it would not cause affliction... it would be a skillful bodily action with pleasant consequences, pleasant results, then any bodily action of that sort is fit for you to do.

"While you are doing a bodily action, you should reflect on it: 'This bodily action I am doing — is it leading to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both? Is it an unskillful bodily action, with painful consequences, painful results?' If, on reflection, you know that it is leading to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both... you should give it up. But if on reflection you know that it is not... you may continue with it.

"Having done a bodily action, you should reflect on it: 'This bodily action I have done — did it lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both? Was it an unskillful bodily action, with painful consequences, painful results?' If, on reflection, you know that it led to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both; it was an unskillful bodily action with painful consequences, painful results, then you should confess it, reveal it, lay it open to the Teacher or to a knowledgeable companion in the holy life. Having confessed it... you should exercise restraint in the future. But if on reflection you know that it did not lead to affliction... it was a skillful bodily action with pleasant consequences, pleasant results, then you should stay mentally refreshed & joyful, training day & night in skillful mental qualities.

"Whenever you want to do a verbal action, you should reflect on it: 'This verbal action I want to do — would it lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both? Would it be an unskillful verbal action, with painful consequences, painful results?' If, on reflection, you know that it would lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both; it would be an unskillful verbal action with painful consequences, painful results, then any verbal action of that sort is absolutely unfit for you to do. But if on reflection you know that it would not cause affliction... it would be a skillful verbal action with pleasant consequences, pleasant results, then any verbal action of that sort is fit for you to do.

"While you are doing a verbal action, you should reflect on it: 'This verbal action I am doing — is it leading to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both? Is it an unskillful verbal action, with painful consequences, painful results?' If, on reflection, you know that it is leading to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both... you should give it up. But if on reflection you know that it is not... you may continue with it.

"Having done a verbal action, you should reflect on it: 'This verbal action I have done — did it lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both? Was it an unskillful verbal action, with painful consequences, painful results?' If, on reflection, you know that it led to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both; it was an unskillful verbal action with painful consequences, painful results, then you should confess it, reveal it, lay it open to the Teacher or to a knowledgeable companion in the holy life. Having confessed it... you should exercise restraint in the future. But if on reflection you know that it did not lead to affliction... it was a skillful verbal action with pleasant consequences, pleasant results, then you should stay mentally refreshed & joyful, training day & night in skillful mental qualities.

"Whenever you want to do a mental action, you should reflect on it: 'This mental action I want to do — would it lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both? Would it be an unskillful mental action, with painful consequences, painful results?' If, on reflection, you know that it would lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both; it would be an unskillful mental action with painful consequences, painful results, then any mental action of that sort is absolutely unfit for you to do. But if on reflection you know that it would not cause affliction... it would be a skillful mental action with pleasant consequences, pleasant results, then any mental action of that sort is fit for you to do.

"While you are doing a mental action, you should reflect on it: 'This mental action I am doing — is it leading to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both? Is it an unskillful mental action, with painful consequences, painful results?' If, on reflection, you know that it is leading to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both... you should give it up. But if on reflection you know that it is not... you may continue with it.

"Having done a mental action, you should reflect on it: 'This mental action I have done — did it lead to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both? Was it an unskillful mental action, with painful consequences, painful results?' If, on reflection, you know that it led to self-affliction, to the affliction of others, or to both; it was an unskillful mental action with painful consequences, painful results, then you should feel distressed, ashamed, & disgusted with it. Feeling distressed, ashamed, & disgusted with it, you should exercise restraint in the future. But if on reflection you know that it did not lead to affliction... it was a skillful mental action with pleasant consequences, pleasant results, then you should stay mentally refreshed & joyful, training day & night in skillful mental qualities.

"Rahula, all those brahmans & contemplatives in the course of the past who purified their bodily actions, verbal actions, & mental actions, did it through repeated reflection on their bodily actions, verbal actions, & mental actions in just this way.

"All those brahmans & contemplatives in the course of the future who will purify their bodily actions, verbal actions, & mental actions, will do it through repeated reflection on their bodily actions, verbal actions, & mental actions in just this way.

"All those brahmans & contemplatives at present who purify their bodily actions, verbal actions, & mental actions, do it through repeated reflection on their bodily actions, verbal actions, & mental actions in just this way.

"Thus, Rahula, you should train yourself: 'I will purify my bodily actions through repeated reflection. I will purify my verbal actions through repeated reflection. I will purify my mental actions through repeated reflection.' That's how you should train yourself."

That is what the Blessed One said. Gratified, Ven. Rahula delighted in the Blessed One's words.

http://www.familybuddhism.com/buddhism_children.php

Check this out:-

http://www.d-kidz.com/

Play the xylophone !

Weychin SG

http://buddhistlinks.org/ChildStories.htm

Weychin SG

http://www.examiner.com/buddhism-in-orlando/buddhist-stories-for-children-for-free

Weychin SG

We've discussed the issue of how -- and even whether -- to introduce children to Buddhism before. It's a subject that seems to bring out some pretty strong opinions. Western dharma centers catering mostly to non-Asian converts often find it terribly awkward to deal with children, and some don't do it at all.

Nathan Thompson (of Dangerous Harvests) writing at Buddhist Geeks has some interesting perspectives on children and Buddhism. He says the primary roadblocks to making dharma centers more child-friendly are --

First, the escape from Sunday School syndrome (that's my name for it, not Nathan's). People with this syndrome often are opposed to teaching children anything about Buddhism, because they don't want to "indoctrinate" their kids the way they were "indoctrinated."

The notion is, I believe, that if you don't teach kids anything about religion they will be freer to choose their own spiritual path when they reach adulthood. I suspect it's more likely such children will grow up feeling somewhat awkward about religion and avoid it altogether when they reach adulthood.

Nathan notes in the comments that he is acquainted with "people who rail hard against having their kids have any deliberate connection with said sangha. Or that they push for an entirely secular engagement with the kids.... I honestly don't get the forced separation that seems to be happening in those cases."

It's one thing for a parent not to insist on the child going to the dharma center kids' programs if they don't want to go, but the forced separation is something else again. If you want children to have an open mind about religion, then expose them to a diversity of religious traditions. My suspicions are, however, that if people aren't introduced to religion or spirituality or whatever you want to call it in childhood, their minds will likely be closed to all of it in adulthood.

I say this in part because in all my years of hanging around in Buddhist centers and yakking with people about their religions-of-origin, I never once met someone with no prior religious affiliation. I assume there are a few such people out there somewhere, but they must be rare.

Religions are, in a way, the landscapes of our interior lives. I postulate that children who have no meaningful exposure to religion likely will grow up with an inner life that leaves no room for religion.

I take it some some people found the break with their religions-of-origin terribly painful and difficult, but hey -- life is dukkha. And people do suffer worse things in this world than crises of faith. I had a religious upbringing and had a several-year perfect attendance record at Sunday School, plus Catechism classes (Lutheran). We children heard Bible stories and sang songs about Jesus. Sometimes there were cookies. As I got older, I made up my own mind about what to believe, or not. On the Awfulness Scale, this barely registers.

The second roadblock is "uber-individualism" and by extension our weakness at building sustainable communities. In my lifetime I've watched the "nuclear family" become more and more isolated. "Whereas in the past, friends, neighbors, and community elders were all to some degree or another considered part of the extended parenting family, today for most children, these people are often viewed with suspicion," Nathan writes. And for that matter, often "extended family" -- grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. -- live too far away to be a significant part of a child's life.

On the other hand, in many ethnic Asian communities in the West, the dharma center or temple is thoroughly integrated into community life. Nathan writes,

The children are cared for by extended family and neighborhood elders, they regularly attend Buddhist services with their families, and they are considered to be an important part of the sangha. This doesn't mean that these children have perfect lives - sometimes far from it - but whereas native born Americans struggle with community, immigrants and refugees tend to have thriving communities, religious and otherwise.

I've come to see that community is not just helpful for children; it is helpful for adults, for marriages, for families. This is difficult to explain, but if you've ever been a single parent raising kids without support of community or family, you feel it keenly.

And I've known people who were actively engaged in Zen training who disappeared from the sangha when kids came along, because in one way or another the "program" was utterly unaccommodating to parents of small children.

Of course, the next question is, how does one "teach Buddhism" to a child? And it may be that little of it can be taught, especially before middle school age. But you can read them Jataka stories emphasizing compassion and unselfishness. You can teach them a little about karma and maybe have brief quiet times for children to "follow the breath." The library at my Zen center is often decorated with the kids' most recent arts and crafts projects.

The point, IMO, is not to force the kids to be Buddhists, but to raise kids who are open to a spiritual quest. Where they go with that as adults will, of course, be up to them. And the point also is to build lasting Buddhist communities capable of supporting practitioners in all stages of life, from

http://buddhism.about.com/b/2011/01/07/buddhism-children-communities.htm

Fcukpap SG

excellent.....

Weychin SG

Dilemmas of raising kids in a multicutural environment:-

The One-Eyed Santa and the King Devil of the Sixth Heaven “Mamma, Christie told me I’m going to Hell again today,” Jenny told me matter-of-factly as I stood at the kitchen counter unloading groceries.

Don’t react, I told myself, but I’d already sighed loudly.

“Remember what we talked about, honey?” I said, putting the last of the cans in the cupboard. Time for the “Ten Worlds” chat.

“Yes...”

“Hell’s not a real place. Hell’s how we feel when something bad happens to us.”

“Mmmhmm.” She began to twist one finger in her long straight hair. I wasn’t getting through.

“And Hell goes away. When you feel bad, like when your bike got that scratch on it, or when Christie teases you. After we have dinner and play a game of Monopoly you won’t feel so bad, right?”

“Mamma, why don’t we have a Christmas tree like all the other kids?”

Uh-oh. I swallowed nervously.

“We celebrate New Year’s, remember? We go down to the Culture Center for World Peace prayer meeting, and everybody gets dressed up. And later we have rice balls and black-eyed peas.”

“The other kids get presents on Christmas. And Santa.”

I took a deep breath and blew a stray lock of hair out of my face. I started simple. Or tried to.

“Sweetie, you know we’re Buddhists, and ...”

That was as far as I got. Jen bounded up off the chair, declared, “It’s not fair. If I can’t have Santa, I don’t want to be a Buddhist” and ran off down the hall. Slam! Gone.

I shook my head. Just then, the sound of the garage door opening told me Paul was home. I went to the fridge and opened a cold Shiner Bock beer. It was an old joke — bad news should always be accompanied by beer.

He walked in the door and I handed it to him.

“Hello, love. Bad day, hmm?” he said as he kissed me. “What’s wrong?”

“Christie told Jen she’s going to hell. Again. And she asked me about Christmas and Santa.” I plopped into a chair.

“Well, we knew this was going to happen.” He sat and kicked off his shoes. “What’d you say?”

“I didn’t get very far. She said if she couldn’t have Santa, she didn’t want to be a Buddhist, and she stormed off to her room.”

“Whew!” Paul whistled. “Pretty tough. Maybe the first time that Santa’s converted anyone to Christianity.”

I laughed. “Oh, stop, it’s not funny. I want to do the right thing for Jen.”

“Sandy, we can’t shield her from the world.”

“No, but we can try to explain why it’s hurting her! And I’m not doing well at that. Why shouldn’t we have Christmas?”

“We should celebrate the birth of Jesus because...?” Paul said.

“Oh, come on. We both know a lot of people who celebrate Christmas but don’t go to church. It’s like Christmas is two holidays...”

“I know, I know,” he interrupted. “The sacred and the secular. And the secular Christmas holiday is sort of a midwinter festival, and yadayadayada. We’ve been over all this.”

I ignored him. “So, let’s celebrate it as a secular holiday. It may be a little materialistic, but it’s a whole lot of fun.”

“Is it really?”

“Oh, just because one Christmas Santa didn’t bring you a Lite Brite....”

“That’s not it at all. OK, you say it’s a celebration of family. But how does giving each other a bunch of meaningless presents celebrate family?”

“Paul, you’re such a Scrooge.”

“No, now let me finish. If you’re going to celebrate family, why not get together and have an honest discussion about life? Instead of this exchange of trinkets. Where I have to pretend to like some ugly tie that Aunt Agatha gave me. That will sit in the closet until I send it to Goodwill.”

“You don’t even have an Aunt Agatha.” I rolled my eyes.

“Oh, you get it.”

“I get it.”

“We may still have to celebrate Christmas with our families, to keep the peace....”

“I want to celebrate it with my family, and you make it sound like we’re in a state of constant warfare with our parents....”

“...but we don’t have to... we shouldn’t... celebrate it in this family. Do you want to hang a crucifix on the front door and start going to Mass?”

“Oh, dry up. Neither one of us were Catholic.” I glared at him. “I understand what you’re saying, but I don’t see any harm in Christmas as long as we’re clear about what we’re doing.”

“And I think you’re splitting hairs.” He sighed, and downed the last of the beer. “I’m sorry, Dee. We’re not doing very well here, are we? Maybe I do have some kind of ‘emotional issue’ about Christmas. I don’t know. I just think we don’t need to celebrate a tradition that belongs to another religion. We’ve got enough to celebrate ourselves. I’m going to go talk to Jen.”

He left, and I sat at the kitchen table, drained and wondering what to do for dinner. Well, we hadn’t had pizza in awhile. I reached for the phone and dialed Pizza Hut as I mulled the situation over.

OK, sure, he was right, in a lot of ways. In the logical ways. As much as I argued to myself about “sacred holidays” and “secular holidays,” perhaps I was splitting hairs. A little bit. I mean, no one really considered Christmas on a par with, say, the Fourth of July.

“Large pepperoni, extra cheese, olives, and, um, green peppers,” I told the kid on the other end of the line. I gave him our address and added an order of bread sticks. He promised dinner in 40 minutes. Good enough.

“Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. Merry Christmas,” he said in a flat, harried tone, and hung up before I could wish him one back. Or tell him that I didn’t celebrate it, thank you very much. I shook my head and said “Bah, humbug!” Not much Christmas spirit there. Maybe Paul was right.

But on the other hand, how wonderful everything about Christmas was. The tree, the stockings. The smell of pine. The red and green tree skirt blazoned with a grinning white-bearded Santa. Cards hanging on a string along the top of the wall. Wrapping paper. Chocolate and oranges. Being so excited that you couldn’t go to sleep, because you knew Santa was coming, and waking up on Christmas morning with the most wonderful breathless sense of anticipation. Even the needles in the carpet, pricking your feet and lingering around for months....

I sighed. Everything was so special because it only happened once a year. I propped my head in my hands. How could something so wonderful, that made children so happy, be bad?

“Well, I think she’s feeling better,” said Paul as he came into the kitchen. “I think she could ignore this whole thing if it weren’t for Christie.”

“What did you say?” I asked curiously.

“Oh, this and that. I explained things,” he said airily. “What’s for dinner?”

I shook my head a little. “That easy, huh? Humph. Anyway, I ordered pizza.”

“Great.” He came over and embraced me, wrapping his arms around my waist and gently nuzzling my neck with his chin.

“Paul. What are we going to do about Christmas?”

“I don’t know, Sandy. I know it’s making you unhappy. Let’s think about it. It’s almost three weeks away. We can come up with a compromise.”

“We have to do the right thing for Jen,” I said.

“We will, sweetheart.”

I sighed. “C’mon. Let’s go chant.”

“Good idea.”

Weychin SG

Later that evening, we all curled up in front of the television. Jen voted for yet another viewing of Sonny Elephant and the Dark Jungle. Paul and I decided we could tolerate it one more time. We made a fire, popped popcorn, and started up the VCR.

Outside, the wind howled in the chimney and rattled the panes. Onscreen, Sonny Elephant and the Monkey King led a riotous dance number. A troupe of tigers pranced past as Bawak the Parrot squawked away in a grating falsetto. Jen sat in her beanbag in front of the television, her eyes drooping.

“I’m going to run up into the attic and get those extra blankets,” I murmured to Paul.

“Oh?” he said, his attention on the movie.

“I was kind of cold after the electric blanket went on the fritz last night,” I said.

“You’ve got me to keep you warm,” he growled.

I grinned at him. “You’re a lot heavier than the blanket.” I walked through the kitchen and flipped the light on. Outside, I shivered, pulled my sweater around me, and yanked down the attic door. Then up the steps and into the attic, a forest of shelves and boxes. Baby clothes... old yearbooks... a box labeled “stuffed animals.” I opened one flap. With a wry smile, I dipped my hand in and brought out my old, battered Tigger. What a hero that little guy was. Almost furless, one ear gone, but he still beamed up at me.

Then I spotted a shoebox marked “XMAS.” I shoved the other boxes aside. Inside, an unruly jumble of ornaments. I fished out a clothespin reindeer. I must have made you in the first or second grade! The hanger loop of gold thread was broken now, and the brown paint was faded, but its little plastic eyes still lolled merrily at me.

I grinned. A bit of thread and you’ll be good as new. My smile faded. For what? There would be no tree to hang him on. No more of the rapture of Christmas morning for him.

I dug through the shoebox some more. A Styrofoam egg, with crushed velvet and sequins pinned crookedly around it. An angel, cut out of brass -- well, probably some cheap brass-like metal -- with “Xmas 1975” engraved on it in an awkward hand. A yarn cross-stitched stocking, one corner unraveled to reveal its plastic underpinnings. A cardboard circle -- I turned it over, and on the other side was a vaguely birdlike shape made out of macaroni. Ah yes, it had been one of a set. The Twelve Days of Christmas, in Magic Marker and pasta.

Then, at the very bottom of the box, my hand touched felt. I dragged it out. A stocking — my stocking. I’d made it in Girl Scouts. The fabric was thin and worn now. I brushed off stray bits of glitter. “Sandy” was blazoned across the top in my best cursive. The white stocking top was streaked with red — the two colors had faded into each other. Underneath, a beaded felt Christmas tree, attached by a few scraps of glue. A reindeer with half a head of pipe-cleaner horns winked at me. And a Santa with one black sequin eye leered wickedly.

“You devil, you,” I said, then caught my breath for a moment, struck by inspiration. Twelve days of Christmas... ten days of... of New Year’s! Why not? I grabbed the box of ornaments and rushed downstairs.

Back in the den, Bawak was biting Sonny’s ear. Jen was mostly asleep, but I knew if I tried to stop the tape, she’d wake up and squawk like Bawak. So I touched Paul gently on the shoulder and hissed, “Come into the kitchen. I need to talk to you.”

“Whass wrong?” he grumbled, almost asleep.

“Come on,” I said.

In the kitchen, I plopped down the box and grabbed the pad of paper that sat by the phone. I glanced up for a second... yes, I could keep half an eye on Jen from here, make sure she stayed safely asleep in her beanbag. My mind started whirring.

“Hey, you forget the blanket,” Paul said, scratching his disheveled mop of hair.

“Oh, never mind that, I’m thinking,” I said. “Hell, that’s an easy one. Something Halloween-ish ... nah, gotta make sure that the kids understand it’s all a metaphor. Work with, you know, sadness or despair. The Devil of the Sixth Heaven, maybe? Make little cookies with devil faces?”

Paul poured himself a glass of milk and pulled up a chair. “Slow down, slow down. What are you rattling on about?”

I ignored him. “The Ten Days of New Year’s!” I said. “Like the Twelve Days of Christmas, you know, only Buddhist-style. The Ten Worlds of New Year’s. A different theme for each day. We can decorate, do games, food, whatever. And the tenth day is New Year’s Day, which is also the Day of Buddhahood. What d’ya think?”

“It’s late... can’t this wait til morning?”

“No, it can’t.” I put the pen cap in my mouth and began to nibble on it. Why can’t he understand how important this is? It could be really great!

“OK. So you want to invent a holiday?” Paul said.

“Why not?” I said. “Didn’t you say ‘We’ve got enough to celebrate for ourselves?’ Well, let’s celebrate it.” I flattened my palms against the table.

Paul said, “It seems kind of... fake... making up a holiday like that.”

“Why does it matter?” I said, leaning forward in my chair. “Look at Kwaanzaa. That’s an invented holiday.”

“Really?”

“Yes, in the sixties, I think. It’s based on African harvest festivals, you know, it’s got, um, authentic roots. This is the same way. It’s our idea, but based on philosophical concepts — the Ten Worlds.”

“Well....”

“Think of it as a teaching tool,” I pressed, drumming my fingers. Why won’t you understand? “A ten-year-old isn’t going to understand if you say, ‘The world of Rapture is a metaphor for the transient joy we feel when our earthly desires are fulfilled.’ If you explain it. But if she experiences it somehow — in a skit, or a story, or a drawing - it becomes real.”

“Humph,” Paul grunted.

“And think of all the things we could do with the Ten Worlds!” I picked up my pen and began to make a list. “Hell, hunger, anger, animality, humanity, heaven, learning, realization, bodhisattva — that one’s easy. Take the kids out and do some volunteer work. Anything would do, as long as we
have that bodhisattva spirit.”

“Sandy....”

“For hunger, we could talk about, um, about wanting things. We could have a “wanting tree” and draw pictures of the things we want, and hang them up. Then on Rapture day we could “get” those things and then “break” them... maybe run a toy car off the end of a table or something... and talk about how things don’t make us truly happy, that happiness is something that comes from inside of us. Hey, we could do Santa for Rapture day. Some real presents. Why not? A few, as long as the kids understand that that’s not the whole point.”

“You’re... you’re copying Christmas, you’re trying to make up a substitute holiday here,” Paul said.

I looked him right in the eye. “Yeah, I am. So what?”

A moment of silence.

“Paul, everyone wants to celebrate. That’s why we have holidays — to remind us about joy. That’s what I want to borrow from Christmas — doing something special. The celebration. Connecting us to each other, to our past and our future.”

I rummaged around in the box of ornaments and brought out the stocking. “Look, Paul. I made this, in Girl Scouts.” Santa leered up at us. “And...” I dug deeper in the box... “the day I brought it home my mother gave me this.” I produced a bulky envelope. “If this is what I think it is....” I undid the clasp, and out slid an even older stocking, hand-sewn, with faded red and green cross-stitch designs. I ran my finger over the tree, the star, Santa’s dingy beard. “She made it when she was a girl.”

“We don’t need to do Christmas,” I said, “but I want to start something like this now. Make something like this now. For our fortune baby. To give to her fortune babies someday.”

Paul got up to refill his glass of milk.

“I think... it’s a good idea, Sandy,” he said. “I guess... we’d better get to work. Not too long and it’ll be... Hell day.”

I gave him a big smile. “We’re going to have a blast!”

New Year’s Eve Day. Jen bounced up and down in her seat as we pulled into the driveway. “Mamma, is everyone coming over to chant tonight?”

“Of course, darling, we always do that.”

“And we’re going to the Culture Center tomorrow for World Peace Prayer?”

“Sure.”

“Can I stay up ‘til midnight? Huh? Huh?”

“You can try.” I grinned wryly. She’d tried last year, too, and wound up a lump on the couch well before ten. “Did you like the nursing home?” I asked her.

She nodded. “I like to sing.” We’d gathered together an impromptu chorus of children and taught them a few songs. After the recital they visited the residents — well, mostly ran, jumped and played around the residents. Still, though, they seemed to enjoy the kids. Then we’d dropped a big batch of clothing and toys off at Goodwill. All right in swing with Bodhisattva Day.

“We’re home!” Jen squealed. “Daddy’s home!” as she spotted his car in the garage. Her door flew open and out she went, almost before we’d stopped.

“Hey! Careful there!” But she was already gone. I sighed, exhausted. I wonder if any of this sunk in? I thought to myself. Well, Sandy, you wanted a celebration, didn’t you?

Yes, but a celebration with a reason.

In the kitchen, I found Jen comfortably wrapped in Paul’s arms, requesting a glass of milk.

“Do we have any more devil cookies, Mommy?” she asked.

“Nope, you ate the last one, remember?”

“Aww.” She stuck out her lower lip.

“We’ll make some more next year.” I put my purse down on the kitchen counter.

“Did you have a good day?” Paul asked me.

“Well, I guess. The kids seemed to enjoy it, but I’m not sure they got the point.”

“I think they did,” he said. “Hey punkin’, tell Mommy what you told me. About tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” I asked. “What about it? It’s New Year’s Day. “

“No! It’s Buddha Day. The best day of all, ‘cuz we’re all learning how to be Buddhas.” She squirmed out of Paul’s arms and charged off into the den. I looked at Paul.

“I guess she got it!”

Weychin SG

Mary Talbot introduces Tricycle's special section, "Bringing Up Buddhists."

Of all the thousands of the Buddha's teachings, he directed a very few—three or four, depending on what you count—specifically to children. Considering the multitude and breadth of his suttas, it's hard to imagine why more weren't geared to kids: was it because following his path requires a mature mind and mature commitment? Or was it because Indian society twenty-six hundred years ago had the instruction of children firmly in household hand—if adult family members were following the Buddha, children would naturally absorb the lessons and culture of the dharma, too. Or perhaps—and this is a personal guess—it was because the Buddha's principal teaching to a child so perfectly encapsulated the dharma that little else needed to be said. Was he doing what the most effective parents and teachers do—paring down a complicated set of ideas to its most profound, most pressing—and illustrating the lesson in such a way that a child can connect it to his or her own life? © Don Farber

The child in question here was his own son, Rahula—Pali for "fetter" or "shackle." The Buddha is famous with Western practitioners for having abandoned his family on the day of his only child's birth—what kind of father would do such a thing? (We all know a few.) But in the Buddha's case, renunciation of fatherhood and royal existence represented his profound conviction that a lasting, unconditioned happiness could be found—and in leaving behind his family, the fetters on his emotional and spiritual life, he could ultimately give back to them the possibility of the same deathless happiness he would find for himself.

When Rahula was seven years old, he became his father's disciple and began his training as a monk. In a discourse that has come to be known as the "Rahula Sutta" (Majjhima Nikaya 61), the Buddha instructed his young son with the seeds of some of his most important teachings. He started out by stressing the magnitude of being truthful—implying that if Rahula wanted to find the truth, he would first have to be truthful to himself. He then talked about using one's actions as a mirror. Before you do anything, he told Rahula, ask yourself: Is what I intend to do here skillful or unskillful? Will it lead to well-being or harm?If it looks harmful, don't do it. If it looks okay, go ahead and give it a try. While doing it, though, ask the same questions. If it turns out that it's causing harm, stop. If not, continue with it. Then after you've done it, ask the same questions—Did it bring about well-being or harm? If you see that what originally looked okay actually ended up being harmful, talk it over with someone else on the path and resolve never to make that mistake again. But if, as the Buddha put it, "on reflection [of a bodily, verbal, or mental action], you know that it did not lead to affliction...it was a skillful action with pleasant consequences, pleasant results, then you should stay mentally refreshed and joyful, training day and night in skillful mental qualities."

The Buddha was instructing his son in the importance of learning from his mistakes, of taking responsibility for his own actions, and of cultivating compassion. But just as crucially, he was teaching his son about the role of intention in our actions and the way causality works—with actions bringing about immediate results as well as long-term results. He was also teaching the basis for the Four Noble Truths: the notion that suffering is caused by past and present actions, and that if we're observant we can discover how to act more and more skillfully to a point of total freedom.

The Buddha had a leg up on instructing children in that he lived in a world where spiritual practice and instruction were a part of daily life. For those of us who have charged ourselves with the teaching, and raising, of kids, and want to do it inculcating Buddhist values, we must build what doesn't exist—a support structure for teaching the dharma to young people. We don't have to do it from scratch—the Rahula Sutta and many other teachings are an extraordinary place to start, and our own experience and conviction counts for a lot—but much scaffolding needs to be put in place, too. Interesting stories and activities can allow children to see the relevance of the teachings, while adults, friends, and community members can bring their experiences, insights, and skills to teaching meditation and helping children along the path.

The late H. Stephen Glenn, a wonderful educator and writer of parenting books such asRaising Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World, often spoke of how contemporary Western parents are pioneers but without the benefit of basic pioneer skills. For thousands of years, parents and teachers learned the art of raising children from elders, family members, and neighbors who lived together under relatively stable circumstances for generations. Pilgrims who uprooted their families traveled together and settled new communities with common values and goals. They sat around campfires and shared problems and strategies, so everyone didn't have to flounder learning the same lessons in isolation.

But after World War II, an entire set of cultural traditions was disrupted. The combined effects of industrialization, returning veterans, the Depression and exploding technology pushed young families to a new lifestyle frontier without the accumulated wisdom gained from networks and support systems to guide them. "Parenting," wrote Glenn, "which was once the cumulative work of generations, became a grim, part time struggle for two (or more)"—or fewer—"relatives who did not have much experience in what they were trying to do." In many ways, we are still living on that frontier, making up our parenting strategies as we go along, with little support or wisdom save that gleaned from "experts."

As Buddhists, we are pioneers, too, attempting to build a religious and ethical culture for ourselves and our children, in a materialistic world that has no use for our vision. But the beauty of teaching dharma to children is that it forces us to be skillful pioneers. In some ways, it feels as if incorporating children (and other human realities) into Buddhist practice is the last frontier for most practice centers, modeled as they are on a rarified, monastery-inspired retreat model (which, incidentally, is a specialized activity even in Buddhist countries). It's not a matter of hiring a babysitter while we meditate, although organizing effective and economical childcare—never mind teaching dharma to kids—is an enormous, time-intensive task. Being around us when we practice might expose our kids to what we do, but there's not much in it for them.

Creating a Buddhist life for our kids means that we rejigger our approach to parenting, or we become big time volunteers, researching teaching methods, setting up programs, making paper Vesak lanterns and prayer flags with eight-year-olds, teaching meditation in schools. It can be incredibly frustrating. When Willa, my daughter, was eight, we traveled to a monastery to visit a friend; afterward, she said, "Why would I want to be a Buddhist? It's so boring and ugly." Read: there's nothing for kids to do, there's nothing fluffy or pink about it, and I need to reject this thing you hold so dear. A year later, though, she began engaging me in a series of conversations about the relationship between karma and luck. Her verdict was that you could believe in both: "You make your own karma, and you make your own luck, so luck must be part of your karma." I also have the great boon of working at a school with a meditation program for kids (see "Tough Lovingkindness," page 74) so she receives some training without the baggage of having to get it from her parents, and can test its value for herself.

The wonderful part of this project is that we are restoking the pioneer campfire and at the same time taking our cues from our children. We model generosity, we emphasize the importance of sticking with a task such as paying attention, or sitting in meditation, until it becomes a skill we're really good at—because that's when it's most pleasurable and meaningful and bears fruit. We are beefing up our own practice in the process, but the point here is that we are giving something really valuable to our children. In the Rahula Sutta, the Buddha guides his son to cultivate friendships with wise adults who can help him make good choices—people in whom he can trust and confide. If we can position ourselves to be those friends to children—our own or other people's—we are providing a great service. The neuro-developmentalist and pediatrician Mel Levine, who has written many books about child development in the U.S. Today, believes we live in the first-ever historical period when children look more to their peers and the media for their social cues than to their elders. If we don't want Hannah Montana and Iron Man serving as our kids' only role models, we need to earn and maintain their respect.

This special section is meant to be a sampling of how Buddhists in the U.S. Are teaching dharma to children, and to offer some inspiration and resources to those of us who want to create or access a Buddhist religious education that is germane to kids and authentic. The world of a child usually spans three spheres: home, school, and adults around him, and so the articles that follow focus on teaching kids—from preschool up to adolescence—in those areas. We chose to focus on the early and middle years of childhood because working with teens and young adults brings in other deep issues that deserve more attention than we can give here.

There are many, many beautifully designed dharma programs for kids at practice centers around the country—Shambhala, San Francisco Zen Center, Spirit Rock, Sokka Gakkai International, and Jodo Shinshu are all organizations that for decades have supported parents and offered instruction for children. The Dharma Rain Zen Center in Portland, Oregon, is another one, and its founders write about the road to building a dharma school. Peter Doobinin, the guiding teacher of New York City's Downtown Meditation Community, describes the meditation program he created in two public schools; and practitioners Tom Felt and Keith Platt share some of their approaches to parenting their twin girls at home and beyond. Finally, we offer some favorite books—reviewed for Tricycle by ten-year-old Olivia Dontsov, a New York City fifth grader—and a selection of websites, teaching resources, and other tools that we hope will kindle the campfire where it's needed.

Weychin SG

http://www.bgfl.org/bgfl/custom/resources_ftp/client_ftp/ks1/re/teddys_day_out/index.htm

Weychin SG

By Barbara O'Brien, About.com January 18, 2010

Weychin SG

The question of how to raise Buddhist children in a non-Buddhist culture is asked by Eileen Flynn at the Austin Statesman. As she says, it's a question that comes up for discussion at regular intervals and never seems to be satisfactorily resolved.

Buddhist doctrines are challenging enough for adults, never mind children. Let's face it; a religious narrative that involves a loving savior God who will take you to heaven is a lot easier to explain to a child than the Three Marks of Existence.

Flynn spoke to a Zen priest who has small children of his own. Zen embraces not knowing, he said. Good luck with the kids on that one, dude.

Children growing up in a place where Buddhism is openly respected and the Buddha's image is an icon of benevolence are far more likely, seems to me, to take a natural interest in Buddhism as they grow old enough to understand it. In the West, to raise children as Buddhists is to push them against cultural currents.

I understand many dharma centers in the West are making an effort to be more family friendly, developing programs for children and hosting events in which children can participate. Activities and lessons for children stress loving kindness, compassion, and mindfulness; doctrine, not so much.

But it seems to me that just helping children feel welcome and comfortable in a Buddhist temple or monastery is a good thing. It will predispose them to turn to Buddhism as they get older and feel a need for spiritual guidance.

Any other thoughts?

Weychin SG

ANYONE can go to HEAVEN

ANYONE

What do we mean by ANYONE? Doesn't Buddhism say that only Buddhists are rewarded in the afterlife?

According to Buddhism, where we go to after this life does not depend on our religion. In fact, there is no requirement to pray to, worship, or even believe in the Buddha to have a good afterlife.

What happens to us after this life depends on how we
conduct ourselves in this present life.

The path to Heaven is not by faith or worship,
but by doing good and avoiding evil.

The Buddha never said anything like ‘worship me and you shall be rewarded’. He also never threatened to punish anyone should they not believe in Him or follow His Teachings.

He said that there is nothing wrong in doubting or even questioning Him, as most people will take some time to fully understand His Teachings.

He stressed that everyone should seek, understand and experience the Truth for themselves, andnot to have blind faith in anyone or anything.

Thus Christians, Hindus, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Taoists, and even atheists, are all able to enjoy a blessed afterlife. But of course provided, that they have been 'good' people!

HEAVEN

What do we mean by HEAVEN?

Heaven can be said to be a place where we can reborn in after we die. It can also be a state of mind.

For example, a hot-tempered person may constantly be in a bad mood and fly into a rage easily. Such a person will cause those around him, himself included, to be miserable and upset all the time. On the other hand, take someone who is even-tempered, with a tranquil mind and always at peace with himself and others.

Because of his state of mind, the hot-tempered person's life will seem like Hell to him and those around him. Needless to say, the even-tempered person, and those around him will enjoy blissful, Heaven-like lives.

The Buddha's Teachings allow us the experience of Heaven on earth by showing us how to attain such blissful states of mind.

Apart from states of mind, Buddhists believe there are several realms or planes of existence in the universe, and these can be places of suffering or places of happiness. Traditionally the realms of suffering, (or Lower realms), include that of Hell; and the Happy (or Higher) realms are the Human realm and the Heavenly realms.

Which realm or plane we will be reborn in depends on the kamma which we have accumulated for ourselves in this life, as well the kamma accumulated in our previous lives. This kamma is the result of habitual acts and behaviour.

The size of the human population on earth is therefore not fixed or static as in a closed-cycle, as rebirth is not limited to only the Human realm. There are many other planes of existence in the universe apart from our own Human realm where we can be reborn in, or where rebirth can take place from.

More on the different realms of existence in the More Questions page.

If we end up in a Lower realm, will we be there for all eternity?

Buddhists believe that the length of time spent in a Lower realm will depend on the amount of negative kamma that has been accumulated.

There is no such thing as eternal suffering for anyone, no matter how much evil was done.

Even though it may take a very long time, suffering will come to an end once the negative kamma has been exhausted.

Thus Buddhism does not subscribe to any unjust concept of infinite punishment for finite wrongdoings.

Buddhism also does not 'threaten' the followers of other religions with any form of punishment whatsoever. Everyone has the freedom to choose different beliefs and paths for themselves.

Do we stay in a Heavenly realm forever? Is Heaven the ultimate goal?

Beings who have done much good and accumulated much positive kamma may be reborn in a Heavenly realm. If one is not yet able to achieve Nibbana, the Buddha encouraged all of us to lead upright and virtuous lives in order for us to be reborn in a Higher realm, and more importantly to protect ourselves from rebirth in a Lower realm.

While existence in a Heavenly realm may be for an extremely long time, it is still not forever. Beings in such realms will also eventually pass away and be reborn once their positive kamma has been exhausted.

As such, Buddhists do not consider rebirth in a Heavenly realm to be the ultimate goal. For most Buddhists, the ultimate objective would be to attain Nibbana.

It is said that Nanda, the Buddha's half-brother, was discontented and told the Buddha he wanted to give up the holy life. The Buddha then brought him to one of the Heavenly realms and showed him all its delights. The Buddha promised him that he would be able to enjoy all these delights if he practiced the Dhamma well. This inspired Nanda and he practiced very hard so that he could be reborn in that heavenly realm.

While practicing, Nanda gradually realized that Nibbana is a far greater happiness than being in Heaven, and he then released the Buddha from his earlier promise.

What then is Nibbana?

Without already practicing Buddhism and being on the path laid down by the Buddha, Nibbanacan be a difficult concept to grasp or understand. It is like trying to explain colours to the blind, or sound to the deaf. Conventional language cannot adequately describe Nibbana. It has to be experienced to be understood.

However, in short, Nibbana is the total absence of all craving and suffering. It is achieved by one who has eradicated all aspects of greed, hatred and delusion. It is a state of permanent bliss and happiness from which there is no more rebirth.

The Buddha has taught us how to reduce, and eventually put an end to greed, hatred and delusion in all their various forms. And this can be done by cultivating the positive qualities of generosity and kindness, patience and compassion, morality and wisdom.

With the proper practice of Buddhism, it is thus possible for anyone of us to experience the peace and happiness of Nibbana, even in our present lives. Investigate, examine and try out the Teachings of the Buddha for yourself!

No need to wait for death,
experience Heaven while you are still alive.
Heaven right here and now,
is the taste of Nibbana in this very life.

Weychin SG

Just BE GOOD!

The Buddha's advice is to :

Do Good, Avoid Evil, and Purify the Mind.

In practical everyday terms, this means the practice of Dana, Sila and Bhavana.

What is Dana?

This simply means 'giving', charity or helping others. This can be practiced in many different ways. You can do so through speech by using kind and encouraging words with others. Even giving something as simple as a smile can help another if it cheers them up and brightens their day.

You can always lend a hand to anyone who needs help. You can volunteer your efforts or your resources to the less fortunate. You can also share the Buddha's Teachings to anyone who is interested in them. It is the greatest gift of all.

However, try to do all this without regret, discrimination or ulterior motives. Practice Dana with kindness, compassion and empathy.

What is Sila?

This means 'Morality' and the Buddha advised us to observe the Five Precepts in the cultivation of Sila :

1. Abstain from killing any living beings.
2. Abstain from taking what is not given.
3. Abstain from sexual misconduct.
4. Abstain from lying and false speech.
5. Abstain from the abusive consumption of intoxicants and drugs.

These Precepts are not commandments, but are rules that Buddhists take upon themselves to observe. They are observed not because of fear of punishment but because we realize that such actions harm others as well as ourselves.

For example, as we ourselves do not wish to be killed or harmed, we realize that all other beings also do not wish to be killed or harmed. Likewise as we do not wish to be victims of theft, adultery, lies and slander, we ourselves should avoid doing such acts to others.

The Buddha also strongly advocated avoiding intoxicants and drugs. This is because once you have come under the influence of alcohol or illicit drugs, you are capable of committing any acts that you would not have done otherwise.

Should you break the Precepts, the Buddhist way is to be fully aware that you have done so, try your best to make amends, and then resolve to try harder from then on.

Morality is the foundation which everything else rests upon. It thus might be a good idea to memorize the Five Precepts so that you can be mindful of them at all times.

One of our free distribution items is a colourful and attractive bookmark with the Five Precepts, which you can keep with you always as a gentle reminder.

And once the observing of the Five Precepts becomes an instinctive part of your behaviour, developing its positive aspects will come easily and naturally :

1. The practice of Harmlessness and Compassion.
2. The practice of Kindness and Generosity.
3. The practice of Faithfulness and Responsibility.
4. The practice of Truthfulness and Pleasant Speech.
5. The practice of Self-control and Mindfulness.

What is Bhavana?

Bhavana means the practice of 'Mind Cultivation' or simply meditation. Meditation can be said to purify the mind by making it easier to develop Generosity and Compassion, and then to finally acquire Wisdom.

Buddhist meditation is usually classified into two types - Vipassana or Insight meditation, andSamatha or Concentration meditation. There are many forms of Samatha meditation, and Metta or Loving-Kindness meditation is one of its more widely practiced forms. All these types of meditation have their benefits.

However, it is usually recognized that it is through the practice of Vipassana or Insight meditation that we can come to fully know ourselves. And that through this we will be able to better realize and understand the Buddha's Teachings and to see things as they truly are.

Meditation can be said to be the highest form of Buddhist practice as the Buddha himself attained Enlightenment through meditation.

You do not need long meditation sessions to begin with. Even a short 10 to 20 minute session every day or every other day will do wonders. This is a good place to start learning Buddhist Meditation.

Do we need to worship the Buddha, go to temples regularly, or make offerings or sacrifices?

Buddhists do not worship the Buddha. We consider Him as our Teacher and we thus respect Him as such. Buddhists bowing to a statue of the Buddha is simply our way of showing respect. This is akin to saluting a country's flag, or standing up while a national anthem is being played.

There is also no strict need to visit temples regularly. Many Buddhists however, do so to meet with fellow Buddhists or learn more about the Teachings. There is also no requirement at all to make offerings, and Buddhists certainly do not make any sacrifices whatsoever!

The Buddha said that the best way to respect Him is to practice what he had taught. This means a mindful and consistent practice, as opposed to visiting a temple once a week, and reverting to bad habits the rest of the time.

What is the significance of the Buddhist offerings?

Traditionally, joss or incense sticks, candles, and flowers are three of the common offerings. Informed Buddhists will know that these items are not really 'offerings', but are actually just symbolic reminders.

For example. joss sticks or incense remind us of the 'fragrance' of the Buddha's Teachings which pervade the world. Candles represent His Teachings which light our way in darkness. And flowers remind us that our lives are impermanent, like the flowers we 'offer'.

Flowers when in bloom are beautiful and sweet smelling, but will fade and whither after only a few days. Similarly, all of us will eventually grow old and die. Therefore, the flowers remind us that we should use as much of our time as possible to do good for others, and to practice the Buddha's Teachings.

So what basically is kamma?

Kamma literally means 'intentional action', and this refers to the Buddhist belief in the Principle of Cause and Effect. We believe that every intentional act will give rise to a corresponding result, in either the present life or in a future one.

The results of kamma should thus not be seen as rewards or punishments for acts done, but simply the results or outcome of any such intentional acts. Positive actions will eventually result in positive consequences, and negative actions will eventually result in negative consequences.

Using an ordinary common-sense example of Cause and Effect, take a person who smokes, drinks and eats excessively without doing any regular exercise. As a result of his actions, this person will have a high likelihood of having a stroke or heart disease and ultimately go through much suffering. On the other hand, a person who watches his diet and takes good care of his body will usually be able to have a healthy life, even in old age.

Therefore, a person who has done much good and thus accumulated much positive kamma will likely enjoy a happy life and gravitate towards a Human, or even a Heavenly realm of existence in the next rebirth. Conversely, someone who has done many bad deeds and accumulated much negative kamma may have a life plagued with difficulties, and then also be reborn in a Lower realm of existence.

Kamma can also be viewed as seeds. You have the choice of the seeds you wish to grow. Therefore sow as many good seeds as you possibly can!

More on kamma and rebirth in our More Questions page.

The importance of Kamma :

Kamma is the only possession we really own,
and which we take with us from life to life.

Every intentional act of body,
speech and mind is like a seed planted;
that will grow when conditions are right.
Thus as you sow, you shall reap.

What if we have already done many bad things? Can we ask the Buddha to forgive us?

The Buddha is considered our Teacher and not someone that we pray to for forgiveness. Buddhists do not believe in any external agencies that we must ask forgiveness from, or worship for salvation.

If Buddhists were to ask for forgiveness, it would be to the person that we wronged, and not to a third party or external agency. If it were not possible to be forgiven by the person we wronged or to make amends, then we should let the matter go, learn from it and forgive ourselves, of course provided that we are sincere about it.

The Buddha teaches us that we are each responsible for our own actions, and that we are each capable of shaping our own destinies. We should thus consider carefully before doing anything wrong, and instead try to do right at all times.

If you are unsure whether an action is right or wrong, you can apply this simple rule of thumb as taught by the Buddha : if the action harms either yourself or another, or both; then avoid doing that action. If not, then go right on ahead!

Abraham Lincoln :
"When I do good, I feel good.
When I do bad, I feel bad.
That's my religion."

What then can we do to overcome the negative kamma from any bad deeds that we may have done?

According to the principle of Cause and Effect, negative kamma cannot simply be erased by positive kamma. Any act intentionally done will have its consequences in either the near or far future.

The Buddha used the analogy of salt in a river to advise us on how to diminish the effects of negative kamma. He said that while a tablespoon of salt will make a cup of water very salty, this same tablespoon of salt will have practically no effect on the taste of a river.

Simply put, dilute any negative kamma you may have by accumulating more positive kamma.

And positive kamma is accumulated by the practice of Dana, Sila and Bhavana.

The Buddha :
"Do not disregard merit saying it will not come to me.
By each drop of water is a water-jar filled.
Similarly the wise man gathering little by little,
fills himself with good."

http://www.justbegood.net/BeGood.htm

Weychin SG

This post was inspired by recent, and very cute events. Also, I’ve noticed for a long time that people tend to find my blog searching Google for tips on raising children Buddhist. So this post is dedicated to all you Buddhist parents out there! Some quick background information first though. My wife is Japanese and was raised Buddhist, while I was a convert at 16, but more active 3 years ago (at 27). In a way, we have the benefit of raising our daughter with the richness of Asian Buddhist heritage, but also with the contemporary background I have. The best of both worlds I think.

We have a small Buddhist altar that we bought in Japan, specifically the temple of Tsukiji Hongwanji in Tokyo, and from the beginning we showed her the altar. When she was about a year old, she could grasp the small bell-ringer and smack the bell with it. She loved it, and would BANG-BANG-BANG the bell over and over again, especially with the wooden handle, not the padded end.

We also took her to Sunday temple services with us by the time she was 4 months old. The first time she went to the temple, she cried a lot when they rang the temple bell, being very loud and sudden, but I would just take her to the hallway and just pace the halls back and forth and she would sleep in my arms. I really enjoyed those times actually. Many of the old Japanese-American ladies at our temple would also fawn all over the baby as well, so she was very popular.

Somehow in the process she also learned how to gassho which means to put your hands togetherin respect. What was funny is that she learned this on her own. I remember watching a documentary on Buddhist temples one time, and they were featuring the famous Japanese temple of Taima-dera, where the Taima Mandala tapestry was housed, and when they showed the tapestry on the screen, she suddenly did gassho on her own. Each time they showed the image, she did it again and again. The mandala image looks similar to the altar we have at the temple in Seattle, so she must have made a mental connection on her own.

Now my daughter is 21 months old, and has started a new habit. She likes to open the altar herself (with help from mom), smack the bell a few times, put her hands together in gassho, and then wave “bye-bye” to the image of Amida Buddha. This isn’t something we’ve taught her, but something she just picked up on her own. Also, she has fun decorating my Buddhist books with her stickers when I’m not looking:

The reason why I mention all this is that when it comes to raising children as Buddhist, I think the best approach is teaching by example, not trying to force it down their throats, or confuse them with a bunch of terms and practices they won’t understand. When I tell her about Amida Buddha, I just tell her he’s a nice guy. I don’t need to emphasize things like Enlightenment, or the nature of the Buddhas. I don’t need to inundate her with abstract topics like compassion or wisdom. She’ll figure it out later in her own time and if she’s curious. If she’s not curious, what’s the point in lecturing her?

Jodo Shinshu, among Buddhist sects, is among the most family-friendly. It emphasizes gratitude and humility, and is geared toward working-class people given its roots as a lay-Buddhist organization from 12-13th century Japan.* So, we take her to the Sunday School there, and she plays on the slide, eats snacks and occasionally makes crafts. The themes are not overtly Buddhist, but just being in a wholesome Buddhist environment works wonders. She learns to be thankful for the food she receives, she learns to speak kindly to others, and to be nice to other children.

That’s the real secret of raising Buddhist children. The Buddha emphasized in many, many texts the importance of living a wholesome, moral lifestyle, and extending this to one’s family as well. The Buddha encouraged gratitude and respect to one’s parents, encouraged parents to love and protect their children, and for spouses to love and respect one another. A great sutra for that spells this out is the Sigalovada Sutta in the Pali Canon (DN 31).**

Lastly, one other thing to remember is that children are adults in little bodies. You do not own your children, but they are in your care, and since you have brought them into this world, fragile and confused, you owe them the best, most loving and wholesome life you can offer them. Someday you or your children will die and separate from one another, but if you make efforts now to raise them in a loving environment, it will benefit them for many years to come, and indirectly many other people in the world.

Namuamidabu

* – The early Shinshu followers used to meet in houses from time to time and usually an elder led the service. The more institutionalized Jodo Shinshu religion came later.

** – I am still amazed how many people in the West incorrectly teach that Buddhism is a “do anything you want” religion, but if you read the Buddha’s teachings, the sutras, you will see a very different picture. The Buddha strongly emphasized the need to cause as little harm as possible, and Moral Precepts were his “gift” (his words, not mine) to the world. People who follow the precepts do many other people kindness and create far fewer problems for themselves. This includes the fifth precept,abstension from alcohol and drugs. That’s one habit you don’t want your kids to learn by example.

Weychin SG

http://japanlifeandreligion.com/2008/10/20/raising-buddhist-children/

Weychin SG

Animated Audio Stories

http://www.jatakkatha.com/

Weychin SG

Sep 3, 2007 Mary Rayme

Weychin SG

Tibetan Buddhists are compulsively kinetic about their prayers. What does that mean? Basically, Tibetans live high up in the Himalaya mountain range, and wind is an essential part of their daily lives. Over thousands of years the Tibetans have created a unique spiritual system based on deities such as the horse god who travels the winds. The Tibetans put up prayer flags on their summits as a way of having the winds (or the horse god) distribute their well intentioned prayers of peace and love to all. (They also have unique prayer wheels that they spin to distribute prayer.)

This fun art project for kids teaches comparative religion, color symbolism, and helps children focus on the specific intentions of their prayers and positive thoughts.

Start with a clean, white bed sheet and decide how large your prayer flags should be. Measure, divide and tear your prayer flags from the sheet. A standard twin bedsheet yields around 40, 8-inch by 9-inch prayer flags. It is better to rip the sheet so the frayed edges more easily disintegrate into the wind. The flags are meant to dissolve into the wind and have new ones put up on top of the old ones.

Tibetans have color meanings associated with their flags. Blue is meant to symbolize the sky, white symbolizes wind, red symbolizes fire, green symbolizes water, and yellow stands for earth. Decide what color the prayer flags should be. There are inexpensive dyes available at most major discount department stores and Kool Aid can be also be used as an effective fabric dye. Dye your flags, rinse by hand, and put them into your dryer to dry. Take them out quickly so they can dry flat.

Talk to the kids first before beginning the project. Ask them what the major things are that they pray for in life. Most kids have a few important things they pray for: their parents, other family members, their pets, and of course, electronics. Discuss important positive things that kids can pray for that can apply to the whole world: peace, love, prosperity, joy. Then ask the kids to draw symbols or pictures of the things or people they pray for. Most kids draw pictures of their pets, family, and sunshine. The children may also use words to get their prayer message across.

Experiment as to what is best for marking on the fabric and colors that have chosen. Sharpie markers worked well as did a couple of metallic ink markers to provide shiny contrast for the darker colors of dyed fabric.

Encourage the children to complete a prayer flag before moving on to another. When the flags are finished, whip stitch them onto a long line of twine in a color pattern. A large needle and embroidery thread work well to hand sew about 20 flags onto a piece of twine using a whipstitch. With enough flags for two long strands, find a common area, preferably outdoors, to hang your flags. The flags can also be hung indoors – this makes a beautiful and attractive decorative hanging in any spac

Fcukpap SG

the beauty of buddhism is amplified through children's innocence ...

Weychin SG

“Family” according to Buddhist social philosophy refers to the grouping of people living under the same roof. Typically a family, in this context, will consist of a married couple and their children and sometimes one or more grandparents. These people are tied by the same genetic material. We are all members of a family from the time of our birth till we die.

From this central meaning the concept is extended to include wider relatives, neighbours, friends, neighbours, community, society and ultimately to all humanity and all sentient beings.

Traditionally Buddhists regard the family unit as the core of the community and society and without a solid core made up of moral and ethical values, the community and society will suffer. If, at the family level, there is adherence to the Buddhist beliefs and teachings, then the community and society also adhere to them.

Those who see worldly life as an obstacle to Dharma see no Dharma in everyday actions; they have not yet discovered that there are no everyday actions outside of Dharma.
Thirteenth Century Zen Master Dogen

The Buddha talked of many ways that family life can lead to happiness and blessings:

Many times it is easier said than done to maintain a sense of gratitude, loving-kindness, compassion, patience and a sense of calm, when we live in a family. We can read and study the Buddha’s teachings and think we ‘get it’, but when the frictions of family living rub on us we find we have not internalised the teachings – we are not as engaged as we would like to be.

Family Buddhism aims to support us all to use this ‘family rub’ to work towards our own enlightenment and the enlightenment of others. The focus is primarily on mindfulness and compassionate communication and on how to integrate compassion and wisdom in our family life.

What more wonderful blessing could we have than to have a human life and be part of a human family? What more wonderful opportunities to practice the Dharma and sow beneficial karmic seeds, could we have?

http://www.familybuddhism.com/buddha_on_family.php