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From: J
Sent: Sunday, June 20, 2010 2:47 AM
To: AEN
Subject: Re: self-inquiry
> Actually, I have kept telling myself about the illusion you
just
> described all the time. I know all of this, but just can't
break
> through the illusion and see the truth directly.
&
If I tell you that I have read what you just said and have said
many
many times in the books I read or from internet, what should I
do
next?
&
Please feel free to post my questions and answers in your forum.
Yes,
please remove my identity.
As you know, I didn't really start doing some practice until
recently.
I understand that waking up is a personal work according to most
of
the spiritual teachers and writers I read. Just ask and see if you
and
Thusness might have some different view or shortcut. :) For
me,
spending 15 years reading and searching the truth was quite
grueling
experience. It is like the dog chasing its own tail: finding no
way
out and can't stop doing so. I went to several spiritual retreats
in
America before because the followers said their teachers are able
to
awaken a student. But I didn't wake up and found their
students'
experiences are quite shallow after talking to them.
I have some email exchanges with Anadi:
http://www.anaditeaching.com/teachingintro5.htm
He said:
You must awaken and find who you are. Go and learn,
experiment,
meditate. If a teacher cannot awaken you in his first meeting
with
you, this means that either he is not a real teacher, or that
you
yourself are spiritually immature.
He is kind of my last hope so far, but I haven't been able to
attend
his retreat due to time conflict.
Regards,
J
------------------
Hi,
You will have to do self inquiry... it is the direct path to
Seeing. By the
way I can see from your posts that you really 'yearn' for
enlightenment, and
this is also in my experience for quite some time in the past -
seeking
after some sort of 'event' or 'experience' (well even now these
concepts may
pop up due to habit but aren't taken so seriously anymore because
it is seen
that the truth of Being lies not in a future/past experience but is
an
experiential *fact* shining in plain view). This is a good sign and
is an
indication that you are now yearning to know and get to the bottom
of
knowing Who You Are. However, try not to rush through the process
of
self-inquiry in hopes of/expectations of gaining enlightenment
quickly or
gaining anything at all. Don't hold on to any expectations, because
any
holding is going to distract you from the truth of your Being, not
to
mention very painful as well. Do it slowly and patiently. It's
actually good
(even important and necessary) to have a yearning to know the
truth, but
direct that yearning/attention to Being Itself. What you want is to
know and
get intimate with (not that you ever left it) the truth of your
Being, not
'gaining a state of enlightenment' which leads to chasing after
illusory
future events and causes you to overlook your immediate
ever-present
timeless Truth. After all this is only about the already-present
naked
Truth of your Being, and nothing else.
Anything else is mind-made illusions, it is not the Truth. What you
want is
the Truth. 'Enlightenment' is simply the ever-present truth of your
Being,
it is not a future (or past) event happening to someone (which is
an
illusion). This is the problem with people giving you expectations,
and why
I am hesitant and reluctant to even mention things like
'enlightenment
should happen to you in xx months or years if you do this' because
it sets
up false hopes and expectations and illusions to dwell in. All
these
statements presume the reality of time and separate persons and are
merely
appearances or 'relative truths', but can be easily and mistakenly
grasped
as 'ultimate truth'. However, I did mention that to let you know
that
self-realization is definitely possible and is not a distant thing,
so there
is no reason to be disheartened because you have spent the last 15
years
intellectualizing over these and not found the answer (because you
are
looking at your conceptualizing mind and not the Self)... now you
have the
key, simply apply it and investigate your own direct experience to
find out
who/what you truly are, and the truth will be 'revealed' (as it
always has,
so self-evidently and clearly present right now, aware and
perceiving these
words) in no time.
I really like a certain quotation from a (very old and
authoritative) Dzogchen text/tantra that I feel is relevant
here,
"The desire for happiness is the disease of attachment; one can be
happy
only when free of desires. Realization is not achieved by striving
for it;
it arises spontaneously when one abides in the natural state
without seeking
anything. So remain in the natural state without seeking, without
concepts!
Even though the name "enlightenment" is used for the real nature,
this does
not mean that "enlightenment" concretely exists. If someone
believes the
opposite, [let them go ahead and try to find] enlightenment: apart
from the
dimension of fundamental reality, they will find nothing at all.
So, instead
of aiming for enlightenment, one has to understand the nature of
one's mind
beyond action. On examining one's mind, one finds nothing, yet at
the same
time there is clarity that is ever present. It does not manifest
concretely,
yet its essence is all pervading: this is the way its nature
presents
itself."
~ The Supreme Source
Try to have a habit of meditating 20 to 45 minutes per day.
Consistency is
key.
By the way regarding the 'short cuts' email, I will still check
with
Thusness on his opinion on the matter... but as far as I know,
there is no
short
cut in spirituality. But at the same time Thusness has told me
years ago,
self inquiry is a short cut to realization. Both are true. Self
Inquiry is
in fact the short cut (Thusness calls it 'direct path' in contrast
to
'gradual path') to self-realization, it leads to realizing your
luminous
essence very quickly. However the first realization of I
AM does not mean it is the end of the path - there is a gradual
deepening of
insight through integrating non-duality and anatta and emptiness
just as
described in the Thusness/PasserBy's Seven Stages of
Enlightenment.
In other words there is a process of refining insights and view. So
in this
way, there is no 'short cut' - everyone will have to go through a
process
that often takes several years and decades... even though it is
true that
Self Inquiry can lead to a sudden awakening of our true self very
quickly.
Even that however, usually takes months or up to a few years of
sincere
practice. It isn't so much of the amount of time - nobody can tell
you how
long it will take. However I notice that a very strong desire to
know and
penetrate the truth of your being, as well as knowing the right way
to
practice (not intellectualizing things but a Direct
looking/exploration of
the nature of your Being), is going to make self inquiry
successful.
However, I will relay your message to him and see what he replies
you.
p.s. "If a teacher cannot awaken you in his first meeting
with
you, this means that either he is not a real teacher, or that
you
yourself are spiritually immature." by Anadi
Is very true, however, most of us are 'spiritually immature'
because
'maturity' means many factors like investigation, past insights
and
experience, deep interest in truth, possibly/probably conditions
and factors
from past lives... all coming together and makes a student 'ripe
for
picking' by the master. Seldom do you hear of people who are
spontaneously
woken up by a teacher upon their first meeting (though it happens),
however
I have heard of many people who woke up after years of
practicing... then,
when they are ripe, all the master has to do is to point them out,
sometimes
just hitting them with their shoes, sometimes hitting them on their
head, or
just a short pointer, and everything falls into picture. Sometimes
if the
person is ripe no teacher is even necessary (but he/she would
probably have
trained for years under a teacher previously) - all it takes is a
sound or a
sight, pebbles hitting each other, something fell down, bell
sounded, a cup
broke, or just seeing something... that is how many Zen masters of
the past got enlightened. Much like how Thusness got enlightened
after hearing the 'Tonggg'. They were ready, and so a Master, or a
sound, a sight, is all it takes to wake them
up. But what is often not mentioned is that they often have a
history of
spiritual inquiry and practice and that is why they are 'ripe' at
that
particular moment.
Sometimes they are already ripe... but what is lacking is a true
teacher to
point them out. Often however, we start as beginners, 'unripe'.
For
example... Someone in my forum by the name of JonLS realized
non-duality
simply by reading a phrase written by Thusness, 'Manifestation is
Source'.
Thusness wrote to him because he knew that JonLS is 'ripe', his
conditions
were there for certain insights to arise, just needed some
pointers. All it
took was a few posts, a few days of conversation in the forum since
they
ever knew each other, and it 'happened'. My Taiwanese teacher woke
up 4 days
after meeting my Master (he was already ripe then - and my Master
knew he
was coming even before he arrived, and said upon his first meeting
'you have
finally come!' as if he knew him before - which is true, because
they had
Master-Student relationship even from past lives and both were
abbots and
Zen masters of a Zen monastery in Kyoto, Japan in their past
lives). For me
however, it has been years
since I knew Thusness and my dharma teachers and Master but I am
only only beginning to scratch the surface.
That is the difference.
BTW, it is often the case that a teacher may be able to lead even
beginner
students to a spontaneous recognition of their true nature simply
by
pointing out instructions. However, a deep and lasting realization
will not
usually come so fast. But the 'recognitions' eventually leads to
the
'realization'. Again, 'recognition' and 'realization' are
different
as I discussed earlier. As discussed here, even Ramana Maharshi's first experience at age
16 is a form of 'recognition' arising after a process of inference,
but that is still not the direct experience/realization of the
Self. That arose afterwards, so we can say that his initial
recognition led on to the realization.
FYI. Thusness/PasserBy's Seven Stages of
Enlightenment was written originally for JonLS,
after JonLS requested Thusness to share his experiences. I posted
it later
into my blog as I felt (and some others as well) that it was quite
important
and better to be well documented.
Regards
AEN