Buddhist website for children

last SG · 2011-03-12T08:38:49+00:00

Tibetan Buddhists are compulsively kinetic about their prayers. What does that mean? Basically, Tibetans live high up in the Himalaya mountain range, an...

Weychin SG

the beauty of buddhism is amplified through children's innocence ...

Beautiful and serene....

Weychin SG

Buddhism and children

I read an interesting article in the latest Tricycle Buddhist Review regarding Buddhism and children. Basically the author, Clark Strand, was saying that American Buddhists need to teach their children to be Buddhists to make sure the religion continues to grow or it risks dying out.

While I'm sure that his intentions are good this article raises a big red flag for me. That is because I do not feel that children should be indoctrinated or forced into their parent's religion. Perhaps it stems from being raised in a religion that told me not to question the things being taught to me as absolute and unassailable truth. And the strong feelings of anger, being lied to, mislead and being spiritually and mentally abused that came with realizing that there was more out there then I was blindly taught to believe in.

Author and Atheist Richard Dawkins has some interesting things to say regarding children and religion:

I think we should all wince when we hear a small child being labeled as belonging to some particular religion or another. Small children are too young to decide their views on the origins of the cosmos, of life and of morals.

James: Dawkins is on to something yet I do not feel that this means we should not teach our children certain things such as ways to relax and calm themselves when feeling afraid and scared. This could come in the form (for Buddhist parents but also for those of other faiths) of teaching a type of basic, dogma-free meditation or just simple breathing techniques. I also see it important to teach them basic humanity--right and wrong, kindness, compassion, love, acceptance and other life lessons.

This also means that we must look into whether children should be allowed to join monasteries or if a person must be at least 18 before being allowed to enter into such a major life decision/commitment. We Buddhists (and most importantly monks and lay leaders) should study and re-evaluate what the monastic life does to a child. However, I understand that most children do not take actual monastic vows. I also realize that in many Buddhist countries the monasteries act as schools and homes for poor, unwanted children but monks aren't trained to be parents either. These are murky, difficult issues to wrestle with to be sure. I need to meditate upon this more.

In my opinion, however, forcing hard religious opinions and beliefs upon children blocks their own ability to decide things for themselves and sets them up for intolerance and distrust of others in their adult years. At the very least I think that parents and monasteries should emphasize this important teaching by Buddha from the Kalama Sutra:

Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Nor traditions because they are old and have been handed down from generation to generation and in many locations. Nor in rumor because it has been spoken by many. Nor in writings by sages because sages wrote them. Nor in one’s own fancies, thinking that it is such an extraordinary thought, it must have been inspired by a god or higher power. Nor in inferences drawn from some haphazard assumption made by us. Nor in what seems to be of necessity by analogy. Nor in anything merely because it is based on the authority of our teachers, masters, and elders.

However, after thorough observation, investigation, analysis and reflection, when you find that anything agrees with reason and your experience, and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, and of the world at large; accept only that as true, and shape your life in accordance with it; and live up to it.

These words, the Buddha went on to say, must be applied to his own teachings.

James: There is nothing wrong with also teaching the basic, general teachings of the Buddha and Dharma but I believe that it should be coupled with telling children that there are other beliefs out there. In addition, teach them not to let anyone tell them what to believe or not to believe. To quote Dawkins again:

Let children learn about different faiths, let them notice their incompatibility, and let them draw their own conclusions about the consequences of that incompatibility. As for whether any are "valid," let them make up their own minds when they are old enough to do so.

http://thebuddhistblog.blogspot.com/2007/08/buddhism-and-children.html

paperflower SG

cool, I could share this with my daughter.
thanks for the links!

An Eternal Now SG

Hi paperflower, long time no see :)

sinweiy SG

ya since 2008. :)

Weychin SG

51COMMENTS

Children and Buddhist practice sometimes seem at odds with each other in North America. Although there is a small percentage of “Dharma Brats” (or children and young adults whose parents converted to Buddhism) who have practiced for most of their lives, it seems to be much less than you would find amongst people from other religious/spiritual backgrounds. This seems especially true amongst the Tibetan, Zen, and Vipassana convert communities made up of predominantly middle and upper class, college educated, white North Americans.

Over at Cheerio Road, Karen Maezen Miller has a post entitled “not teaching children to meditate” that demonstrates some of what I’m talking about. I actually agree with a few of her points, and appreciate the experience she has had leading a children’s program at a Zen Center, and also as a parent. I’m not a parent, so I sometimes feel like stepping in on issues like this aren’t my territory.

At the same time, I have had multiple jobs working with children, spent three years as a teacher in our zen center’s children’s program, and am currently in the middle of a lot of discussions about the place and role of children and youth within our sangha. All of this gives me a small window of perspective. I’m not expert, but I’m also not someone who has no experience with kids, and just wants to pontificate. So, whatever I will say is coming from a somewhat outsider position, and I’d encourage parents who are Buddhist practitioners to chime in on this issue.

One of the comments in the Cheerio Road post I probably most bristle at is this:

About the spiritual training of young, my view is a bit of the same. How you behave in your home is their spiritual upbringing. I think we have to be careful with all forms of ideological indoctrination, and that is what spiritual training is in children: the imposition of a set of abstract beliefs and ideals. Children will take these from of us, but I don’t think dogma serves anyone for long. After all, I was a very good Sunday School student, the star of my confirmation class, and yet I had my own spiritual crisis to resolve later in life. We all do.

I always remind myself that I’m not trying to raise a Buddhist child. I’m trying to raise a Buddhist mother, and it’s taking all my time! Not only my family, but also everyone everywhere will be served by my devoted discipline in my own training. Not because I’m self-important, but in recognition of the one true reality: no self. We are all interdependent, which means we are all one.

Before I speak about my disagreements, I will say that above all, the behavior of adult mentor figures, whether parents, extended family, teachers, or others, IS of most importance. So, we agree there.

Now to the areas of contention.

1. The Sunday School example—it’s no secret that many convert Buddhists grew up and/or had significant contact with Christian or Jewish communities. They have parents and/or grandparents who are, or were, devout Christians or Jews, and who forced them to attend regular religious instruction as a child, instruction that was often about feeding children a worldview that had to be accepted as true. So, there’s an understandable desire to not repeat those experiences with their kids. However, how much of this concern over indoctrination valid, and how much is a reaction to what they experienced in Judeo-Christian settings?

2. Uber-Individualism—Buddhists in the “West,” especially convert Buddhists, struggle with building long lasting, sustainable communities. Children and teens aren’t always welcome, let alone considered vital members of the sangha. But beyond Buddhism, community in general is quite challenged in places like the U.S. Whereas in the past, friends, neighbors, and community elders were all to some degree or another considered part of the extended parenting family, today for most children, these people are often viewed with suspicion. Teachers, spiritual leaders, and other community leaders are also viewed as much with suspicion as being potentially good influences on children. Now, certainly there are valid reasons for some of this suspicion, and I think it’s quite important for parents to be careful and minimize risks, but how much of the breakdown in community in general is due to obsession with the nuclear family, and an excessive focus on individuality?

When I think of the Karen, Korean, and Vietnamese Buddhist students I have had, all first generation immigrants, the picture is different. The children are cared for by extended family and neighborhood elders, they regularly attend Buddhist services with their families, and they are considered to be an important part of the sangha. This doesn’t mean that these children have perfect lives – sometimes far from it – but whereas native born Americans struggle with community, immigrants and refugees tend to have thriving communities, religious and otherwise.

In addition, Pure Land and Nichiren communities in North America, which are still predominantly Asian-American in membership, seem to have fairly strong programs for children of all ages. Historically, these sanghas functioned as cultural hubs for incoming Japanese, Chinese, Korean, and other Asian immigrants, where children were simply integrated in a way similar to Christian churches. Today, these communities are attracting more racially diverse membership, and are less of the cultural hub that they used to be, as the descendants of the sanghas’ founding members have spread across the continent, left Buddhism, and/or have found other forms of Buddhism to practice. However, overall, from what I have seen, there still seems to be less of the uber-individualism that dominates many convert Buddhism communities.

3. In other parts of Ms. Miller’s post, she argues that children have a natural ability to be present. That they already “practice single-minded attention.” And about Buddhist practice in general, she states:

The aim of all Buddhist practice is to return to our natural state of wide-eyed wonder and unselfconsciousness that we can observe in our children many times a day.

I don’t agree. Childhood openness is wonderful and beautiful, but is it what “the aim” of Buddhist practice is? First of all, when I think of my own childhood, that wonderful openness she is speaking about was there, but sure as hell not always. And sometimes, rarely. Some of the time, at least, I was completely trapped in fear or anger, which stunted any curiosity or openness. I often acted out of convoluted views about both my own life and the world around me because I was—a kid. I didn’t know any better. That’s what kids do. And when I was in that more open, perhaps “pure or “natural state” – well, I was there, but I had no idea how to bring those experiences to bear on the rest of my life.

Perhaps if I had been in a class where things like meditation and basic Buddhist teachings were taught, things would have been different. Or maybe not. But we don’t leave other things in life up to some sort of osmosis. Children go to school. They join recreation center leagues to learn how to play sports. They are put in classes to learn arts and crafts. Parents directly teach children social skills. So, what’s so different about spiritual practice?

This gets to my final point. In our sangha, we have a children’s and youth program that not only teaches meditation, but also some of the basic Buddhist messages, such as the Four Noble truths and Eight Fold Path. The kids learn variations on the Buddha’s life story, and have opportunities to explore it all through arts, crafts, discussion, meditation, yoga, and sometimes service projects. Some might say this is indoctrination, but my own experience as a teacher in the program was that it was about exploration, providing some structures and support for exploration. And that is probably the main reason why I felt compelled to write all of this. I have seen how structures like zazen, chanting, and bowing can be offered as opportunities to explore life at an early age, as well as how basic Buddhist teachings can be offered in the same way. And the children respond. It impacts their lives, and the lives of their friends and family. The children I have worked with are generally more able to handle difficult emotions than the average child, and they seem to be more attentive to the details of their lives, regardless of what they think about actual Buddhist teachings. Some of them will eventually find a different path, or will rebel against what they’ve been taught. But that seems pretty natural to me. It’s not what is taught, but how it’s approached that matters most in my opinion. And Buddhism is ready made to be worked with openly, as an exploration and experiment.

So, if you are a Buddhist parent who is more in line with what Ms. Miller says, I’d like offer the following question: What is motivating your views? I don’t ask this because I think you are necessarily right or wrong. It’s more a question I think is worth exploring.

A few weeks ago, I spoke of our center as developing a “lifespan” practice field. We have always attempted to program not just for adults, but also for children. And in recent years, we have been starting to think more deliberately about what this means, and how we might better support people in all stages of life. So, overall, I’m interested in what parents think out there. How do you work with children? How should sanghas work with children? How does your sangha in particular work with children?

Weychin SG

The Six Main Religions

Buddhism

Buddhism began in northeastern India and is based on the teachings of Siddhartha Gautama. The religion is 2,500 years old and is followed by 350 million Buddhists worldwide.

Buddhism is the main religion in many Asian countries. It is a religion about suffering and the need to get rid of it. A key concept of Buddhism is Nirvana, the most enlightened, and blissful state that one can achieve. A state without suffering.

Place of Origin North East India Founder Siddhartha Gautama (The Buddha) Sacred Text Tripitaka Sacred Building Stupa Major Festivals Wesak Main Branches
(Denominations) Theravada, Mahayana, Tibetan, Chinese and Japanese groups including Soto and Zen

How is Buddhism different from other religions?

Buddhism is different from many other faiths because it is not centred on the relationship between humanity and God. Buddhists do not believe in a personal creator God.

Who is the founder of Buddhism?

The Buddhist tradition is founded on and inspired by the teachings of Siddhartha Gautama. He was called the Buddha and lived in the 4th or 5th century B.C. in India.

Why is Siddhartha Gautama so important to Buddhists?

Siddhartha Gautama found the path to Enlightenment. By doing so he was led from the pain of suffering and rebirth towards the path of Enlightenment and became known as the Buddha or "awakened one".

Who was Siddhartha Gautama?

Siddharta Gautama is known as the Buddha.

He was born around the year 580 BCE in the village of Lumbini in Nepal. He was born into a royal family and for many years lived with in the palace walls away from the sufferings of life; sufferings such as sickness, age, and death. He did not know what they were.

One day, after growing-up, marrying and having a child, Siddhartha went outside the royal palace and saw, each for the first time, an old man, a sick man, and a corpse. He was worried by what he saw. He learned that sickness, age, and death were the inevitable fate of human beings — a fate no-one could avoid.

Why did Siddhartha Gautama stop being a prince and become a Holy Man?

Siddharta had also seen a monk, and he decided this was a sign that he should leave his protected royal life and live as a homeless Holy Man.

Siddharta's travels showed him much more of the the suffering of the world.
He searched for a way to escape the inevitability of death, old age and pain first by studying with religious men. This didn't provide him with an answer.

What are the symbols of Buddhism?

The wheel of life which symbolises the cycle of life, death and rebirth.
The eight spokes remind people that the Buddha taught about eight ways of life. Lotus The lotus flower symbolises purity and divine birth.
The lotus flower grows in mud at the bottom of a pool, but rises above the surface to become a beautiful flower. Buddhist say this is how people should rise above everything which is dukkha. A flower may be very beautiful and have a wonderful scent, but it soon withers and dies. This shows that nothing in life is perfect.

Images of Buddha
Statues of Buddha include lots of symbols. There are 32 symbols in Buddhism which show that the Buddha was a special person. Any of these symbols can be used on statues. For example the Buddha is often shown with:

Where do Buddhists Worship?

Buddhist worship at home or at a temple. Worshippers may sit on the floor barefoot facing an image of Buddha and chanting. It is very important that their feet face away from the image of Buddha. They listen to monks chanting from religious texts and take part in prayers.

Home

Buddhists will often have a shrine. There will be a statue of Buddha, candles, and an incense burner.

Temple

Buddhist temples come in many shapes. Perhaps the best known are the pagodas of China and Japan. Another typical Buddhist building is the Stupa (upside down bowl shape). All Buddhist temples contain an image or a statue of Buddha.

Buddhist Temples in Thailand

How to Buddhists Worship?

Buddhist worship is called puja. People chant to show their love for the Buddha. They make offerings of flowers, candles, incense and pure water at a shrine. People thank Buddha for his teachings.

When Buddhist worship alone they usually meditate and read from the Buddhist holy books.

Every month. most Buddhists have special religious days. These are often days when there is a full moon. Many Buddhists go to temples to worship on these special days.

What is Enlightenment and Nirvana / Nibbana?

Buddhist believe that there is a cycle of birth, life and death and rebirth. This goes on and on. They believe that unless someone gains Enlightenment, when they die they will be reborn. If a person can gain Enlightenment, they can break out of this cycle.

Breaking out of the cycle is called Nirvana (sometimes called Nibbana). It is the end of everything that is not perfect. It is perfect peace, free of suffering.

Meditation

Buddhists try to reach Nirvana by following the Buddha's teaching and by meditating. Meditation means training the mind to empty it all of thoughts. when this happens what is important comes clear.

What is the sacred text (Holy Book) of Buddhists?

The sacred book of Buddhism is called the Tripitaka (called Tipitaka in Pali). It is also called the Pali Canon, after the language in which it was first written.

It is written in an ancient Indian language called Pali which is very close to the language that the Buddha himself spoke. The Tripitaka is a very large book. The English translation of it takes up nearly forty volumes.

Buddhism is based on Buddha's teachings. At first these were passed down by word of mouth and later were complied into two sets of scripture. One set by Council of Monks of the Theravada school (the Tripitaka) the other by the Mahayana school ( the Sutras). Both were similar.

Both Theravada and Mahayana Buddhists generally accept the Tripitaka (called Tipitaka in Pali) as the Buddhist sacred writings.

The three section of the Tripitaka (three baskets of Wisdom) are

Parts of the Tripitaka such as the Dhamma-pada and the Sutta-Nipata are among the most expressive religious books in the world. Some of Buddha's parables are very similar to those used by Jesus.

What do Buddhist believe?

Buddhist believe that the Buddha saw the truth about what the world is like. They believe that nothing in the world is perfect, and that the Buddha found the answer to why it is like this. They do not believe that the Buddha was a god. He was a human being just like them. They believe that he was important because he gained Enlightenment, and he chose to teach other people how to reach it too.

The Three Jewels

There are three Buddhist central beliefs. These are known as the three jewels as they are felt to be so precious.

One important belief involves reincarnation: the concept that one must go through many cycles of birth, living, and death. After many such cycles, if a person releases their attachment to desire and the self, they can attain Nirvana - a state of liberation and freedom from suffering.

At the heart of the Buddha's teaching lie The Four Noble Truths and The Eightfold Path which lead the Buddhist towards the path of Enlightenment.

What did Buddha teach?

The Buddha's teaching is often divided into three parts.
These are the :

The Three Signs of Being

The Three Signs of Being are the ways that the Buddha used to describe life.

What is the First Noble Truth?

Dukkha: Suffering exists:
The first truth is that life is suffering i.e. life includes pain, getting old, disease, and ultimately death. We also endure psychological suffering like loneliness frustration, boredom, fear, embarrassment, disappointment and anger.

What is the Second Noble Truth?

Samudaya: There is a cause for suffering.
The second truth is that suffering is caused by craving and the needing to control things. It can take many forms: the desire for fame; the desire to avoid unpleasant sensations, like fear, anger or jealousy.

What is the Third Noble Truth?

Nirodha: There is an end to suffering.
The third truth is that suffering can be overcome and happiness can be attained; that true happiness and contentment are possible. lf let go of our craving and learn to live each day at a time (not dwelling in the past or the imagined future) then we can become happy and free. We then have more time and energy to help others. This is Nirvana.

What is the Fourth Noble Truth?
Magga: In order to end suffering, you must follow the Eightfold Path.
The fourth truth is that the Noble 8-fold Path is the path which leads to the end of suffering.

What is Dukkha?

Dukkha is suffering.

All existence is "dukkha"; without permanence and therefore filled with suffering.

The Noble Eight-fold Path focuses the mind on being fully aware of our thoughts and actions, and developing wisdom by understanding the Four Noble Truths. It is the way Buddhists should live their lives. The Buddha said that people should avoid extremes. They should not have or do too much, but neither should they have or do too little. The 'Middle Way' is the best.

The path to Enlightenment (nirvana) is through the practice and development of wisdom, morality and meditation.

Three Qualities Eightfold Path Wisdom (panna) Right View (understanding) Right Thought Morality (sila) Right Speech Right Action Right Livelihood Meditation (samadhi) Right Effort Right Mindfulness Right Contemplation (concentration)

What are the 5 Precepts (morals)?

These are rules to live by. The main five are:

What is Karma?

Karma is the law that every cause has an effect, i.e., our actions have results. This simple law explains a number of things: inequality in the world, why some are born handicapped and some gifted, why some live only a short life. Buddhists believe that are past actions have an effect on who or what we are in our next life.

Are There Different Types of Buddhism?

There are many different types of Buddhism, because the emphasis changes from country to country due to customs and culture. What does not vary is the essence of the teaching — the Dhamma or truth.

Theravada Buddhism, the school of Buddhism found in Burma, Thailand, Sri Lanka, Laos, Cambodia, Myanmar & in part, Indonesia, Vietnam & Malaysia.

Mahayana Buddhism, the school of Buddhism found in China, Japan, Korea and Vietnam.

Vajrayana Buddhism, the school of Buddhism found in Tibet, Nepal, Sikkim, Bhutan and Mongolia.

Jodo Shin Buddhism or Pure Land Buddhism mainly from India, Japan

Zen Buddhism

Buddhist Artifacts(Symbols)
Photographs of Buddhist artifacts with useful background notes.

Teddy's Day Out - An Interactive Game for Kids
Help Teddy to find the Buddhists symbols.

Story of the Buddha
Interactive storybook.

Buddhist Monastery Virtual Tour - Hertfordshire Grid for Learning
A virtual tour of Amaravati Buddhist Monastery in Hertfordshire.

Buddhism
For children

Life as a Buddhist
Written by a Thai Teenager

Also take a look at www.thaibuddhist.com

Place of Worship - The Buddhapadipa Temple, Wimbledon

Stories from Buddha's Life
For children

Buddhist Stories

Buddhism Worksheets
The following can be found on the ICT Teachers Site

Weychin SG

http://www.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/Homework/religion/buddhism.htm

Weychin SG

For the last six weeks I’ve been teaching a class at the University of New Hampshire’s Upward Bound program. The class is called “Success Studies” and it’s a combination of study skills and personal development, aimed at teens from impoverished backgrounds. The aim is to prepare them from college in order to break the cycle of poverty that affects poor communities.

We’ve done some meditation in every class; not much, just five or six minutes at a time during which we’ve explored the breath, learned different ways of paying attention that can help calm us or make us more alert, and cultivated lovingkindness. Most of the students seemed to really enjoy it. One always complained because he always turned up in class in a state of exhaustion and found it hard to close his eyes. The most common was complaint was that it was hard to sit up; some of these kids seem to have a goal of spending as much of their life horizontal as they possibly can, and they strive at all times to sink into their chairs.

These were kids aged 14 to 16. I’m sure meditation is beneficial for them, even in such small doses. Heck, even I felt better after our short sits. And there is a body of research and anecdotal evidence suggesting that meditating helps kids’ attention and emotional regulation in school. There’s a lot of interest in teaching meditation to younger people, as evidenced by this story of teenagers learning meditation in school, or an entire school in San Diego focused on “inner being,” or the meditation sessions in a high school in Staten Island.

I have a three-year-old (actually, she’s going on four) and I’m starting to wonder about how to introduce her to meditation. My wife and I have already encouraged her to talk deep slow breaths to calm herself (although I’ve discovered this does not work during a full-blown tantrum!), but we haven’t done anything more formal. I find myself wondering what kind of meditation would be most appropriate, how long to do it for, and what kind of language to use. My own style of teaching meditation tends to be rather adult. I can modify my language to talk meditation to teens, but I don’t think I yet know how to introduce basic principles of meditation to a little girl who still needs diapers at night!

There are some leads I’ll be following up. Amy Saltzman has a nice CD for kids called Still Quiet Place: Mindfulness for Young Children. I need to check that out again.

Some people are teaching meditation to preschoolers, and according to this recent article, Anne Kenan teaches a meditation class for 3- to 6-year-olds at New York City’s Shambhala Center.

I also have a rare copy of a book called Baby Buddhas, by Lisa Desmond. It’s sadly out of print, but when I reviewed it I was impressed at the way she found appropriate ways to introduce spiritual principles to children.

I think teaching my daughter to meditate is going to be much more challenging, although she’s less likely than my Upward Bound teens to complain about sitting upright!

http://www.wildmind.org/blogs/on-practice/meditation-for-children

Weychin SG

In the 500's BC, during the later part of theVedic period in India, the idea of reincarnation became very strong among Hindus. Most people believed that after you died, you would be reborn in another form, and then reborn again, and again, forever. But then people started to not like this idea. They didn't want reincarnation to just go on and on forever. Wasn't there any way to stop this; to get off the wheel of reincarnation and just be?

A young Indian prince named Siddhartha Gautama Buddha had an idea. He thought that you could get off the wheel of reincarnation if you were good and pure enough. He refused to be a prince anymore, and tried to spend his life being good and pure so he could get off the wheel. Gautama Buddha had many followers during his lifetime, and after he died he had even more. Most of Buddha's followers tried to be good while still living their normal lives - working in the fieldsor as soldiers, getting married, taking care of their parents and their children. But some of his followers adopted a Jain idea of getting away from the world so they could work full-time on being good and pure. These people were called monks ornuns.

In the 300s BC, one of the great Mauryan kings, Asoka, became a Buddhist, which helped Buddhism to succeed. Asoka convinced many other Indian people to become Buddhists.

At first, most Buddhists were in India. But by 500 AD Buddhism spread west to the Sassanian Empire and east to China and other parts of East Asia. By the 600s ADmost of the Buddhists in India had gone back to being Hindus again. They still remembered Buddha, but as one of many Hindu gods. In West Asia, most of the Buddhists converted to the new religion ofIslam.

In China, on the other hand, Buddhism got stronger and stronger. Soon most of the Buddhists were in China and not India. In China, as in India, most Buddhist people continued to lead more or less ordinary lives, but some Buddhist men and women left their jobs and their families in order to live in Buddhist monasteries asmonks or nuns.

Check out The Buddhist Shop

Weychin SG

http://www.historyforkids.org/learn/india/religion/buddhism.htm

Weychin SG

Person in Training not Buddhist in Training

I was posed this question by another blogger a few months back and the answer alluded me for some time. My own religion upbringing was open but the emphasis was on Orthodox Christianity and Catholicism. My own difficulties stemmed from the fact that religions placed so much emphasis into the minutia. The Greeks were huge on explaining that statues were bad (false idols) and icons were fine but the Virgin Mary was just Mary. Okay….

The Catholics were pretty big on statues and the Virgin Mary. Fine…

But I could give a hell about either the statues or the Virgin Mary. Whether one places emphasis on either aspects of those specific religions – neither had squat to do with my spirituality or personal growth but had everything to do with creating spiritually abusive dichotomies to push an agenda and keep the numbers high and the coffers heavy.

Organizational Buddhism functions in the same way. They exagerate the differences and expouse certain methods. They place one way and viewpoint over all the others. People are answerable, not to their own development, but to a Board of Directors.

Why would I want to be the Board of Directors over the spiritual growth of my child? Why would I want to place the same trappings that I impose on myself (for whatever reason) on a slate of a completely different experience and story?

Of children raised Buddhist, half do not continue to practice when they reach adulthood, 28% percent stop practicing any religion, and 22% change to another faith. Buddhists and Jehovah’s Witnesses are the two religious groups showing the lowest retention rate. (fromBuddhism by Numbers – Tricycle Magazine)

Pushing a child into one particular religion is just as bad when it comes from a Buddhist perspective as when it comes from a Jehovah’s Witnesses’ perspective. Holy shit! Pushing is pushing – whether the drug is crack or cocaine – it does the same damage.

I was given the opportunity to grow and develop a spirituality that worked for me and my personal experience. It was form-fitted and adapted to what I have seen and done, not to what I expect my daughter to see and do. I can pretty much guarantee that there will be a bit of Buddhist practice and philosophy simply through osmosis and proximity to my practice but her growth is her own.

In the end I just hope that I can impart the “bigger picture” aspects of my practice. The secular ones to be specific – Mindfulness, Compassion and an understanding that all fingers point to the moon but only from the viewpoint of the pointer. It would be great if I could help her point to the moon but I would never expect that her vantage point be the same as mine.

Be a compassionate and mindful Buddhist or secular humanist or Christian or Hindu or (fill in blank here). Just don’t insist that yours is the only finger that points at the moon.

But I’ll worry about that when the time comes. Right now I am just glad she falls asleep on my zabuton rather than the dog’s bed.

Cheers,

John

http://zendirtzendust.com/2009/10/24/will-i-raise-my-children-buddhist/

Weychin SG

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Thailand has been a Buddhist country for over 700 years.

To the best of my memory, I haven't been through any religious ritual or ceremony to become a Buddhist. Generally, Thai children learn and absorb Buddhist teachings simply by observing their parents and people around them.

Most Thai children are familiar with offering food to Buddhist monks in the mornings, especially on their birthday. It teaches them about kindness and giving.

Another Buddhist practice that children learn at an early age is doing bedtime chant.

The most common Buddhist practice in Thai families is chanting before going to bed. The chant that most parents teach their children is one that honors the Buddha. The chant begins with the following Pali words, “Namotasa bagavato...”

This is the most basic chant that honors the Buddha and his teachings. It also works as a reminder for Buddhists to do good and to refrain from evil.

I learned this bedtime chant from my parents when I was a child. Before I went to sleep, I would sit on the bed with my palms together, in front of the chest. Then, I would chant.

Some Buddhists have a separate prayer room where they do the chanting.

Growing up with Buddhist parents has made me who I am today. I learned the basic Buddhist teachings that my parents applied in their daily lives.

Gratitude is one of the most important Buddhist teachings that children learn from an early age.

In Thai society, parents and teachers are highly respected. Not only did our parents give us life, they also spent a lot of time raising us.

The teachers work hand-in-hand with the parents. They help the parents teach knowledge and skills so that one day the children can take care of themselves and their families.

Thais also consider Buddhist monks as teachers, because they pass on the Buddha's teachings. So, we're taught to be grateful to our parents, teachers and monks. Buddhist child is greeting his teacher in Thailand

A greeting gesture calledwai is a way that children show gratitude to their parents and teachers.

As Buddhist children, we're encouraged to be grateful and to return favors whenever possible. One way of doing that is by being attentive and to do your best in school.

In addition, Buddhist children are taught to be helpful. When I was young, I always helped my mother with the cooking and other house chores.

The most beautiful thing you can do for your parents is to take care of them when they're not well or when they're too old to care for themselves.

Gratitude is so important in Buddhist culture that there are special days when we formally express our gratitude to our parents and teachers. These days include Father's day, Mother's day and Teacher's day.

Thai children even learn to be grateful to natural resources such as water. Loy kratong festival is an occasion where Thais show their gratitude to the Goddess of water.

This is how Thai children are introduced to Buddhism.

Weychin SG

http://www.thailandbreeze.com/buddhism-for-children.html

Weychin SG

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3qlkuR8cog

Weychin SG

Home > Opinion

Colombo, Sri Lanka -- Indisputably, the Buddha Dhamma is the crowning glory of the cultural heritage of Sri Lanka. The Buddha?s teachings and Buddhist values are the greatest inheritance of the large majority of the Sinhala community living in the Western world. This inheritance continues to have an overpowering influence in shaping the lives of many Sinhela Buddhists, wherever in the world they choose to live.

A good number of Buddhist parents have attempted with varying degrees of success to share this inheritance with their children. They did not wish their children remain rootless in the Western world. They genuinely wanted to make it possible for their children to reconnect with the culture that they inherit, however embattled it may be.

Initiating Children into Buddhism

The most effective way of initiating their children into Buddhism is by the example set by parents by living their lives according to Buddhist principles. This will be reflected in the way how family issues and commitments are handled. Also, in the nature of relationships that are developed and maintained within and outside the family. Alongside such influence, parents need to provide right opportunities for their children to gain increased understanding of Buddhist teachings. Of course there is an abundance of readily available Buddhist literature, and website information for grown up children.

Exposure to Buddhist Practices

As the children grow up and their inquisitive spirit widens, they should be exposed to meaningful Buddhist practices and training that lead them to higher levels of emotional maturity and inner development. In particular, opportunities should be made available for them to practice Buddhist meditation under the proper guidance of monks and grown-ups who are knowledgeable and experienced in, and dedicated to such practices. These practices need to be organized and conducted in ways that are appealing to the young minds. By continued practice and regular training, children will be able to realize the benefits of mindfulness training and meditation in developing their capacity to better understand their lives. They will begin to appreciate how meditation can help them to find effective ways of dealing and coping with issues and problems that they face in their daily lives, including those encountered in their academic lives. They will find useful ways of overcoming stress and pressures of modern existence, and developing and leading a happy life.

Lack of Opportunities

Opportunities to expose our children to relevant and worthwhile Buddhist practices are to a great extent lacking in Western countries. Most Buddhist temples established in these countries under the patronage of Buddhists of Sri Lankan origin focuses more on a system of reverence and rituals. They are not organized as centers of learning of relevant Buddhist practices that help the younger generation to enrich their lives.

As in the case of typical Buddhist temples in Sri Lanka, the temples in most western countries are popular places for Buddhists to gather and participate in traditional Sri Lankan Buddhist rites and rituals conducted by Sri Lankan monks. They provide opportunities for Sri Lankan Buddhists to organize and participate in customary Sri Lankan Buddhist celebrations and to personally interact with Sri Lankan monks and obtain their services to perform traditional Buddhist rites and rituals both in the temple and in private homes. They provide opportunities for Buddhists to socialize and get to know each other.

Relevance of Programs

Most children find it difficult to relate to and understand the relevance of what is happening in Buddhist temples established in the West under the patronage of Sri Lankans. Programs and practices of these temples are focused on grown-ups. Temple activities are no different to those prevalent in the large majority of temples in Sri Lanka. Essentially, they are a duplication of popular rites and rituals practiced in temples in Sri Lanka. Often, many children accompany their parents to these temples merely to satisfy their parents, with the minimum of interest in participating in the activities that take place in these temples. Most temple activities in any event are conducted in Sinhela language and most children are not able to follow or fully understand the proceedings.

Particularly the mid and late teenagers and other more grown-up children, shy away from temples because they see little meaning in temple programs, little value in terms of providing them with anything worthwhile, let alone spiritual satisfaction and inspiration. Most of what is offered in temples have no bearing on the spiritual, intellectual or emotional needs and interests of those who are serious about learning and practicing the Buddha?s teachings.

Most monks and parents, who organize temple activities, tend to overlook the fact that these children live and operate in a socio-cultural environment that is different to that of Sri Lanka. The environment they live in has a strong influence on their attitudes, values and priorities. Their medium of communication is not Sinhela or Pali. They communicate, think and formulate ideas in a ?foreign? language. Under the circumstances, most Buddhist temples and organizations established by Sri Lankans in the West, cater little if at all, to the spiritual needs of Buddhist children. Once the present generation of adult Buddhists who faithfully patronize the prevailing temple rituals are no more, the need or relevance of these temples will diminish greatly.

Higher Forms of Inspiration and Training

Some adult Buddhists in the western world are also faced with a similar kind of dilemma and frustration. They look for higher forms of inspiration and spiritual satisfaction from the programs organized and offered by their temples. Often they shy away from temples because their needs are not served. Besides, they are discouraged by the highly commercialized nature of most temples.

There will be many participants and potential donors for Buddhist activities if they are focused on the core values and practices in the Buddha?s teachings that are of direct relevance for inner purification and development and increased understanding of the Dhamma. Temples rarely offer opportunities for mental training that helps one to grow to higher levels of emotional maturity where one can be free of normal unhappiness.

Buddhist meditation in particular, helps to free the mind of all forms of mental distortion such as stress, worry, strain, anxiety, sorrow, depression, despair, displeasure, frustration, and exasperation. It helps one to overcome the many pains and pressures of modern existence and to develop the capacity to better understand ones life. It helps one to live peacefully and happily.

The aim of Buddhist meditation is to raise the human consciousness to a higher level, to bring ones mind to a state of equilibrium. It is an effort to change ones thinking, feeling and behavior through the constant practice of introspective awareness of ones thoughts, feelings, speech and action. Meditation provides the greatest single capacity for improvement and fulfillment in life ? spiritually, intellectually, emotionally and physically.

Need for Change

If monks and temple programs are to make a difference in terms of making the Buddhist message relevant and meaningful to the contemporary western mind, a certain degree of tailoring of the Buddhist message and practices to match the socio-cultural conditions of recipient communities is a necessary strategy. It is by adopting such an approach that Buddhist monks can establish a fruitful dialogue with those in the West, including children of Buddhist parents, on the core values of the Buddhist faith.

What goes on in our temples do not convey to our children or help to convince them of the psychological flavour of Buddhism, that it is an ever-ongoing investigation of reality. That it is a microscopic examination of the very process of perception and that its intention is to pick apart the screen of lies and delusions through which we normally view the world, and thus to reveal the face of ultimate reality. They fail to reveal to our children that Buddhism presents them with an effective system for exploring the deeper levels of the mind, down to the very root of consciousness itself.

It is a fact that the large majority of Sri Lankan monks are not well versed or well equipped to serve any of the non-traditional spiritual needs of contemporary times. This is true not only among monks in the west but more so among those living in Sri Lanka.

Ways to Change

Irrelevant and inadequate training and exposure are among the most serious challenges faced by Sri Lankan monks who operate in the Western world. The kind of monastic training that our Bhikhus receive in the tradition-bound centers of learning in Sri Lanka, has to be drastically restructured and improved to make it relevant in terms of realities of contemporary life and social value systems.

Firstly, Bhikhus need to be conversant with modern disciplines and their diverse perspectives, especially disciplines such as sociology, anthropology, cognitive psychology, logic, neuro-physiology and so on. They should necessarily be conversant with other Buddhist traditions - Mahayana, Vajrayana, and Zen in particular.

Secondly, they should be well conversant with other religions, related practices and their approaches to the dissemination of religious knowledge.

Thirdly, as far as places like North America, UK and Australia are concerned, fluency in English is an essential prerequisite. This is for the mutual benefit of monks and the international community that they can serve. For those who are competent in these languages, the facilities and opportunities to further advance their knowledge is enormous in North America.

Fourthly, they should be conversant with the reasons behind the interest in Buddhism among the westerners, and the spiritual needs among some of them. Such knowledge and training will allow them to better interpret and convey the Buddha?s message in the idiom that the contemporary folk in the West can empathize with.

Why Turn to Buddhism

People in the western world have turned to Buddhism for different reasons. The interest of refined intellectuals and scholars appear to be an academic one, at least initially. Their interest is largely the outcome of the influence and motivation of their own academic disciplines and related research perspectives. Their interest largely focuses on the Buddha?s interpretation of some deeper aspects of life.

There are others in the west who are spiritually destabilized and yearn for inspirational strength from Buddhism. Their interests could be served satisfactorily only if our Bhikhus can convey the Buddha?s message in a way that is intelligible and comprehensible to the Western mind and adopting methods that the westerner can identify with and relate to fully.

The Dilemma

Buddhist monks are faced with the dilemma when it comes to explaining the impact of Buddhist teachings on the affairs of Sri Lanka and on the lives of people who inhabit it. The prevailing political, economic and socio-cultural conditions in Sri Lanka are largely contradictory to Buddhist teachings and practices. Sri Lanka is a house tragically in disarray. It cannot be a wellspring of inspiration to nations and peoples who are more fortunately circumstanced. Our monks have a hard time explaining why our Buddhist land is such a crucible of misery. It does not reflect any strong influence of the Buddha?s teachings.

Enlightened Leadership

It is a fact that Buddhism draws strength from enlightened leadership. Such leadership should be exemplary in terms of its devotion to Buddhism. It has to be a leadership that moves the ordinary people to heights of religious devotion through concern and compassion. Such leadership is generally threefold ?secular Buddhist leadership of the political elite, religious leadership of the Buddhist Sangha, and People?s leadership mostly through organizations.

All three aspects of this leadership must be healthy for the ?florescence? of Buddhism. But today, all three parts are in a very sick condition. We continue to have a political leadership in Sri Lanka that has forfeited its moral and ethical leadership in order to promote the cause of globalization and a corporate culture system that does not accommodate Buddhist principles.

We have a Sangha community that contributes little in the form of meaningful leadership, to say the least. Some are busy serving their worldly self-interests, leading lives that are in total contradiction to what they preach. Their influence is no different to that of the political elite of Sri Lanka. Concerned people have reacted to this trend by distancing themselves from monks and temples. Some monks fail to earn the respect that they use to earn, and most appear to be not accepting responsibility for this sad trend.

The greater mass of lay Buddhists regard the Buddhist faith as an end-game strategy and a preparation for death. Their interests in temples and monks are virtually confined to the participation in rites and rituals. Monks continue to encourage and propagate these rites and rituals, performing them with much vigor. These practices have become lucrative sources of material benefits for monks and temples. With very few exceptions, rituals form the primary basis of interaction of monks and people.

There is a great need for the caring and sensible Buddhists within and outside Sri Lanka to organize themselves to avert the erosion of Buddhist values occasioned by the lack of enlightened Buddhist leadership. A realistic strategy and approach need to be developed, to directly address the glaring problems facing contemporary Buddhists and ways of helping to reform and re-invigorate the Sangha need to be identified in a pragmatic manner.

We have to be protective of our culture. It is time that we made a determined effort to reclaim our cultural heritage. We know that it is in our own culture where we instinctively feel most comfortable and where we are ourselves.

It is by sharing and helping to incorporate its values to shape their lives that this great cultural inheritance can be sustained for succeeding generations. In promoting it among our children, the realities of the times and environment in which they live should be essential considerations. In contemporary times, with its special cluster of bafflement, discord and uncertainties, the relevance of the Buddha?s teachings, cannot be overemphasized.

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Weychin SG

http://www.buddhistchannel.tv/index.php?id=8,217,0,0,1,0

Weychin SG

Look, Mommy, that Lady Has No Hair!

by Bhikshuni Thubten Chodron©

Walking around Green Lake in Seattle one afternoon, I passed a woman with her little girl. The child looked at me and exclaimed, "Look, Mommy! That lady doesn't have any hair!" Unfazed, I smiled at her. I'm used to it. Although Buddhism is better known in the West now than twenty years ago, people seldom expect a Western woman to be a Buddhist monastic.

When I give talks in high schools, I'm frequently asked, "Why do Buddhists shave their heads?" I respond that not all Buddhists shave their heads, just the monastics. Many people who are Buddhists have long hair; they look and dress like everyone else. It is a person's personal decision whether or not to become a monastic; no one forces us to do it or makes the decision for us. However, if someone becomes a monastic, he or she adopts a "look." Just as some occupations entail wearing a uniform so people can identify them, monastics wear a "uniform," our monastic robes. Part of our appearance is our hair, or rather our lack of it. Why is shaving off our hair part of taking monastic vows?

Shaving our head symbolizes cutting off confusion, hostility, and attachment-what the Buddha called the "three poisonous attitudes." These three mental toxins poison our well-being and our relationships with others. Confusion makes us ignorant about the causes of happiness and the causes of suffering. Hostility and anger ruin our relationships with others, especially with those we care about the most. Attachment clings to people, things, places, and ideas with the mistaken notion that they will make us happy. Cutting off these three eliminates the causes of our misery. It also frees us to direct our energy to cultivating equanimity, love, compassion, joy, and wisdom in our hearts.

Whenever we monastics shave our head, we think about cutting off our own and others' confusion, hostility, and attachment. Cutting our hair becomes a way to recall the purpose of our life. In other words, we haven't become monastics in order to look good, be popular, gain prestige, be rich, or have a lot of possessions. We don't seek security from family or romantic relationships. We aren't trying to climb the corporate ladder or become an acclaimed artist or skilled athlete. Instead, our spiritual practice and cultivating the ability to help others are what make our lives meaningful. Our purpose in life is to subdue our afflictive emotions and attitudes and cultivate beneficial ones through practicing the Buddha's teachings. In addition, to the extent that we are able to, we try to guide others to eliminate the three poisonous attitudes from their minds.

Another reason for shaving our head is that for most people, their hair is an object of attachment. People fuss a lot about their hair, spending a lot of time trying to get it to look right. They talk about their hair a lot and comment on others' hair. People who have blonde hair dye it black; those with brown hair want it to be blonde. Those with curly hair straighten it, and people with straight hair curl it. We're seldom satisfied with our hair or our appearance. Sometimes people think it's only women who make a big to-do about their hair. That's not so! Men who don't have hair buy toupees or lotion to make their hair rejuvenate. They comb their hair a certain way to make it look like they aren't as bald as they are. They put cream on it, cut it in a stylish way, and dye it. In short, both men and women have a lot of vanity regarding their hair and looks and spend a lot of time and money trying to improve them.

As monastics, we don't try to impress people by looking good because we understand that relationships based on superficial appearances don't last long. If someone likes me because I'm attractive, what will happen to their affection when I don't look so good? When I'm sick? As I age? It'll disappear because they don't really care about us as a human being.

In any case, trying to always look good is futile. Our society idolizes youth, yet no one is becoming younger. It's rather ridiculous that the media and advertising exalt what no one is becoming. We're all aging. Wrinkles are in the process of arriving, hair is turning gray or it will soon enough. So I've given up trying to look good. In fact, I don't want people to like me because I look good. I'd rather have deep and stable friendships with people who look for inner beauty--what a person has in his or her heart. Thus we monastics are committed to developing our inner beauty because that won't fade with age. Inner beauty--a kind heart that cherishes others for who they are-will draw others to us, be a base of true friendship, and enable us to be of benefit to others.

What does this have to do with young people? Am I hinting that everyone should shave their head? No! You can still work to cultivate equanimity, love, compassion, joy, and wisdom without shaving your head. But understanding the underlying symbolism of a shaved head--that it is not our outer appearances that matter but our inner beauty--will help you to let go of useless attachments in order to find true, lasting happiness.

http://www.thubtenchodron.org/YouthAndDharma/that_lady_has_no_hair.html

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