Nature, Value And Choice Of Religious Beliefs

last SG · 2010-04-06T00:56:28+00:00

Hi WisdomeyeYour question: Why did I convert to Buddhism? .....In my teenage years, I used to attend charismatic church with a circle like minded Christian p...

geis SG

http://www.jenchen.org.sg/
Volume 6 no 3
The Voice of Bliss
The family is our source of strength and happiness. Yet at times a diversity of religion and faith can exist within the family circle. The spirit of Buddhism advocates a freedom of choice, tolerance and mutual respect, for what good is there if there is religious homogeneity but a stark absence of happiness and bliss in the family? The key is practising the code of family ethics, compassion and loving-kindness and even if through these, others are not persuaded to the realm of Buddhism, let it be. Happiness and bliss, after all, is what all humanity seeks. Happy Family Mutual respect begets harmony

How may a family whose members have different religions live together harmoniously?

One common principle that mankind all over the world abides by is the freedom of choice of religion and faith. A country may have different religions co-existing at the same time, such as Buddhism, Catholicism, Christianity or Islam. But, we have to understand that it is the condition arising from love that causes people to have families, parents and children. It is a good thing if the family is happy and blissful. However, if the family members bear different faiths, so long as each member keeps his faith to himself, refrain from slandering or debating over each other’s faith, but mutually respecting each other’s faith and character, then the family will naturally be harmonious.

Further, the younger generation ought to refrain from arguing with their elders because it is their parents who brought them up. Moreover, there is no purpose in arguing with them. We have to practise filial piety and be good so that we do them proud. Then, they will feel that their children are righteous, well behaved, and may willingly join us to learn about Buddhism. This will be ideal. Otherwise, it is not filial to constantly argue with them. When we learn and practise Buddhism, we have to exercise wisdom. With regards to differences in religions and faiths, as long as we maintain mutual respect, I believe, the family will be harmonious.

Freedom in choice of religion

If the children of a Buddhist family choose to marry a person of a different faith, will the marriage work out well?

Although a person may be a Buddhist himself, it is not necessary that his children must also Buddhists. We may, of course, promote and encourage our children to embrace Buddhism. However, we cannot force it upon them. Moreover, we should not object to their marriage just because their partners are from a different faith.

In this present age, everybody has the freedom to love and choose his or her own lifetime partner. Similarly, everyone has the freedom of choice of religion and faith. No religion can compel its followers (and their dependants) to only believe in that particular faith, and object to marriages outside that particular faith. I believe, as parents, with regards to their children’s marriages, the primary concerns are the relationship between the two parties and how to guide their children in deciding their lifetime partners. Religion and faith are secondary factors; it is their happiness after the marriage that matters most of all. It would be useful for parents to counsel their children about the code of family ethics, such as the role and responsibilities of a husband and wife, and how to be good parents themselves. If they do not know how to live harmoniously and fulfil their responsibilities as husband and wife, or to be good parents, even if both of them believe in Buddhism, the marriage may still not work out well. If, for instance, the choice partner believes in a different faith, as a parent, one may promote the teachings of Buddhism so that he or she finds it acceptable. It will, of course, be good to establish a household based on the principles of Buddhism. If, meanwhile that cannot be achieved, one should adopt the Buddhist teaching of loving-kindness, compassion and equality towards all beings, in relation to the son-in-law or daughter-in-law. It is a good thing for a couple to bear the same faith and share the same principles and values, with both cultivating together and becoming partners on the Bodhi-path. It would be even better if they were eventually reborn in the Buddha-land.

Perfect harmony amid differences

I have embraced Buddhism and taken refuge in the Three Treasures, but my husband still adopts the Taoist way of praying to Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva (Guan-yin Pu-sa), what should I do?

Actually, while you believe in Buddhism, you still have to learn to be harmonious in all your endeavours. It may be because your husband has formed an affinity with Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva that he worships Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva in the Taoist way. According to the sutra of the Universal Door Chapter of Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva, “If a person can only be guided or saved by a government official, Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva shall manifest as a government official to explain the Dharma to him. If a person can only be guided or saved by a king of ghosts, Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva shall manifest as a king of ghosts to explain the Dharma to him. If a person can only be guided or saved by embracing another religion, Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva shall manifest as a person of that same religion to explain the Dharma to him.” Your husband prays to the Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva and yet he believes in Taoism. In this case we may consider him as a person who has embraced another religion, but has formed an affinity with Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva. Someday, when he understands the truth based on this affinity, he may embrace Buddhism.

You should compliment your husband; “I am indeed fortunate to meet a person like you. I have spoken to my Teacher about you and he says that you are a good man. You are devoted and in future many good things will happen to you.” Your husband will be delighted when he hears this, and may feel positive about your Teacher and your faith. In this way, one day, he may come to take refuge in the Three Treasures and embrace Buddhism.

On the other hand, you should not say, “My Teacher commented that you are no good and you are a believer of an unorthodox religion.” Your husband may be so angered by such a remark that the next time I conduct a Dharma talk, he may forbid you to attend. Hence, we have to be perfectly rounded (flexible?) and harmonious in the way we deal with all matters (being harmonious even among differences).

However, although he worships the Avalokitesvara Bodhisattva in that manner, you ought not to harbour such thought that, “since my husband worships the Bodhisattva as a Taoist, perhaps I should do likewise.”

AEN thank you for this nice article.

when someone makes a negative remark on Buddhism, will it be better to use the remark for our practice?

will looking at our own emotions and urges to respond help to reveal more significant understanding rather than engaging in a debate?

An Eternal Now SG

2) Based on the law of reincarnation, one must kill a human being in order to be reborn as a human being.

I know there are many pastors preaching these. This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Those pastors are twisting Buddha's teachings to suit their needs.

Wow, what kind of logic is that. LOL. Really ridiculous man. Obviously they never even heard of 'karma' before.

4) When miracles happen to Buddhists or prayers being answered. They told me Satan and demons can also perform miracles.

http://uqconnect.net/slsoc/bsq/budchr0.htm

Christians claim that miracles are sometimes performed in God's name and that the fact that this happens proves that God exists. This is an appealing argument until it is looked at a little more closely.

While Christians are quick to claim that because of their prayers the blind could see, the deaf could hear and crooked limbs were straightened, they are very slow in producing evidence to back up their claims. In fact, some Christians are so anxious to prove that miracles have occurred at their prayer meetings that the truth often gets lost in a flood of wild claims, extravagant boasts, and sometimes even conscious lies.

It is true that things which are unusual and difficult to explain do sometimes happen during religious events - but not just for Christians. Hindus, Muslims, Taoists, etc. all claim that their God or gods sometimes perform miracles. Christianity certainly does not have a monopoly on miracles. So, if miracles performed in God's name prove the existence of the Christian God, then miracles performed in the name of numerous other gods must likewise prove that they too exist.

Christians may try to overcome this fact by claiming that, when miracles occur in other religions, they are done through the power of the Devil. Perhaps the best way to counter this claim is to quote the Bible. When Jesus healed the sick, his enemies accused him of doing this through the power of the Devil. He answered that healing the sick results in good and if the Devil went around doing good he would destroy himself (Mk 3:22-26). Therefore the same could be said for the miracles performed by Hindus, Jews or Sikhs. If these miracles result in good, how can they be the work of the Devil?

An Eternal Now SG

AEN thank you for this nice article.

when someone makes a negative remark on Buddhism, will it be better to use the remark for our practice?

will looking at our own emotions and urges to respond help to reveal more significant understanding rather than engaging in a debate?

Yes indeed. Debate is useful in certain circumstances but at this point, I don't think there is much purpose for it.

wisdomeye SG

Precisely, at EH Ironfist claimed that he was an ex Buddhist who chanted Heart Sutra but from the posts he has posted, it seems that he has no basic knowledge of Buddhism. It is the trend now that most of the christian converts claim to be an ex-Buddhist. LOL.

Most of my close relatives are Christians. Let me share with you the common misconceptions that they have. They got the misconceptions from their religious leaders :

1) It is impossible to be as perfect as Buddha, thus Buddhists can never achieve our aim.

Correction : As I mentioned before, there is no need to be as perfect as Buddha in order to go to Buddha's Pureland but must meet the minimum requirements.

2) Based on the law of reincarnation, one must kill a human being in order to be reborn as a human being.

I know there are many pastors preaching these. This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. Those pastors are twisting Buddha's teachings to suit their needs.

3) Buddha was only a human being not God. Thus, not as powerful as God.

Correction : Buddha was a "special" human being. He was enlightened. My question is :Aren't Jesus was born as human being ?

4) When miracles happen to Buddhists or prayers being answered. They told me Satan and demons can also perform miracles.

Many more, just quoted the above 4 examples to show how other religious leaders distort Buddha's teachings.

Dawnfirstlight,

One of the problems of our local Buddhist community, here I'm generalising abit, is the lack of emphasis on widespread education on the dharma. Truly, we can also blame ourselves for it. That these ex-Buddhists have such mistaken opinions can be largely linked to our own failure to propagate the dharma clearly and in a widespread fashion.

This is also why i appreciate this forum becos at least it is trying to give Netizens a clearer picture thru articles n discussions. B4 this, i frankly felt that in Singapore not many was trying to really find out abt the actual teachings of Buddha and actualise them. Many of those who found out may easily slip into intellectualisation due to lack of practice or teachers to help them.

wisdomeye SG

AEN thank you for this nice article.

when someone makes a negative remark on Buddhism, will it be better to use the remark for our practice?

will looking at our own emotions and urges to respond help to reveal more significant understanding rather than engaging in a debate?

Hi Geis,

Fully agreed. However, apart from doing that, one can also help clarify others misunderstandings and have constructive discussion (won't call it debate yet) and this will not detract from looking at our own emotions....

what i mean is both can be done at same time.

at this junction of time, i wld like to say that those Buddhists who have learnt from teachers and books and personal practice should try their utmost to share their understanding with others. It is our responsibility.

The future of Buddhism does not only rest in the hands of great teachers and preachers but also depends on us common people to help spread the teachings by giving correct and accurate info where it is needed. Not in a pushy and proselytising manner to convert others, but to anyone who has queries, who needs, who misunderstands.

Most especially if the person is already a Buddhist, to give them info that clarifies their path is important and it is very meritorious.

geis SG

Hi Geis,

what i mean is both can be done at same time.

Most especially if the person is already a Buddhist, to give them info that clarifies their path is important and it is very meritorious.

yes :)

each's path is carved differently. sharing is the best way to learn, and the ready audience will embrace the sharing.

only thing is we tend to respond rather than reflect.

wisdomeye SG

yes :)

each's path is carved differently. sharing is the best way to learn, and the ready audience will embrace the sharing.

only thing is we tend to respond rather than reflect.

hi geis,

embracing is always happening... subconsciously too... planting seeds is very impt. and audience is not only the intended recipient but all those who read the forum. let mis-statements get away unaddressed is sometimes deemed silent acknowldgement.

geis SG

hi geis,

hmm true

thank you :) this exchange of comments has been beneficial :)

An Eternal Now SG

Just wondering. Do you people actually discuss your faith and practice outside of this forum?

For me, I don't. I only discuss work, play, etc with my friends.

geis SG

Just wondering. Do you people actually discuss your faith and practice outside of this forum?

For me, I don't. I only discuss work, play, etc with my friends.

not really. only one or two buddhist friends who are into the teachings, though most of my friends know i meditate.

An Eternal Now SG

not really. only one or two buddhist friends who are into the teachings, though most of my friends know i meditate.

I see...

Dawnfirstlight SG

Just wondering. Do you people actually discuss your faith and practice outside of this forum?

For me, I don't. I only discuss work, play, etc with my friends.

Yes, I do. Especially to free thinkers. Most of my friends are surprised that I am a devoted Buddhist because I don't look like one who chants.

Most of them do not know much about the true law of reincarnation. They thought the aim of being a Buddhist is to have a better rebirth which we Buddhists know that it is not the case.

Free thinkers and Christians I know have never heard of Amitabha's Pureland till I told them. Some were surprised that 阿弥陀佛was a Buddha. They told me they always heard the monks said 阿弥陀佛 in the movie but do not know what it is. I even showed them the picture of Amitabha.

I have even tried to talk to the Yi Kuan Dao but I find it very difficult because to them, Yi Kuan Dao and Buddhism are the same. So I let them be because I believe they will come to know about true Buddhism in their next life as they also pray to Goddess of Mercy and Maitreya.

An Eternal Now SG

Yes, I do. Especially to free thinkers. Most of my friends are surprised that I am a devoted Buddhist because I don't look like one who chants.

Most of them do not know much about the true law of reincarnation. They thought the aim of being a Buddhist is to have a better rebirth which we Buddhists know that it is not the case.

I see... that's interesting. How did you come to talk to them about Buddhism?

I don't feel it is very appropriate to talk to my friends about it. Perhaps also because my age group don't really feel drawn to spiritual things yet.. I just turned 20. Though a few of them has been to church (but left/back slided).

Spnw07 SG