to moderator:
ur frenz lastime at jen chen buddhism also confused and
kept on thinkiing abt this infact he kept on calling and smsing me
abt karma. i still have the telephone and smses as proof.
you should know which one my army frenz. i cant disclosed his
name online.
zzz
i am nt the only one expiriencing this.
my mom is another living proof.
my mom kept on scolding me i go buddhism centre now.
sianz....
His problem has nothing to do with jen chen. He was already into
Buddhism for many years before going into Jen Chen (which he only
came about 2 times), and used to be involved in a Buddhist society.
However he only went to a few activities and wasn't active, and
didn't read Buddhist books, so he don't have any deep understanding
of dharma.
And he has a lot of misconceptions about karma that has nothing
to do with Buddhism. He had these misconceptions long before he
came to Jen Chen so it has nothing to do with Jen Chen either. He
kept imagining things about karma and other stuff. And as you know,
his mental illness is more severe than yours, which he had a long
history of. He has not read a single Jen Chen book either, and
since he only came like 2-3 times I dun think he understands much
about our teachings.
Your problems are the result of existing psychological issues
which I would advise seeking treatment from a psychiatrist (hope
your mom allows), those problems are the result of imagination and
not the problem with Buddhism. Buddhism basically teaches the way
to transcend identification with the mind. Nobody else have such
problems -- there are hundreds of millions of Buddhists in the
world and I have not heard of such cases. I have only heard of lots
of people, more than I can count, who have experienced total
liberation, emancipation, and the highest bliss of knowing their
true nature. If practiced rightly this is the way to full
liberation.
And no need to talk about your mother since she is a Tian
Dao-ist and not a Buddhist, and have confused understanding of
Buddhism mixed with Tian Dao.
BTW regarding your hell dreams, that's because you think of hell
too much. If you keep thinking of hell you dream of hell, if you
keep thinking of heaven you dream of heaven. Buddhism teach us
don't think of anything. Just sustain awareness. Our
presence-awareness is like a stillpoint... totally outside the
stream of time and movements. Just drop our imaginations and return
to this stillpoint. Only those who have experienced this for
himself knows the liberation and bliss in cutting through all the
crap (imaginations) and resting in your original nature... which I
am only having glimpses now.
I don't think I have nightmares more than 2-3 times a year, and
even those nightmares aren't scary but just a bit unpleasant. Most
of my dreams are pleasant. Sometimes I don't remember any
dreams.